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The great newbie wars of "05

JOE.M. said:
*SECOND Side note - As a few have figured out and PMed me {none with a BRIBE!!} I have every addy in need! I have been the Secret Santa host for 3 years! You need I got! But it will cost ya Biiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiig! :cool:

Muahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!! Freakin' rookies!!
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Nice mooch attempt PB :laugh:
 
General Preembargo, reports show that there was direct hit of the FOG camp yesterday at 10:40 a.m. :thumbs: Do not allow their silence to fool us, I believe they are wounded.

Viva la Revolucion!


:cool:
 
A small, but suspiciously vibrating package, was found on the front porch last night upon my return from work. Working in the calm silence of my midnight neighborhood, I improvised a HAZMAT handling device (chopsticks, bubble gum and duct tape; plans on request) and successfully moved the box to my defusing chamber.

Successfully extracted the detonator, only to be surprised by a second, hidden device: PEANUTS!!!
Aaarggh! When the styrofoam cleared, there was a very nice selection of sticks from a newbie neighbor. Well done, soldier!! A valiant effort, but I remain unscathed. The carpet's another story. :(

Since we're doing sidenotes: you may have noticed your fearless leader's absence from the board? I'm sure it's due to his recent encounter with a package from Deseret. :sign: :sign: :sign:
 
-----Original Message-----
From: BREAKING NEWS [mailto:breakingnews@foxnews.com]
Sent: Friday, April 08, 2005 2:33 AM
To: BREAKINGNEWS Subscribers
Subject: FNC Alert

Unprecedented attack on General Preembargo's primary residence reported. "Anonymous" bomber detonates Daisy Cutter over compound.

Sources tell Fox that there are no injuries but the compound has sustained heavy damage. General Preembargo and his family and staff were not at the compound at the time of the blast. It has been widely reported that the first family had taken up residence in the Executive Bunker at the beginning of hostilities. When asked for a statement the General replied "I'm still a little 'FOGgy', give me a minute."

ph24.jpg

AP photo

**Watch FOX News Channel or go to http://foxnews.com for more

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My condolences, General. That news report was a work of pure genius. My props to the author!
 
Ah, my condolences on the damage to your compound, "General". I trust your homeowners insurance will cover the damages. Those to your reputation, however....
well, I suppose you'll have to deal with that.


As to those of you who thought I was gone, SURPRISE!!

Further information will be released shortly, as your "General" has been informed of new developments. :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

For now, I remain


MERCILESS
 
-----Original Message-----
From: BREAKING NEWS [mailto:breakingnews@SkyNews.com]
Sent: Friday, April 08, 2005 3:38 PM
To: SkyNews Subscribers
Subject: Breaking News Alert

From the Office of Newbland Security.

Newly declassified intelligence reports indicate that the infamous maurader known as Merciless, aka, "Sandy, UT bomber" is using a drop point in Utah to mask his true base of operations. The report states that forensic evidence found at General Preembargo's compound suggests that the rogue may be headquartered somewhere in Northern Arizona.

=================================================
Copyright 2005 Newbie News Network, LLC. 6917 Avenue of the Newbies. Newbie York. NY. All Rights Reserved For Newbies Only.
=================================================
 
Newly declassified intelligence reports indicate that the infamous maurader known as Merciless, aka, "Sandy, UT bomber" is using a drop point in Utah to mask his true base of operations. The report states that forensic evidence found at General Preembargo's compound suggests that the rogue may be headquartered somewhere in Northern Arizona.
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iiiiiiiinteresting ...... ???

:cool:
 
Someone had the temerity to scratch my mailbox.

Revenge is mine saith the Lord and I am his devine instrument on Earth. Blood shall flow like the streams that feed the ocean, the ice shall melt from the heat of my wrath. Quake now and make your peace fore the end is near. Your land shall become the newest lake in the land of 10,000.
 
AVB said:
Someone had the temerity to scratch my mailbox.

Revenge is mine saith the Lord and I am his devine instrument on Earth. Blood shall flow like the streams that feed the ocean, the ice shall melt from the heat of my wrath. Quake now and make your peace fore the end is near. Your land shall become the newest lake in the land of 10,000.
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Ok, I admit,......it was me....... :whistling:




















What the hell, Im running out of ammo here....lol ;)
 
I see the bomb has landed. Good. I saw it on the news:

Your item was delivered at 1:30 pm on April 08, 2005 in STEWARTSTOWN, PA 17363.



Whahahahahaha!
 
AVB said:
Someone had the temerity to scratch my mailbox.

Revenge is mine saith the Lord and I am his devine instrument on Earth. Blood shall flow like the streams that feed the ocean, the ice shall melt from the heat of my wrath. Quake now and make your peace fore the end is near. Your land shall become the newest lake in the land of 10,000.
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"The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness, for he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know my name is the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon you."
 
Oh, and it's a scratch I see. I thought I heard the explosion from here, and saw the splinters falling like rain.
 
It was like a Ladyfinger in a tin can, lots of noise but not much damage. :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
 
This whole thread reminds me of my favorite song. One that I try to post as often as possible but there aren't too many circumstances that it fits. This is one.

Whoever we are
Wherever we’re from
We shoulda noticed by now
Our behavior is dumb
And if our chances
Expect to improve
It’s gonna take a lot more
Than tryin’ to remove
The other race
Or the other whatever
From the face
Of the planet altogether

They call it the earth
Which is a dumb kinda name
But they named it right
’cause we behave the same...
We are dumb all over
Dumb all over,
Yes we are
Dumb all over,
Near ’n far
Dumb all over,
Black ’n white
People, we is not wrapped tight

Nurds on the left
Nurds on the right
Religous fanatics
On the air every night
Sayin’ the bible
Tells the story
Makes the details
Sound real gory
’bout what to do
If the geeks over there
Don’t believe in the book
We got over here

You can’t run a race
Without no feet
’n pretty soon
There won’t be no street
For dummies to jog on
Or doggies to dog on
Religous fanatics
Can make it be all gone
(I mean it won’t blow up
’n disappear
It’ll just look ugly
For a thousand years...)

You can’t run a country
By a book of religion
Not by a heap
Or a lump or a smidgeon
Of foolish rules
Of ancient date
Designed to make
You all feel great
While you fold, spindle
And mutilate
Those unbelievers
From a neighboring state

To arms! to arms!
Hooray! that’s great
Two legs ain’t bad
Unless there’s a crate
They ship the parts
To mama in
For souvenirs: two ears (get down!)
Not his, not hers, (but what the hey? )
The good book says:
(it gotta be that way!)
But their book says:
Revenge the crusades...
With whips ’n chains
’n hand grenades...
Two arms? two arms?
Have another and another
Our God says:
There ain’t no other!
Our God says
It’s all okay!
Our God says
This is the way!

It says in the book:
Burn ’n destroy...
’n repent, ’n redeem
’n revenge, ’n deploy
’n rumble thee forth
To the land of the unbelieving scum on the other side
’cause they don’t go for what’s in the book
’n that makes ’em bad
So verily we must choppeth them up
And stompeth them down
Or rent a nice french bomb
To poof them out of existance
While leaving their real estate just where we need it
To use again
For temples in which to praise our god
(cause he can really take care of business!)

And when his humble tv servant
With humble white hair
And humble glasses
And a nice brown suit
And maybe a blond wife who takes phone calls
Tells us our God says
It’s okay to do this stuff
Then we gotta do it,
’cause if we don’t do it,
We ain’t gwine up to hebbin!
(depending on which book you’re using at the
Time...can’t use theirs... it don’t work
...it’s all lies...gotta use mine...)
Ain’t that right?
That’s what they say
Every night...
Every day...
Hey, we can’t really be dumb
If we’re just following god’s orders
Hey, let’s get serious...
God knows what he’s doin’
He wrote this book here
An’ the book says:
He made us all to be just like him,
So...
If we’re dumb...
Then God is dumb...
(an’ maybe even a little ugly on the side)


Now imagine that with blistering Zappa guitar work over it. :thumbs:
 
The hits just keep booming on...

I leave to pick up my loving, neutral to the bombings wife at the airport. Upon our arrival home, I failed to see the boxes at our doorstep- 3 to be exact! Since they would not fit into the mailbox, Chad left them at our door- poor guy must be suffering from PTSD from the last round of explosions, otherwise he would not have left them in the open like that. So I'm getting her luggage out and I barely hear 'Hey Jim- there's a couple of boxes for you here'

I dropped the luggage, hurdled it better than OJ running from the cops, and shoved her away from the door (sadly into the mud puddle) just in time as Boom BOOM KA-BOOM

I awoke some time later, with a bruised and muddy Mary asking 'Why.. WHY would someone do this??'

Why indeed... :whistling:
Sadly, unbeknownest to her, she was carrying munnitions back with her from New Orleans... so keep looking over your shoulder, under your car, and in your mailbox... you know who you are (and so do I...)
 
Swissy said:
The hits just keep booming on...

I leave to pick up my loving, neutral to the bombings wife at the airport. Upon our arrival home, I failed to see the boxes at our doorstep- 3 to be exact! Since they would not fit into the mailbox, Chad left them at our door- poor guy must be suffering from PTSD from the last round of explosions, otherwise he would not have left them in the open like that. So I'm getting her luggage out and I barely hear 'Hey Jim- there's a couple of boxes for you here'

I dropped the luggage, hurdled it better than OJ running from the cops, and shoved her away from the door (sadly into the mud puddle) just in time as Boom BOOM KA-BOOM

I awoke some time later, with a bruised and muddy Mary asking 'Why.. WHY would someone do this??'

Why indeed... :whistling:
Sadly, unbeknownest to her, she was carrying munnitions back with her from New Orleans... so keep looking over your shoulder, under your car, and in your mailbox... you know who you are (and so do I...)
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Wow, Swissy!
I am very,very sorry to hear of your misfortune. How someone could do such a dastardly deed to a newbie of your stature is just apalling, and un-called for.

I will keep you in my prayers lad, and hope that you find the scoundrels and exact your wrath upon them.
Keep up the good fight.

Sincerely, (Almost anyway) :whistling:

Bomber X
 
camaroon4me said:
Wow, Swissy!
I am very,very sorry to hear of your misfortune. How someone could do such a dastardly deed to a newbie of your stature is just apalling, and un-called for.

I will keep you in my prayers lad, and hope that you find the scoundrels and exact your wrath upon them.
Keep up the good fight.

Sincerely, (Almost anyway) :whistling:

Bomber X
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And uh.. your zip code would be WHAT?? I thought so... :laugh:
 
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