Thought’s Dad Joke Thread

[CigarStone]

I'm glad to see that Eileen is still okay.

She's a bit heavy to be Irene

 

[Thoughts]

What do you call a girl on a swing with no arms?

Sarah

Knock knock
Who’s there?
Well, it’s not fuckin Sarah

 

[PuffTheMagicDragon]

 

[drunkfish3]

A vegan and a vegetarian are jumping off a cliff to see who hits the bottom first.

Who wins?




Society!!!!

 

[kann]

My wife is a vegetarian. I kinda like her.

(I also kinda want to push her off a cliff sometimes, too... as she does me, I'm sure)

 

[bfreebern]

View attachment 71864

I'll warm her up.

 

[CigarStone]

I'll warm her up.

She would still be cold by the time you're done.

 

[kann]

 

[Scap]

View attachment 72366

McGuire twins hold that record from way back in '78.

 

[dawgie34203]

 

[dawgie34203]

 

[CigarStone]

View attachment 71864

If I saw her at HD I would try to find something with a hook that I could put in my cart and accidentally snag her top down.

I know, I know, I am an ass, she is someones daughter!

 

[CBoukal]

 

[kann]

Q: Why did the semen cross the road?

A: Because I put the wrong socks on this morning...

 

[PaulTra]

Q: Why did the semen cross the road?

A: Because I put the wrong socks on this morning...

Socks? More like Sock....

 

[CigarStone]

Socks? More like Sock....

Maybe he's like the Mexican who had two penises? He named one Jos`e and the other hose B.

 

[dawgie34203]

A guy walks into a pet store. “You got any bees?“ The pet store owner says “sure, how many do you want?“ The guy says “give me a dozen bees.“

The owner lines up 13 bees on the counter and counts them out.“Here you go, that should be all of them.“ The guy looks at the counter and says, “no, I want 12 bees, what’s this extra one?” Pet shop owner says…








…“that’s a freebee.”

 

[kann]

Maybe he's like the Mexican who had two penises? He named one Jos`e and the other hose B.

I do believe Brother Trahan was making an amputee joke, Jeffery.

 

[CigarStone]

I do believe Brother Trahan was making an amputee joke, Jeffery.

I know but I wanted to take it in a slightly more perverted direction.

 

[bfreebern]

I used to be in a band called "The Hinges"

We opened for “The Doors.”