Thought’s Dad Joke Thread

[dawgie34203]

If you know me, you know I like being creative and often spontaneous. So last night I hung a world map in the kitchen and I handed my wife a dart. I said, "Give it a toss and where ever it lands that's where we'll spend our summer vacation." Turns out we'll be spending three weeks behind the refrigerator.

 

[Gator]

What’s the difference between a gay dude and a freezer?

A freezer doesn’t fart when you remove your meat.

 

[whopper]

PSA

 

[dawgie34203]

 

[whopper]

 

[cohibasurfer]

FK yeah!. It's going to be 111 today. I'm going to get dressed up and head down to the Senior Cooling Center and check out all the HOTTIES!

 

[CigarStone]

 

[dawgie34203]

I found a new hot tub for @SKYDIVNEKD !

 

[Scap]

I found a new hot tub for @SKYDIVNEKD !

View attachment 84043

We used to do that in 5-gallon buckets when we were little.

 

[thinde]

We used to do that in 5-gallon buckets when we were little.

Same here.......much easier to put my son in a bucket than take him to the campground showers.

 

[thinde]

Same here.......much easier to put my son in a bucket than take him to the campground showers.

He’s 28 now so no harm no foul.

 

[CigarStone]

Did you hear the one about the cannibal who passed his mother-in-law in the woods?

 

[kann]

 

[dawgie34203]

 

[Darin]

View attachment 84611

I see you went with a hole-punch rather than V-cut.

 

[CigarStone]

A Frenchman, a german man, and an Irishman walk into a bar and each order a whiskey.

When the whiskey comes there is a fly in each glass.

The Frenchman says "I can't drink that!"

The German man picks the fly out and downs the whiskey.

The Irishman grabs the fly, turns it upside down, and shakes it saying "spit it out!"

 

[CigarStone]

Little Johnny is riding his tricycle in the house. He rides into the kitchen and goes "chhhhhh" while pretending to open a door. He says "this bus is late so all you fuckers gettin off, get off, and all you fuckers gettin on, get on"

Johnny mother smacks him across the face and sends him flying into the kitchen cabinets. Johnny gets up and says "listen lady don't fuck around, I already told you this bus is late"

 

[dawgie34203]

 

[Scap]

 

[whopper]