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Time for a JOKE
- Thread starter Rod
- Start date
CoventryCat86
Corresponding authority
- Joined
- Jun 18, 2003
- Messages
- 12,606
Just a wee story about loyalty in marriage...
A woman's husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet she had stayed by his bedside every single day. One day, when he came to, he motioned for her to come nearer. As she sat by him, he whispered, eyes full of tears, "You know what? You have been with me all through the bad times. When I got fired, you were there to support me. When my business failed, you were there.
When I got shot, you were by my side. When we lost the house, you stayed right here. When my health started failing, you were still by my side...You know what?
"What dear?"she gently asked, smiling as her heart began to fill with warmth.
"I think you're bad luck, get the f#ck away from me."
A woman's husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet she had stayed by his bedside every single day. One day, when he came to, he motioned for her to come nearer. As she sat by him, he whispered, eyes full of tears, "You know what? You have been with me all through the bad times. When I got fired, you were there to support me. When my business failed, you were there.
When I got shot, you were by my side. When we lost the house, you stayed right here. When my health started failing, you were still by my side...You know what?
"What dear?"she gently asked, smiling as her heart began to fill with warmth.
"I think you're bad luck, get the f#ck away from me."
CoventryCat86
Corresponding authority
- Joined
- Jun 18, 2003
- Messages
- 12,606
Jesse Jackson is visiting a primary school and he visits one of the classes. They are in the middle of a discussion related to Words and their meanings. The teacher asks the Rev. Jackson if he would like to lead the discussion on the word "tragedy". So the illustrious leader asks the class for an example of a "tragedy".
One little boy stands up and offers: "If my best friend, who Lives on a farm, is playing in the field and a runaway tractor comes along and knocks him dead, that would be a tragedy.
"No," says the Great Jesse Jackson," that would be an accident."
A little girl raises her hand: "If a school bus carrying 50 Children drove over a cliff, killing everyone inside, that would be a tragedy."
"I'm afraid not," explains the exalted spiritual leader. "That's what we would call a great loss."
The room goes silent. No other children volunteer.
Rev. Jackson searches the room. "Isn't there someone here who can give me an example of a tragedy?"
Finally at the back of the room, little Johnny raises his hand. In a quiet voice he says: "If a jet carrying the Rev. Jackson were Struck by a missile and blown to smithereens, that would be a tragedy."
"Fantastic!" exclaims Jackson, "That's right. And can you tell Me why that would be tragedy?"
"Well," says the boy, "because it sure as hell wouldn't be a great loss and it probably wouldn't be an accident either."
One little boy stands up and offers: "If my best friend, who Lives on a farm, is playing in the field and a runaway tractor comes along and knocks him dead, that would be a tragedy.
"No," says the Great Jesse Jackson," that would be an accident."
A little girl raises her hand: "If a school bus carrying 50 Children drove over a cliff, killing everyone inside, that would be a tragedy."
"I'm afraid not," explains the exalted spiritual leader. "That's what we would call a great loss."
The room goes silent. No other children volunteer.
Rev. Jackson searches the room. "Isn't there someone here who can give me an example of a tragedy?"
Finally at the back of the room, little Johnny raises his hand. In a quiet voice he says: "If a jet carrying the Rev. Jackson were Struck by a missile and blown to smithereens, that would be a tragedy."
"Fantastic!" exclaims Jackson, "That's right. And can you tell Me why that would be tragedy?"
"Well," says the boy, "because it sure as hell wouldn't be a great loss and it probably wouldn't be an accident either."
cigarsarge
BOHICA
- Joined
- Dec 29, 2003
- Messages
- 2,869
A State Trooper was dispatched to a fatality accident. When he arrived he saw a female lying naked in the roadway. The force of the accident had ripped her clothes off. The Trooper removed his hat and placed his hat over the ladies private parts. A Deputy Sheriff soon arrives to assist the Trooper. The Deputy walks over to the lady and lifts the hat up and then puts it back down. He does this several times causing the Trooper to notice this. The Trooper says "What are you doing. Are you some kind of a pervert?" The Deputy replies, "No. This is just the first time I've ever seen one of these hats withour a #rick under it." 
Gunpowder
Cigar Search & destroy V 1.20
- Joined
- Nov 2, 2003
- Messages
- 1,401
Monkey goes into a bar and walks up to the bartender. The Bartender says" what ya have"? The monkey says do you have any grapes? The bartender says no. The Monkey soon leaves.
Monkey comes back in the bar an hour later and sits at the bar. The bartender asks " what ya have? The monkey says " do you have any grapes? The bartender says no and if you ask me agian I will nail your feet to the floor. Soon after the monkey walks out.
The Monkey walks back in in a few minutes and sits at the bar. The bartender says what will ya have? Wheras the monkey replies do you have any nails? The bartender replies no. The monkey then says "do you have any grapes?"
Monkey comes back in the bar an hour later and sits at the bar. The bartender asks " what ya have? The monkey says " do you have any grapes? The bartender says no and if you ask me agian I will nail your feet to the floor. Soon after the monkey walks out.
The Monkey walks back in in a few minutes and sits at the bar. The bartender says what will ya have? Wheras the monkey replies do you have any nails? The bartender replies no. The monkey then says "do you have any grapes?"
hudsonvalley
MMMM...Ember
- Joined
- Sep 26, 2004
- Messages
- 1,582
CoventryCat86
Corresponding authority
- Joined
- Jun 18, 2003
- Messages
- 12,606
WOMAN'S PERFECT BREAKFAST
She's sitting at the table with her gourmet coffee. Her son is on the cover of the Wheaties box. Her daughter is on the cover of Business Week. Her boyfriend is on the cover of Playgirl. And her husband is on the back of the milk carton.
WOMEN'S REVENGE
"Cash, check or charge?" I asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase. As she fumbled for her wallet I noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse. "So, do you always carry your TV remote?" I asked. "No," she replied, "but my husband refused to come shopping with me, so I figured this was the most legal evil thing I could do to him."
She's sitting at the table with her gourmet coffee. Her son is on the cover of the Wheaties box. Her daughter is on the cover of Business Week. Her boyfriend is on the cover of Playgirl. And her husband is on the back of the milk carton.
WOMEN'S REVENGE
"Cash, check or charge?" I asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase. As she fumbled for her wallet I noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse. "So, do you always carry your TV remote?" I asked. "No," she replied, "but my husband refused to come shopping with me, so I figured this was the most legal evil thing I could do to him."
CoventryCat86
Corresponding authority
- Joined
- Jun 18, 2003
- Messages
- 12,606
LITTLE BILLY ON. . . PHILOSOPHY:
A teacher asks her class, "If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?”
She calls on little BILLY.
He replies, "None, they will all fly away with the first gunshot."
The teacher replies, "The correct answer is 4, but I like your thinking.
Then little BILLY says, "I have a question for YOU. There are 3 women sitting on a bench having ice cream: One is delicately licking the sides of the triple scoop of ice cream. The second is gobbling down the top and sucking the cone. The third is biting off the top of the ice cream.
Which one is married?”
The teacher, blushing a great deal, replies, "Well, I suppose the one that's gobbled down the top and sucked the cone.”
To which Little BILLY replied, "The correct answer is the one with the wedding ring on, but I like your thinking."
__________________________________________________
LITTLE BILLY ON. . . MATH:
Little BILLY returns home from school and says he got an F in arithmetic.
"Why?" asks the father.
"The teacher asked, 'How much is 2x3?' I said 6," replied BILLY.
"But that's right!" says his dad.
”Yeah, but then she asked me, 'How much is 3x2? '"
"What's the f#cking difference?” asks the father?
"That's what I said!”
__________________________________________________
LITTLE BILLY ON. . . ENGLISH:
Little BILLY goes to school, and the teacher says, "Today we are going to learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an example of a multi-syllable word?”
BILLY says "Mas-tur-bate.”
Miss Rogers smiles and says, "Wow, little BILLY, that's a mouthful."
Little BILLY says, "No, Miss Rogers, you're thinking of a blowjob."
__________________________________________________
LITTLE BILLY ON. . . GRAMMAR:
One day, during lessons on proper grammar, the teacher asked for a show hands from those who could use the word "lovely" in the same sentence twice.
First she called on little Suzie, who responded with, "My father
bought my mother a lovely dress and she looked lovely in it."
"Very good, Suzie, " replied the teacher. She then called on little Michael.
"My mommy planned a lovely banquet and it turned out lovely."
The teacher responded, "Excellent, Michael!" Then, she reluctantly called on little BILLY.
"Last night, at the dinner table, my sister announced to my father that she was pregnant, and he said "lovely, just f#cking lovely"!
A teacher asks her class, "If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?”
She calls on little BILLY.
He replies, "None, they will all fly away with the first gunshot."
The teacher replies, "The correct answer is 4, but I like your thinking.
Then little BILLY says, "I have a question for YOU. There are 3 women sitting on a bench having ice cream: One is delicately licking the sides of the triple scoop of ice cream. The second is gobbling down the top and sucking the cone. The third is biting off the top of the ice cream.
Which one is married?”
The teacher, blushing a great deal, replies, "Well, I suppose the one that's gobbled down the top and sucked the cone.”
To which Little BILLY replied, "The correct answer is the one with the wedding ring on, but I like your thinking."
__________________________________________________
LITTLE BILLY ON. . . MATH:
Little BILLY returns home from school and says he got an F in arithmetic.
"Why?" asks the father.
"The teacher asked, 'How much is 2x3?' I said 6," replied BILLY.
"But that's right!" says his dad.
”Yeah, but then she asked me, 'How much is 3x2? '"
"What's the f#cking difference?” asks the father?
"That's what I said!”
__________________________________________________
LITTLE BILLY ON. . . ENGLISH:
Little BILLY goes to school, and the teacher says, "Today we are going to learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an example of a multi-syllable word?”
BILLY says "Mas-tur-bate.”
Miss Rogers smiles and says, "Wow, little BILLY, that's a mouthful."
Little BILLY says, "No, Miss Rogers, you're thinking of a blowjob."
__________________________________________________
LITTLE BILLY ON. . . GRAMMAR:
One day, during lessons on proper grammar, the teacher asked for a show hands from those who could use the word "lovely" in the same sentence twice.
First she called on little Suzie, who responded with, "My father
bought my mother a lovely dress and she looked lovely in it."
"Very good, Suzie, " replied the teacher. She then called on little Michael.
"My mommy planned a lovely banquet and it turned out lovely."
The teacher responded, "Excellent, Michael!" Then, she reluctantly called on little BILLY.
"Last night, at the dinner table, my sister announced to my father that she was pregnant, and he said "lovely, just f#cking lovely"!
BrownDevil
BOTL
- Joined
- Jun 30, 2004
- Messages
- 3,257
A young indian brave asks his grandfather, "Grandfather, how do you name all of us?"
The grandfather looks down at the young brave, and says, "Well I just take whatever I see, and use it to name them. For example, when your uncle was born the rain was falling softly. So I name him, Rain Falling Softly. When your father was born I saw a cheetah running swiftly, so I named him, Cheetah Running Swiftly."
The old indian put his hand on the young brave's shoulder and said, "Tell me two dogs fu*king, why do you ask?"
The grandfather looks down at the young brave, and says, "Well I just take whatever I see, and use it to name them. For example, when your uncle was born the rain was falling softly. So I name him, Rain Falling Softly. When your father was born I saw a cheetah running swiftly, so I named him, Cheetah Running Swiftly."
The old indian put his hand on the young brave's shoulder and said, "Tell me two dogs fu*king, why do you ask?"
You May Be From California if…
Your coworker has 8 body piercings and none are visible.
You make over $300,000 and still can't afford a house.
You take a bus and are shocked at two people carrying on a conversation in English.
Your child's 3rd-grade teacher has purple hair, a nose ring, and is named Breeze.
You can't remember... is pot illegal?
You've been to a baby shower that has two mothers and a sperm donor.
You have a very strong opinion about where your coffee beans are grown, and you can taste the difference between Sumatran and Ethiopian.
You know which restaurant serves the freshest arugula.
You can't remember.... is pot illegal?
A really great parking space can totally move you to tears.
A low speed police pursuit will interrupt ANY TV broadcast.
Gas costs $1.00 per gallon more than anywhere else in the U. S.
A man gets on the bus in full leather regalia and crotchless chaps. You don't even notice.
Unlike back home, the guy at 8:30am at Starbucks wearing the baseball cap and sunglasses who looks like George Clooney really IS George Clooney.
Your car insurance costs as much as your house payment.
Your hairdresser is straight, your plumber is gay, the woman who delivers your mail is into S & M, and your Mary Kay rep is a guy in drag
You can't remember... is pot illegal?
It's barely sprinkling rain and there's a report on every news station: "STORM WATCH 2004."
You have to leave the big company meeting early because Billy Blanks himself is teaching the 4:00 pm Tae Bo class.
You pass an elementary school playground and the children are all busy with their cells or pagers.
It's barely sprinkling rain outside, so you leave for work an hour early to avoid all the weather-related accidents.
Hey!!!! Is Pot Illegal????
Both you AND your dog have therapists.
The Terminator is your governor!
Your coworker has 8 body piercings and none are visible.
You make over $300,000 and still can't afford a house.
You take a bus and are shocked at two people carrying on a conversation in English.
Your child's 3rd-grade teacher has purple hair, a nose ring, and is named Breeze.
You can't remember... is pot illegal?
You've been to a baby shower that has two mothers and a sperm donor.
You have a very strong opinion about where your coffee beans are grown, and you can taste the difference between Sumatran and Ethiopian.
You know which restaurant serves the freshest arugula.
You can't remember.... is pot illegal?
A really great parking space can totally move you to tears.
A low speed police pursuit will interrupt ANY TV broadcast.
Gas costs $1.00 per gallon more than anywhere else in the U. S.
A man gets on the bus in full leather regalia and crotchless chaps. You don't even notice.
Unlike back home, the guy at 8:30am at Starbucks wearing the baseball cap and sunglasses who looks like George Clooney really IS George Clooney.
Your car insurance costs as much as your house payment.
Your hairdresser is straight, your plumber is gay, the woman who delivers your mail is into S & M, and your Mary Kay rep is a guy in drag
You can't remember... is pot illegal?
It's barely sprinkling rain and there's a report on every news station: "STORM WATCH 2004."
You have to leave the big company meeting early because Billy Blanks himself is teaching the 4:00 pm Tae Bo class.
You pass an elementary school playground and the children are all busy with their cells or pagers.
It's barely sprinkling rain outside, so you leave for work an hour early to avoid all the weather-related accidents.
Hey!!!! Is Pot Illegal????
Both you AND your dog have therapists.
The Terminator is your governor!
How To Keep
Your Mental Health
Sit in your parked car wearing your sunglasses and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.
Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.
Every time someone asks you to do something, ask, "Do you want fries with that?"
Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "In."
Put decaf in the coffee maker for three weeks. Once everyone is over their caffeine addiction, switch to espresso.
In the memo field of all your checks, write "For sexual favors."
End all your sentences with, "in accordance with prophecy."
dont use any punctuation
As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after they answer.
Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."
Sing along at the opera.
Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.
Put mosquito netting around your cubicle and play tropical sounds all day.
Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood.
Make co-workers call you by your wrestling name: "Rock Hard."
When your money comes out of the ATM, scream, "I won! I won!"
When leaving the zoo, start running towards the lot, yelling, "Run for your lives, they're loose!!"
Tell your children over dinner, "Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go."
Your Mental Health
Sit in your parked car wearing your sunglasses and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.
Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.
Every time someone asks you to do something, ask, "Do you want fries with that?"
Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "In."
Put decaf in the coffee maker for three weeks. Once everyone is over their caffeine addiction, switch to espresso.
In the memo field of all your checks, write "For sexual favors."
End all your sentences with, "in accordance with prophecy."
dont use any punctuation
As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after they answer.
Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."
Sing along at the opera.
Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.
Put mosquito netting around your cubicle and play tropical sounds all day.
Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood.
Make co-workers call you by your wrestling name: "Rock Hard."
When your money comes out of the ATM, scream, "I won! I won!"
When leaving the zoo, start running towards the lot, yelling, "Run for your lives, they're loose!!"
Tell your children over dinner, "Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go."
Romantic? Or Not?
These entries were submitted to a Washington Post newspaper competition
asking for a rhyme with the most romantic first line and least romantic second line.
Love may be beautiful, love may be bliss,
But I only slept with you because I was pissed.
I thought that I could love no other
Until, that is, I met your brother.
Roses are red, violets are blue,
sugar is sweet, and so are you.
But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead,
the sugar bowl's empty and so is your head.
Of loving beauty you float with grace
If only you could hide your face.
Kind, intelligent, loving and hot;
This describes everything you are not.
I want to feel your sweet embrace,
But don't take that paper bag off of your face.
I love your smile, your face, your eyes--
Damn, I'm good at telling lies!
My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife:
Marrying you screwed up my life
I see your face when I am dreaming.
That's why I always wake up screaming.
My love, you take my breath away.
But what have you stepped in to smell this way?
My feelings for you no words can tell,
Except for maybe, "Go to hell!"
What inspired this amorous rhyme?
Two parts vodka, one part lime.
These entries were submitted to a Washington Post newspaper competition
asking for a rhyme with the most romantic first line and least romantic second line.
Love may be beautiful, love may be bliss,
But I only slept with you because I was pissed.
I thought that I could love no other
Until, that is, I met your brother.
Roses are red, violets are blue,
sugar is sweet, and so are you.
But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead,
the sugar bowl's empty and so is your head.
Of loving beauty you float with grace
If only you could hide your face.
Kind, intelligent, loving and hot;
This describes everything you are not.
I want to feel your sweet embrace,
But don't take that paper bag off of your face.
I love your smile, your face, your eyes--
Damn, I'm good at telling lies!
My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife:
Marrying you screwed up my life
I see your face when I am dreaming.
That's why I always wake up screaming.
My love, you take my breath away.
But what have you stepped in to smell this way?
My feelings for you no words can tell,
Except for maybe, "Go to hell!"
What inspired this amorous rhyme?
Two parts vodka, one part lime.
Hey Im getting the hang of this post padding thing
:whistling:
Breasticons
Perfect Breasts (o)(o)
Fake Silicone Breasts ( + )( + )
Perky Breasts (*)(*)
Big nipple Breasts (@)(@)
A cup Breasts ° °
D cup Breasts { O }{ O }
Wonder Bra Breasts (oYo)
Cold Breasts (^)(^)
Lopsided Breasts (o)( O )
Pierced Breast (Q)(O)
Hanging Tassels (p)(q)
Grandma Breasts \ o /\ o /
Against the Shower Door Breasts ( )( )
Android Breasts | o | | o |
Martha Stewart Breasts ($)($)
:whistling:
Breasticons
Perfect Breasts (o)(o)
Fake Silicone Breasts ( + )( + )
Perky Breasts (*)(*)
Big nipple Breasts (@)(@)
A cup Breasts ° °
D cup Breasts { O }{ O }
Wonder Bra Breasts (oYo)
Cold Breasts (^)(^)
Lopsided Breasts (o)( O )
Pierced Breast (Q)(O)
Hanging Tassels (p)(q)
Grandma Breasts \ o /\ o /
Against the Shower Door Breasts ( )( )
Android Breasts | o | | o |
Martha Stewart Breasts ($)($)
BrownDevil
BOTL
- Joined
- Jun 30, 2004
- Messages
- 3,257
Being from CA, I gotta say that California joke was a dud :whistling:
It might have been funny in the mid 90's though so "A" for effort
It might have been funny in the mid 90's though so "A" for effort
OK one last one
Male Date Drug Warning
Police warn all male clubbers, party-goers and unsuspecting public house regulars to be more alert and cautious when getting a drink offer from a girl.
There is a drug, usually found in liquid form, now commonly being used by female predators at parties to convince their male victims to have intimate relations with them. The shocking statistic is that this fluid (called "beer") is available nearly everywhere!
All a girl need do is buy a few beers for almost any guy and then ask the guy home for a no-strings-attached encounter. Men are literally rendered helpless against such attacks.
Attacks generally come from unscrupulous women who render their prey helpless in order to satisfy their unsatiated desires with blokes of a more discerning nature. Please! Forward this warning to every male you know.
Innocent Men: if you fall victim to this insidious drug and the predatory creatures administering it, there are male support groups with venues in nearly every town, suburb, and city where you can discuss the details of your shocking encounter in an open and frank manner with a group of similarly-affected, like-minded men. To find the nearest venue near you, just look in the Yellow Pages under "Bar."
Male Date Drug Warning
Police warn all male clubbers, party-goers and unsuspecting public house regulars to be more alert and cautious when getting a drink offer from a girl.
There is a drug, usually found in liquid form, now commonly being used by female predators at parties to convince their male victims to have intimate relations with them. The shocking statistic is that this fluid (called "beer") is available nearly everywhere!
All a girl need do is buy a few beers for almost any guy and then ask the guy home for a no-strings-attached encounter. Men are literally rendered helpless against such attacks.
Attacks generally come from unscrupulous women who render their prey helpless in order to satisfy their unsatiated desires with blokes of a more discerning nature. Please! Forward this warning to every male you know.
Innocent Men: if you fall victim to this insidious drug and the predatory creatures administering it, there are male support groups with venues in nearly every town, suburb, and city where you can discuss the details of your shocking encounter in an open and frank manner with a group of similarly-affected, like-minded men. To find the nearest venue near you, just look in the Yellow Pages under "Bar."
Seizure
Member
- Joined
- Dec 8, 2004
- Messages
- 287
An old happilymarried couple were in bed, reading a book together when the husband asks the wife "Honey have you ever cheated on me?"
The Wife nonchalantly replies "Of course I have, 3 separate times"
The Husband shocked and in disbelief "3 times? I can't believe you did that....."
Before the husband could finish his sentence his wife replied "Let me explain
The first time, you were in a terrible accident when we were young, and we didn't have any money for the hospital bills, so I slept with the Doctor so you can get medical attention
The Husband replied "Ok...I guess that's within reason, what's the 2nd time"
The Wife reponds "The Second time, was when we were older, when you just couldn't get that promotion no matter how much you tried, until I slept with your Boss"
The husband replied "Ok, that's still within reason, well what's the third time?"
The wife reponds a little more hesitant "Remember last year when you were running for Mayor, and you were behind by 137 votes?............."
:laugh:
The Wife nonchalantly replies "Of course I have, 3 separate times"
The Husband shocked and in disbelief "3 times? I can't believe you did that....."
Before the husband could finish his sentence his wife replied "Let me explain
The first time, you were in a terrible accident when we were young, and we didn't have any money for the hospital bills, so I slept with the Doctor so you can get medical attention
The Husband replied "Ok...I guess that's within reason, what's the 2nd time"
The Wife reponds "The Second time, was when we were older, when you just couldn't get that promotion no matter how much you tried, until I slept with your Boss"
The husband replied "Ok, that's still within reason, well what's the third time?"
The wife reponds a little more hesitant "Remember last year when you were running for Mayor, and you were behind by 137 votes?............."
:laugh:
the gurkha
NWMSU Mafia Godfather
- Joined
- Jan 10, 2005
- Messages
- 268
What do you call a line of rabbits hopping backwards?
A receding hairline
A receding hairline
stevehawk
'Member? C'mon you 'member!
- Joined
- Nov 12, 2004
- Messages
- 4,113
This here's a joke for the Martisburg Mafia. Hell, I'm from WV too!
****************
WEST VIRGINIA JOKE:
Two men are driving through West Virginia when they get pulled over by a
deputy sheriff. The sheriff walks up and taps on the window with his nightstick. The driver rolls down the window and WHACK, the sheriff smacks him in the head with the stick.
"What the hell was that for?" the driver asks.
"You're in West Virginia, boy," the sheriff answers. "When we pull you over, you better have your license ready when we get to your car."
"I'm sorry, officer," the driver says. "I'm not from around here. My name is CC and I'm from Connecticut."
The deputy runs a check on the guy's license--he's clean--and gives his license back. The deputy then walks around to the passenger side and taps on the window. The passenger (PuroBrat) rolls down the window and WHACK, the sheriff smacks him on the head with the nightstick.
"What'd you do that for?" the passenger whines.
"Just making your wish come true," replies the deputy.
"Making WHAT wish come true?" the passenger asks.
"Well now," says the deputy, "you know and I know that about two blocks down the road you're going to turn to your buddy and say, "I wish that asshole had tried that **** with me !"
****************
WEST VIRGINIA JOKE:
Two men are driving through West Virginia when they get pulled over by a
deputy sheriff. The sheriff walks up and taps on the window with his nightstick. The driver rolls down the window and WHACK, the sheriff smacks him in the head with the stick.
"What the hell was that for?" the driver asks.
"You're in West Virginia, boy," the sheriff answers. "When we pull you over, you better have your license ready when we get to your car."
"I'm sorry, officer," the driver says. "I'm not from around here. My name is CC and I'm from Connecticut."
The deputy runs a check on the guy's license--he's clean--and gives his license back. The deputy then walks around to the passenger side and taps on the window. The passenger (PuroBrat) rolls down the window and WHACK, the sheriff smacks him on the head with the nightstick.
"What'd you do that for?" the passenger whines.
"Just making your wish come true," replies the deputy.
"Making WHAT wish come true?" the passenger asks.
"Well now," says the deputy, "you know and I know that about two blocks down the road you're going to turn to your buddy and say, "I wish that asshole had tried that **** with me !"
BrownDevil
BOTL
- Joined
- Jun 30, 2004
- Messages
- 3,257
1/4 chuckle
