Thought’s Dad Joke Thread

[Thoughts]

 

[Thoughts]

 

[CBoukal]

 

[TexasTraveler]

View attachment 34121

This took me 5 times of reading before I got it...

 

[Tall Paul]

This took me 5 times of reading before I got it...

3 times for me...

 

[Thoughts]

Oh this should be good.
What has four letters, occasionally has 12 letters, sometimes has 9 letters, but never has 5 letters...

edit: everyone is gonna get it at this point, but this is a really good one to use if you can remember it

 

[drunkfish3]

Oh this should be good.
What has four letters, occasionally has 12 letters, sometimes has 9 letters, but never has 5 letters...

I got that right away when I saw it the other day but my wife didn't get it.

 

[drunkfish3]

 

[Thoughts]

I wouldn't eat the chickens in Minecraft....
They're a little gamey....

 

[TexasTraveler]

Oh this should be good.
What has four letters, occasionally has 12 letters, sometimes has 9 letters, but never has 5 letters...

edit: everyone is gonna get it at this point, but this is a really good one to use if you can remember it

Damn it... It still took me 3 times for this one to... I'm getting better...

 

[Thoughts]

Does anyone know where kings used to keep their armies???
In their sleevies....

 

[drunkfish3]

 

[Undegreed]

How many South Americans does it take to change a light bulb?

A Brazilian.

 

[bfreebern]

What did the buffalo say to his son, when he left for college?

Bison

 

[drunkfish3]

Why did Mozart kill all of his chickens? When he asked them who the best composer was, they all replied, "Bach, Bach, Bach."


"I work with animals," the guy says to his date. "That's so sweet," she replies. "I love a man who cares about animals. Where do you work?" "I'm a butcher," he says.

 

[Thoughts]

tell me you didn’t read it in his voice.

 

[jbfurdog]

View attachment 34245
tell me you didn’t read it in his voice.

Of course, it’s the only way my mind will allow!

 

[smellysell]

View attachment 34245
tell me you didn’t read it in his voice.

All of the Tyson lisp memes crack me up. My wife never finds them nearly as amusing.

 

[Thoughts]

All of the Tyson lisp memes crack me up. My wife never finds them nearly as amusing.

Every single time I see one I crack up too

 

[drunkfish3]