Jonathan, I'm burning a small pinch of Christmas Cookie for you.
A part of me is angry. It's a damn fool thing you've done. You had to have known the sorrow your actions would cause many others. As a person who's battled mental pain before I know those feelings of depression, hopelessness, and dark, dark places. I know how powerful the mind and heart can be. I had to seek help from many great people to get better. I'm angry that you couldn't or wouldn't. But mostly I'm sad. Sad that a great guy I knew is now gone. Sad that you were in such a painful place that you felt this was the only way out. Sad that you didn't ask for help here on CP, a group you knew would offer support and help, as this thread is showing. If there is a silver lining to this I hope those that read this and are battling their own demons see that while things may seem hopeless and you can't find your way out, please, PLEASE reach out. To your family, your friends, maybe even a nice stranger. You might be amazed how compassionate and understanding some people can be.
Rest in peace, Jonathan. I hope you have found the peace you were looking for.