Thought’s Dad Joke Thread

[Scap]

 

[Aalvord2]

As a new father of twin boys (born December 4th, 2022) I already find great value in this thread, and want to thank you all for this!!!

 

[CBoukal]

Not a dad joke, but still funny

 

[Pugman1943]

With twin boys, Aalvord2 needs to join Superman for a drink and a smoke. Bless you brother.

 

[MaytagMan]

My son is 12, and I know a dad joke is golden when I tell it and he just looks at me, rolls his eyes, and says "I hate you"

 

[cohibasurfer]

 

[Pugman1943]

View attachment 67742

Thanks for not using my name in vain.

 

[cohibasurfer]

Thanks for not using my name in vain.

It takes to long to spell ... Ed.

 

[CigarStone]

It takes to long to spell ... Ed.

It's Ed, not ED.

 

[Pugman1943]

Both Maytag man and myself agreed that we don't know our real names anymore.

 

[MaytagMan]

Both Maytag man and myself agreed that we don't know our real names anymore.

True indeed.

 

[kann]

Q: What's the difference between a piano, a tuna, and a pot of glue?

A: You can tune a piano, but you can't piano a tuna.

 

[CBoukal]

 

[Pugman1943]

I double dare you to give this to your wife, or, any of our wives. Not if you like your dingle.

 

[CigarStone]

I don't understand why this is in the joke thread?

 

[kann]

What has four letters, occasionally has twelve letters, always has six letters, but never has five letters.

 

[CigarStone]

What has six balls and fucks you?

The lottery

 

[CigarStone]

A man and his wife took his wife's mother on a vacation to the holy land. On the second day the man's mother in law died.

The undertaker said "We can ship your mother in law home for $5000 of we can bury her here in the holy land for $150"

The man said he would ship her home, to which the undertaker said "why would you spend $5000 to ship her home when we can bury her in the holy land for $150?"

The man said "some 2000 years ago, a man died here and three days later he arose from the dead ....I just can't take that chance"

 

[Scap]

 

[Le Primauguet]

Where do bad rainbows go?

Prism. It's a light sentence and gives them time to reflect.