• Hi Guest - Sign up now for Secret Santa 2024!
    Click here to sign up!
  • Hi Guest - Come check out all of the new CP Merch Shop! Now you can support CigarPass buy purchasing hats, apparel, and more...
    Click here to visit! here...

Thought’s Dad Joke Thread

I think, I'm going to lose my drivers license... 😭😭😭😭😭😢😢😢😢
and all just because of a stupid police officer... The conversation went like this, when I got pulled over in my car:

Officer: "License and registration, please, I think you are drunk!"

Me: "I assure you, I did not drink anything."

Officer: "Ok, let's do a little test! Imagine driving in the dark on a highway at night, when you see two lights in the distance. What is this?"

Me: "A car."

Officer:"Of course! But which one? A Mercedes, an Audi or a Ford?"

Me:"I have no idea!"

Officer:"So, you're drunk."

Me:"But I didn't drink anything."

Officer:"Okay, one more test -- Imagine, you drive in the dark on a highway at night, and there is one light coming at you.What is it?

Me:"A motorcycle."

Officer:"Of course! But which one? A Honda, a Kawasaki or a Harley?"

Me:"I have no idea!"

Officer:"As I suspected, you're drunk!"

Then I started to get annoyed and asked a counter question.

Me:"So..., counter question -- You're driving in the dark on a highway at night and see a woman on the roadside. She wears a mini skirt, fishnet stockings, high heeled shoes and only a bra as a top. What is this?"

Officer:"A prostitute of course."

Me:"Yes, but which one? Your daughter, your wife or your mother?"

Things went downhill from there and now I have a court date to attend...
 
I went to an antique store - Sears...

I went to KFC today to have 12 pieces of chicken because it's always been on my bucket list...

Is it true that in Jesus' high school yearbook he was voted "Most Likely To Come Back"?

I've recently read the book "Prostate from A-Z" twice - I still can't pass P...

The city of Omaha recently enacted legislation charging $400 to anyone assisted by the fire department after they've fallen - which has prompted Life Alert's new slogan - "Help! I've fallen and can't afford to get back up!"
 
Last edited:
I went camping with my kids last week. It was so stressful, rained the whole time, ran out of food and got chased by a bear. I couldn't even get comfortable enough to sleep.

Next time we go camping I'm taking the trailer. That trip we just took was in-tents.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top