Thought’s Dad Joke Thread

[jbfurdog]

JOTD

What does this mean, Jerk Off Then Decide?

 

[kann]

What does this mean, Jerk Off Then Decide?

I call this, "shower time".

Joke Of The Day. Every morning for me/evening for her, I try to text my daughter in Hawaii a dumb joke. This thread has kept me in business long after I thought I'd run out of material.

 

[jbfurdog]

Joke of the day. Duh. I blame lack of sleep.

 

[Undegreed]

Courtesy of my grandson.

Why can't a nose be 12 inches long?

Because then it would be a foot!

 

[drunkfish3]

What do you call a row of rabbits hopping away?

A receding hare line!

 

[CigSid]

What do you call a row of rabbits hopping away?

A receding hare line!

Brad will love that one

 

[Thoughts]

Brad will love that one

I want you to know!!! I still carry a comb with me wherever I go. I just can’t part with it....

 

[Undegreed]

I want you to know!!! I still carry a comb with me wherever I go. I just can’t part with it....

Ba-dum-bum. Well played.

 

[Undegreed]

Yoda had a last name.

It was Layheehoo.

 

[PaulTra]

My cousin was born without eyelids. Thankfully, the doctors used the skin from my cousin's circumcision to make him some new eyelids, but they were a little cockeyed.

 

[Undegreed]

Why do eskimos wash their clothes in Tide?

Because it's too cold out Tide.

 

[CarsonTheCat]

I had a genius idea to design a pencil with an eraser on both ends, but then realized it would be pointless.

 

[Thoughts]

My daughter complains I don't give her enough privacy.
At least that's what her diary entry says....

My doctor told me I was going deaf.
That was hard to hear....

As a kid, batman had super vision.
Cause his parents died....

 

[kann]

Ok, so not exactly a Dad Joke, but if you know, you know...

 

[kann]

Since there will be questions, I'll just tell you: it's a "The Never Ending Story"* joke.

*EDIT*. *Google that shit, Hayden!

 

[CigSid]

 

[drunkfish3]

 

[drunkfish3]

Not a joke but made me laugh.

 

[Pugman1943]

When my doctor asked me if anyone in my family suffered from mental illness, I said no, we all seem to enjoy it.

 

[CigSid]

BLACK
oLIVES
MATTER
(love black olives)