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Viejo paso de los miembros

Roy R. Frush said:
After clearing the air yesterday about my real intentions with my absurd posts, I had an opportunity to chat with Devin personally. He informed me that he was quite amused by the stunt I pulled, and then floored me when he asked if I’d be interested in joining this pass. I thought to myself, “I have no business participating in a pass with such distinguished folks. All of the participants are some of the earliest members here, and have known one another for years. Wait a minute, he must be setting me up for a joke of his own”! After he assured me that he was being absolutely sincere, with much trepidation, I meekly accepted his most generous invitation.

Imagine my surprise this morning when the FedEx man delivered a package from him! I certainly wasn’t expecting the pass to begin so soon. What an impressive sight to behold! I’m happy to report that the cigars arrived in excellent shape, and all are accounted for. There was one thing I noticed; the cigars in bags 17 and 18 were switched. I swapped them back, and now everything is in order.

Having cigars of this rarity and value in my possession does make me a bit uncomfortable. As such, I’d like to move the pass out of my hands as soon as possible. Without further ado, here are my proposed Puts/Takes:

Takes
2. Dunhill Estupendos '85
5. Don Candido No. 502 70's
15. Davidoff Haut-Brion '85

Puts
26. Joya de Nica Antano Belicoso '70
27. Torano Exodus Toro '59
28. RP Vintage Churchill '92
29. Padron No. 35 '26

If there are no objections to my P/T, I will have this packaged up, along with an updated inventory list, and sent on to Kenny today.

A heartfelt “Thank You” to Devin for allowing me to participate in this most amazing pass! And to be first in line, no less! This was a “once in a lifetime” event for me, and I’ll certainly never forget it.
Click to expand...

:sign: :sign: :sign:

Nice of you to toss in the '26 Padron!
 
A girl goes to the doctor for a check up. After having her sit on the exam table, he pulls out his stethascope, hold's it to her chest and says, " Big Breaths".

The girls responds, "Thankth, and I'm only 12 yearth old!"

:whistling:
 
okay... couple more. can't compete with Frush's tho! ;)

A man goes into a greasy spoon restaurant and orders a bowl of chicken soup. "What's this?!?!?" he screams! "There's a pussy hair in my soup! I'm not payin' for it!" and he storms out... The waitress gets very upset at this and follows him out and sees him go to the whorehouse across the street. He pays the madam and retires to a room with a lovely blonde and goes down on her with gusto. The waitress bursts in and says, "You complain about a hair in your soup and then come over here and do THIS!???" the waitress yells. He lifts his head, turns to her and says, "Yeah!... and if I find a noodle in here, I ain't payin' for it EITHER!!!!!"
 
I was walking in the park one bright sunny Sunday afternoon, when I noticed a cute little girl out walking her dog. As she approached me on the path, she looked about 9 years old, all dressed up in her Sunday best, and her freshly scrubbed face, just gleaming with cutsiness. Tugging on her leash was a well groomed terrier.

As we met on the path, I greeted her, "Hi there, my, aren't you pretty today and what a fine looking dog you have."

"Thank you, sir" she said, "And what a nice day this is isn't it?"

"Yes it is" I answered, "My, what a polite little girl you are, and what a pretty dress you're wearing."

"Oh, thank you, sir. My mother taught me to always be polite and she made this dress for me, isn't it pretty?" she said with a beaming smile.

"Yes, very pretty" I answered, "By the way, what's your dog's name?"

"Oh, sir, my dog's name is 'Porky', isn't that cute?"

"Well, it certainly is an unusual name for a dog. Why do you call him 'Porky'?" "Because he fucks pigs!"
 
Guy takes his wife to the Doctor...

The Doc says, "Well, it's either Alzheimers disease or AIDS."

"What do you mean?" The guy says, "You can't tell the difference?" "Yeah, the two look a lot alike in the early stages... Tell you what.. Drive her way out into the country, kick her out of the car, and if she finds her way back, don't fuck her."
 
I know I said "last joke" a few pages back but my wife just sent me one that I have to post. I pretty sure this is a true story....... :laugh:



Mujibar was trying to get a job in India .
The Personnel Manager said,

"Mujibar, you have passed all the tests, except one. Unless you pass it, you cannot qualify for this job."

Mujibar said, "I am ready."

The manager said, "Make a sentence using the words Yellow, Pink, and Green"

Mujibar thought for a few minutes and said, "Mister Manager, I am ready."

The manager said, "Go ahead."

Mujibar said, "The telephone goes green, green, green, and I pink it up, and say, 'Yellow, this is Mujibar.'"

Mujibar now works as a customer service person. No doubt you have spoken to him.
 
Jim goes to the doctor and says "Doc I'm having trouble getting my penis erect, can you help me?"
After a complete exam the doctor tells Jim, "Well the muscles around the base of your penis are damaged. There's really nothing I can do for you unless you are willing to try an experimental new treatment." Jim hesitantly asked, "And what would that be?"
"Well, what we can do is take the muscles from the trunk of an elephant and implant them in your penis."
Jim thinks about it and then says, "Well I would rather have this done than go through life without ever having sex again so, let's do it."
Jim had the operation, and after a long period of recovery he went to the doctor for the go ahead to test his new equipment. Following the exam the Doc pronunced him ready for some action.
Eager to use his new enhanced equipment, Jim planned a nice evening for he and his girlfriend at one of the fanciest reatraunts in town, anticipating an awesome conclusion for the evening.
In the middle of dinner he felt a stirring between his legs that increased to the point of being painful. So, to release the pressure Jim unzipped his fly and placed a napkin over it. His penis immediately sprung from his pants, flipped the napkin aside, went to the top of the table, grabbed a bread roll and then returned to his pants!
His girlfriend was shocked at first but then, started to think of the possibilites. With a grin on her face she said, "That was pretty awesome, can you do it again?"
Jim groaned, "Probably, but I don't think I can fit another roll in my ass."
 
Subject: A Hearing Problem!

During a revival the last week in November in Cheneyville, a
little town between Bunkie and Alexandria on Highway 7l,
an evangelist was bringing the service to an end.

As people were standing in line waiting to tell him their personal
problems, he asked each individual what they really needed.

When T-Coon was asked, he replied, "Mais, Ah want you to pray dat
mah hearing gonna be real good. Dat's all Ah ask - dat mah hearing
gonna turn out all right."

The evangelist took his finger, put it in T-Coon's ear,
raised his other hand in the air and looked up to start his prayer of
healing. Noticing that the expression changed on T-Coon's face, the
evangelist - thinking a miracle had already happened - asked,
"Mister, how's your hearing?"

T-Coon looked around at the curious onlookers and said, "Ah don't
know, it ain't till next Tuesday in Courthouse !"
 
One sunny day in 2008, an old man approached the White

House from across Pennsylvania Avenue, where he'd

been sitting on a park bench.


He spoke to the Marine standing guard and said, "I

would like to go in and meet with

President Hillary Clinton."


The Marine replied, "Sir, Mrs. Clinton is not

President and doesn't reside here."

The old man said, "Okay," and walked away.


The following day, the same man approached the White

House and said to

the same Marine, "I would like to go in and meet with

President Hillary Clinton".


The Marine again told the man, "Sir, as I said

yesterday, Mrs. Clinton is not

President and doesn't reside here."

The man thanked him and again walked away . . .


The third day, the same man approached the White House

and spoke to the very same Marine, saying "I would

like to go in and meet with President Hillary

Clinton."


The Marine, understandably agitated at this point,

looked at the man and said,

"Sir, this is the third day in a row you have been

here asking to speak to Mrs. Clinton.

I've told you already several times that Mrs. Clinton

is not the President and doesn't

reside here. Don't you understand?"



The old man answered, "Oh, I understand you fine, I

just love hearing your answer!"

The Marine snapped to attention, saluted, and said,

"See you tomorrow."


:thumbs:
 
A man was having problems with premature ejaculation so he decided
to go to the doctor. He asked the doctor what could he do to cure his
problem...

In response the doctor said, "When you feel like you are getting
ready to ejaculate try startling yourself". That same day the man
went to the store and bought himself a starter pistol. All excited to try
this suggestion out he runs home to his wife.

At home his wife is in bed, naked and waiting on her husband. As the
two begin, they find themselves in the '69' position. The man,
moments later, feels the sudden urge to come and fires the starter
pistol.

The next day, the man went back to the doctor. The doctor asked,
"How did it go?". The man answered, "Not that well...when I fired
the pistol my wife shit on my face, bit 3 inches off my penis and my
neighbor came out of the closet with his hands in the air!"
 
A small zoo in West Virginia obtained a gorilla of a very rare
species. Within a few weeks the gorilla, a female, became very
difficult to handle.

Upon examination, the veterinarian determined the problem.
The gorilla was in season. To make matters worse, there was no male
gorilla available.

Thinking about their problem, the Zoo Keeper thought of Bubba
Lee Walton, a redneck part-time worker responsible for cleaning
the animal cages

Bubba Lee, like most rednecks, had little sense but possessed ample
ability to satisfy a female of any species. The Zoo keeper thought
they might have a solution. Bubba Lee was approached with a
proposition.

Would he be willing to mate with the gorilla for $500.00?
Bubba Lee showed some interest, but said he would have to
think the matter over carefully.

The following day, he announced that he would accept their offer,
but only under four conditions.

"First", Bubba Lee said, "I ain't gonna kiss her on the lips."
The keeper quickly agreed to this condition.

"Second", he said, "You can't never tell no one about this. "
The keeper again readily agreed to this condition.

"Third", Bubba Lee said, "I want all the children raised
Southern Baptist." Once again it was agreed.

And last of all, Bubba Lee stated "You got to give me
another week to come up with the $500.00."
 
Two men had been camping in the mountains for a couple of weeks and were starting to get on each others nerves. One morning one friend says to the other, "You know we are starting to get testy with each other. Why don't we split up, you go North and I will go South and spend the day exploring. Then tonight we can have dinner and share our day over the campfire."
They both agree and then go their seperate ways.
That night at the fire the first man tells his story:
"Today I hiked into a beautiful valley. I followed a stream up into a canyon and had lunch. Then I went for a swim in a mountain lake. As I sat out and dried, I watched wild animals come and drink from the stream. The wildflowers were filled with butterflies and birds floated overhead. How was your day?"

The second friend said, "I went South and ran across a set of railroad tracks. I followed them until I came across a beautiful woman tied to the tracks. I cut the ropes off, gently lifted her off the tracks, and I had sex with her in every imaginable way all afternoon. Finally when I was so tired I could barely move, I came back to camp."

"Wow!" The first guy exclaimed, "Your day was much better than mine. Did you get a blow job too?"

"Nah" says the second friend, "I couldn't find her head anywhere."
 
Since his wedding night, Bill Gates wife finally new why he called his company..... "Microsoft."
 
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