Thought’s Dad Joke Thread

[bfreebern]

Wife texts husband on a cold
winter morning:
"Windows frozen, won't
open." Husband texts back. "Gently pour some lukewarm water over it and then gently tap
edges with hammer."
Wife texts back 10 minutes later: "Laptop
really messed up now."

Leave it to you Bill.

 

[Scap]

Why can't you hear someone with pneumonia in the bathroom?


Because the p is silent.

 

[Scap]

 

[CigSid]

 

[kann]

 

[PuffTheMagicDragon]

 

[dawgie]

 

[Scap]

 

[Scap]

Why don't vegans eat dessert?



You can't eat your pudding if you don't eat your meat!

 

[Scap]

McDonald's wanted to offer fried pickles, but McDill-dough didn't seem appropriate.

 

[CBoukal]

@cohibasurfer

 

[dawgie]

 

[CigSid]

View attachment 74617

That's funny!

 

[CigarStone]

Why don't ghosts ever get pregnant?


Because they are always messing with Hollow-wieners.

 

[kann]

Ok, so, "Frenchman's Cumsock" needs to be a term that is used more around here.

 

[TexasTraveler]

View attachment 74816

Ok, so, "Frenchman's Cumsock" needs to be a term that is used more around here.

I love chess... Even if I am not that good. I have learned a few tricks, but once those are foiled, its a scramble... LOL

 

[CigSid]

View attachment 74816

Ok, so, "Frenchman's Cumsock" needs to be a term that is used more around here.

Cum Sock Gambit
A type of gambit in chess where you sacrifice your king to then have your queen go through gender reassignment surgery to become a better, stronger king.
Chess player 1: “I have your king in checkmate”
Chess player 2: “Have you ever heard of… the Cum Sock Gambit?… checkmate bitch”

 

[dawgie]

"Frenchman's Cumsock"

terrible name for a cigar…

 

[CigSid]

terrible name for a cigar…

Definitely not Cuban

 

[Scap]