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Thought’s Dad Joke Thread

My wife is part of a "movie club" with a bunch of other expat women over here. Basically, they meet up every so often for coffee/drinks and talk about a movie they have recently watched. Basically, it's a book club for the TV. My wife's turn to pick the film is up this week, and she is having a hard time coming up with something that she thinks they will all appreciate and has enough depth to foster discussion (whatever that means). I suggested "Fight Club", and she said she would think about it.

About half an hour later, my wife says, "You are an asshole. First rule of Fight Club is you don't talk about Fight Club. You're an asshole."

This is a true story, by the way. Happened earlier today.
 
kann said:
My wife is part of a "movie club" with a bunch of other expat women over here. Basically, they meet up every so often for coffee/drinks and talk about a movie they have recently watched. Basically, it's a book club for the TV. My wife's turn to pick the film is up this week, and she is having a hard time coming up with something that she thinks they will all appreciate and has enough depth to foster discussion (whatever that means). I suggested "Fight Club", and she said she would think about it.

About half an hour later, my wife says, "You are an asshole. First rule of Fight Club is you don't talk about Fight Club. You're an asshole."

This is a true story, by the way. Happened earlier today.
Click to expand...
This is a win
 
Just asked my wife what she’s “burning up for dinner” and it turned out to be all of my personal belongings

The only one of your children who does not grow up and move away is your husband.

My speech today will be like a mini-skirt. Long enough to cover the essentials but short enough to hold your attention

My wife says I never listen… or something like that

Why did the Mormon cross the road? To get to the other bride.

Fornication… [silence]… cough… Forni-… cough… FOR-AN-OCCASION, such as this, I like to start with a joke.
 
The "Mormon" one is my text JOTD to my daughter in Hawaii. I swear, if I didn't give her money, she'd block my number...
 
kann said:
My wife is part of a "movie club" with a bunch of other expat women over here. Basically, they meet up every so often for coffee/drinks and talk about a movie they have recently watched. Basically, it's a book club for the TV. My wife's turn to pick the film is up this week, and she is having a hard time coming up with something that she thinks they will all appreciate and has enough depth to foster discussion (whatever that means). I suggested "Fight Club", and she said she would think about it.

About half an hour later, my wife says, "You are an asshole. First rule of Fight Club is you don't talk about Fight Club. You're an asshole."

This is a true story, by the way. Happened earlier today.
Click to expand...

So much for 23 years asshole.
 
What is the tallest building in any city?
The library, because it has so many stories.
 
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