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Souldog sad news

Woke up today hoping this was not real. Im still up and down. My anger my sadness. I know I haven't accepted this yet .
 
beyond the band said:
Woke up today hoping this was not real. Im still up and down. My anger my sadness. I know I haven't accepted this yet .
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Denial, anger, sadness, It's all part of the mourning process. I'd be worried if you weren't feeling those things.
 
Doc
 
I haven't been on here in a long time, but just wanted to stop in and say goodbye.
 
RIP SoulDog. I hope you are at ease my friend.
 
The Black Cloud said:
Jonathan, I'm burning a small pinch of Christmas Cookie for you.
 
A part of me is angry.  It's a damn fool thing you've done.  You had to have known the sorrow your actions would cause many others.  As a person who's battled mental pain before I know those feelings of depression, hopelessness, and dark, dark places.  I know how powerful the mind and heart can be.  I had to seek help from many great people to get better.  I'm angry that you couldn't or wouldn't.  But mostly I'm sad.  Sad that a great guy I knew is now gone.  Sad that you were in such a painful place that you felt this was the only way out.  Sad that you didn't ask for help here on CP, a group you knew would offer support and help, as this thread is showing.  If there is a silver lining to this I hope those that read this and are battling their own demons see that while things may seem hopeless and you can't find your way out, please, PLEASE reach out.  To your family, your friends, maybe even a nice stranger.  You might be amazed how compassionate and understanding some people can be.
 
Rest in peace, Jonathan.  I hope you have found the peace you were looking for.
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Thank you for expressing my emotions (and probably the emotions of lots of others) perfectly.  First horror, then disbelief, then sadness, then anger and frustration.  I, and I suspect lots of other guys here, would have gotten on a plane today if I'd have known where he was at, what he was facing.....
 
Its been said many times already, but I can't believe this news either.  I never had the chance to interact with or meet him, but just through his interactions on here and reading his contributions to the community and other members speaks volumes of the type of brother he was.
 
I will definitely be firing up a stick in his memory tonight.
 
Here's to Jon.
 
Gonz said:
This is just fricken awful.  He is one of the few from here I actually met and enjoyed a cigar with, and we shared some other mutual interests beyond cigars.  I will miss him.
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Same here, Andy.  That was one of the cool things about Jon.  He had many different things he was passionate about.  Music, fitness, comics, community service, family.  He was so easy to talk with.  We developed a good relationship in KC.  In fact, whenever the Padron event would get posted, I would always keep an eye on whether or not Jon was going.  Because if he was, so was I. 
 
[SIZE=medium]Ok, this might be a rambling mess, but I need to get some things out and I know that you guys will understand a lot of what I’m saying.   I miss my friend.   In 2008 Jon and I joined CP at roughly the exact same time.   I remember thinking after a few months, who in the hell is this brash, attention seeking post whore.   But at the same time I was oddly drawn to him.  During the newbie war that year Jon, myself and Josh (napa_smokes) formed a fast friendship.   Since that time Jon and I have been teased about our “bromance”, “relationship”, blah, blah, blah.   He has stayed in my house, had dinner at my table, and played with my kids.   I’ll never forget Jon coming to my house, and at the time my daughter was two and half.   She wanted Jon to have a tea party with her.  He did without question.  For those of you that met him in person, you can just imagine how ridiculous it was to see his large frame sitting cross legged on the floor having “tea” with a tiny little girl. Anytime I talked to Jon, his first question was almost always, “how are you kids”?[/SIZE]
 
[SIZE=medium]Over the past few years Jon dropped off the boards at CP, but I was one of the fortune people he stayed in contact with regularly.  We’ve had so many conversations about everything.  Comic books, cigars, beer, music, tv shows, movies, people, relationships, and the list could go on forever.  When I went through my divorce, Jon was one of the people I leaned on heavily.    We talked daily at times, weekly, but usually never more than 2 weeks without touching base.   Sometimes it would be 3-4 texts messages, other times the conversation took up a whole day.   Plenty of times I would call Jon on my way home from work just to see what was up since I had 15 minutes.   An hour later I was still sitting in my driveway laughing with my friend.  We shared many laughs. We also made each other so mad that we would swear we would never talk to the other one again.  Then a week or so later I would get a text that said “Bro, haven’t heard from you, are you mad at me?”, and that would be the end of it because we would pick right back up like nothing happened.   These are the times I choose to remember today. [/SIZE]
 
[SIZE=medium]Jon battled demons at times in his life.  He went through ups and downs.  We all do.  I wish beyond anything this didn’t happen.  I wish I could have done something.   I wish I had known he was at this point.   My heart hurts.  My head hurts.  I’m sad.  I’ve cried.  I’m mad.  I’ve yelled at no one and nothing.  I’m disappointed.  I shake my head confused.  Most of all I miss him, and I will.  I will miss him every time I see a comic book or comic movie.  I will every time I sit down with a cigar.  I will every time I see a cop car drive by.   I will sometimes just because.  [/SIZE]
 
[SIZE=medium]Thank you for letting me vent, and thanks to those of you that have reached out to me.  [/SIZE]
 
Bsneed51 said:
[SIZE=medium]Ok, this might be a rambling mess, but I need to get some things out and I know that you guys will understand a lot of what I’m saying.   I miss my friend.   In 2008 Jon and I joined CP at roughly the exact same time.   I remember thinking after a few months, who in the hell is this brash, attention seeking post whore.   But at the same time I was oddly drawn to him.  During the newbie war that year Jon, myself and Josh (napa_smokes) formed a fast friendship.   Since that time Jon and I have been teased about our “bromance”, “relationship”, blah, blah, blah.   He has stayed in my house, had dinner at my table, and played with my kids.   I’ll never forget Jon coming to my house, and at the time my daughter was two and half.   She wanted Jon to have a tea party with her.  He did without question.  For those of you that met him in person, you can just imagine how ridiculous it was to see his large frame sitting cross legged on the floor having “tea” with a tiny little girl. Anytime I talked to Jon, his first question was almost always, “how are you kids”?[/SIZE]
 
[SIZE=medium]Over the past few years Jon dropped off the boards at CP, but I was one of the fortune people he stayed in contact with regularly.  We’ve had so many conversations about everything.  Comic books, cigars, beer, music, tv shows, movies, people, relationships, and the list could go on forever.  When I went through my divorce, Jon was one of the people I leaned on heavily.    We talked daily at times, weekly, but usually never more than 2 weeks without touching base.   Sometimes it would be 3-4 texts messages, other times the conversation took up a whole day.   Plenty of times I would call Jon on my way home from work just to see what was up since I had 15 minutes.   An hour later I was still sitting in my driveway laughing with my friend.  We shared many laughs. We also made each other so mad that we would swear we would never talk to the other one again.  Then a week or so later I would get a text that said “Bro, haven’t heard from you, are you mad at me?”, and that would be the end of it because we would pick right back up like nothing happened.   These are the times I choose to remember today. [/SIZE]
 
[SIZE=medium]Jon battled demons at times in his life.  He went through ups and downs.  We all do.  I wish beyond anything this didn’t happen.  I wish I could have done something.   I wish I had known he was at this point.   My heart hurts.  My head hurts.  I’m sad.  I’ve cried.  I’m mad.  I’ve yelled at no one and nothing.  I’m disappointed.  I shake my head confused.  Most of all I miss him, and I will.  I will miss him every time I see a comic book or comic movie.  I will every time I sit down with a cigar.  I will every time I see a cop car drive by.   I will sometimes just because.  [/SIZE]
 
[SIZE=medium]Thank you for letting me vent, and thanks to those of you that have reached out to me.  [/SIZE]
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Damn.  This has me here at my desk wiping my eyes.
 
Beautifully written and touching. 
 
bluue13 said:
 
[SIZE=medium]Ok, this might be a rambling mess, but I need to get some things out and I know that you guys will understand a lot of what I’m saying.   I miss my friend.   In 2008 Jon and I joined CP at roughly the exact same time.   I remember thinking after a few months, who in the hell is this brash, attention seeking post whore.   But at the same time I was oddly drawn to him.  During the newbie war that year Jon, myself and Josh (napa_smokes) formed a fast friendship.   Since that time Jon and I have been teased about our “bromance”, “relationship”, blah, blah, blah.   He has stayed in my house, had dinner at my table, and played with my kids.   I’ll never forget Jon coming to my house, and at the time my daughter was two and half.   She wanted Jon to have a tea party with her.  He did without question.  For those of you that met him in person, you can just imagine how ridiculous it was to see his large frame sitting cross legged on the floor having “tea” with a tiny little girl. Anytime I talked to Jon, his first question was almost always, “how are you kids”?[/SIZE]
 
[SIZE=medium]Over the past few years Jon dropped off the boards at CP, but I was one of the fortune people he stayed in contact with regularly.  We’ve had so many conversations about everything.  Comic books, cigars, beer, music, tv shows, movies, people, relationships, and the list could go on forever.  When I went through my divorce, Jon was one of the people I leaned on heavily.    We talked daily at times, weekly, but usually never more than 2 weeks without touching base.   Sometimes it would be 3-4 texts messages, other times the conversation took up a whole day.   Plenty of times I would call Jon on my way home from work just to see what was up since I had 15 minutes.   An hour later I was still sitting in my driveway laughing with my friend.  We shared many laughs. We also made each other so mad that we would swear we would never talk to the other one again.  Then a week or so later I would get a text that said “Bro, haven’t heard from you, are you mad at me?”, and that would be the end of it because we would pick right back up like nothing happened.   These are the times I choose to remember today. [/SIZE]
 
[SIZE=medium]Jon battled demons at times in his life.  He went through ups and downs.  We all do.  I wish beyond anything this didn’t happen.  I wish I could have done something.   I wish I had known he was at this point.   My heart hurts.  My head hurts.  I’m sad.  I’ve cried.  I’m mad.  I’ve yelled at no one and nothing.  I’m disappointed.  I shake my head confused.  Most of all I miss him, and I will.  I will miss him every time I see a comic book or comic movie.  I will every time I sit down with a cigar.  I will every time I see a cop car drive by.   I will sometimes just because.  [/SIZE]
 
[SIZE=medium]Thank you for letting me vent, and thanks to those of you that have reached out to me.  [/SIZE]
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Damn.  This has me here at my desk wiping my eyes.
 
Beautifully written and touching. 
 
Click to expand...
 
Bsneed51 said:
[SIZE=medium]Ok, this might be a rambling mess, but I need to get some things out and I know that you guys will understand a lot of what I’m saying.   I miss my friend.   In 2008 Jon and I joined CP at roughly the exact same time.   I remember thinking after a few months, who in the hell is this brash, attention seeking post whore.   But at the same time I was oddly drawn to him.  During the newbie war that year Jon, myself and Josh (napa_smokes) formed a fast friendship.   Since that time Jon and I have been teased about our “bromance”, “relationship”, blah, blah, blah.   He has stayed in my house, had dinner at my table, and played with my kids.   I’ll never forget Jon coming to my house, and at the time my daughter was two and half.   She wanted Jon to have a tea party with her.  He did without question.  For those of you that met him in person, you can just imagine how ridiculous it was to see his large frame sitting cross legged on the floor having “tea” with a tiny little girl. Anytime I talked to Jon, his first question was almost always, “how are you kids”?[/SIZE]
 
[SIZE=medium]Over the past few years Jon dropped off the boards at CP, but I was one of the fortune people he stayed in contact with regularly.  We’ve had so many conversations about everything.  Comic books, cigars, beer, music, tv shows, movies, people, relationships, and the list could go on forever.  When I went through my divorce, Jon was one of the people I leaned on heavily.    We talked daily at times, weekly, but usually never more than 2 weeks without touching base.   Sometimes it would be 3-4 texts messages, other times the conversation took up a whole day.   Plenty of times I would call Jon on my way home from work just to see what was up since I had 15 minutes.   An hour later I was still sitting in my driveway laughing with my friend.  We shared many laughs. We also made each other so mad that we would swear we would never talk to the other one again.  Then a week or so later I would get a text that said “Bro, haven’t heard from you, are you mad at me?”, and that would be the end of it because we would pick right back up like nothing happened.   These are the times I choose to remember today. [/SIZE]
 
[SIZE=medium]Jon battled demons at times in his life.  He went through ups and downs.  We all do.  I wish beyond anything this didn’t happen.  I wish I could have done something.   I wish I had known he was at this point.   My heart hurts.  My head hurts.  I’m sad.  I’ve cried.  I’m mad.  I’ve yelled at no one and nothing.  I’m disappointed.  I shake my head confused.  Most of all I miss him, and I will.  I will miss him every time I see a comic book or comic movie.  I will every time I sit down with a cigar.  I will every time I see a cop car drive by.   I will sometimes just because.  [/SIZE]
 
[SIZE=medium]Thank you for letting me vent, and thanks to those of you that have reached out to me.  [/SIZE]
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Spot on brother. We will get through this. 
 
bluue13 said:
 
[SIZE=medium]Ok, this might be a rambling mess, but I need to get some things out and I know that you guys will understand a lot of what I’m saying.   I miss my friend.   In 2008 Jon and I joined CP at roughly the exact same time.   I remember thinking after a few months, who in the hell is this brash, attention seeking post whore.   But at the same time I was oddly drawn to him.  During the newbie war that year Jon, myself and Josh (napa_smokes) formed a fast friendship.   Since that time Jon and I have been teased about our “bromance”, “relationship”, blah, blah, blah.   He has stayed in my house, had dinner at my table, and played with my kids.   I’ll never forget Jon coming to my house, and at the time my daughter was two and half.   She wanted Jon to have a tea party with her.  He did without question.  For those of you that met him in person, you can just imagine how ridiculous it was to see his large frame sitting cross legged on the floor having “tea” with a tiny little girl. Anytime I talked to Jon, his first question was almost always, “how are you kids”?[/SIZE]
 
[SIZE=medium]Over the past few years Jon dropped off the boards at CP, but I was one of the fortune people he stayed in contact with regularly.  We’ve had so many conversations about everything.  Comic books, cigars, beer, music, tv shows, movies, people, relationships, and the list could go on forever.  When I went through my divorce, Jon was one of the people I leaned on heavily.    We talked daily at times, weekly, but usually never more than 2 weeks without touching base.   Sometimes it would be 3-4 texts messages, other times the conversation took up a whole day.   Plenty of times I would call Jon on my way home from work just to see what was up since I had 15 minutes.   An hour later I was still sitting in my driveway laughing with my friend.  We shared many laughs. We also made each other so mad that we would swear we would never talk to the other one again.  Then a week or so later I would get a text that said “Bro, haven’t heard from you, are you mad at me?”, and that would be the end of it because we would pick right back up like nothing happened.   These are the times I choose to remember today. [/SIZE]
 
[SIZE=medium]Jon battled demons at times in his life.  He went through ups and downs.  We all do.  I wish beyond anything this didn’t happen.  I wish I could have done something.   I wish I had known he was at this point.   My heart hurts.  My head hurts.  I’m sad.  I’ve cried.  I’m mad.  I’ve yelled at no one and nothing.  I’m disappointed.  I shake my head confused.  Most of all I miss him, and I will.  I will miss him every time I see a comic book or comic movie.  I will every time I sit down with a cigar.  I will every time I see a cop car drive by.   I will sometimes just because.  [/SIZE]
 
[SIZE=medium]Thank you for letting me vent, and thanks to those of you that have reached out to me.  [/SIZE]
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Damn.  This has me here at my desk wiping my eyes.
 
Beautifully written and touching. 
 
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X2  
 
Thanks for sharing Brent.
 
Paul
 
yeah, much better than I could have written Brent. I still can't believe it, to be honest. When he was up here, he was more concerned with getting gifts for friends and family than he was getting himself anything. And he made a point to call them all everyday he was here. To go from that to this just boggles the mind. It's too soon I know... but dumb bastard. I'm pissed. Sorry, but I had to say it.
 
Jim (swissy) just got a hold of me and told me the news.
 
Oh Jon, dammit man... 
 
I don't know what else to say.
 
R.I.P. Brother.
 
Brent that was beautiful and i thank  you for sharing. 
Jon may you rest in peace and may your family have solace in knowing you have no more pain prayers their way
 
I never met jon but as i read earlier in this post when i saw the info on FB i was in disbelief.  I do remember a fun joking guy who was lead on the newbie war and a great shit talker. It was so much fun to read his post. I to am going to have to make more of an effort of getting back on the board and not being so distant from all the great BOTL here.
 
Souldog R.I.P
 
Bsneed51 said:
[SIZE=medium]Ok, this might be a rambling mess, but I need to get some things out and I know that you guys will understand a lot of what I’m saying.   I miss my friend.   In 2008 Jon and I joined CP at roughly the exact same time.   I remember thinking after a few months, who in the hell is this brash, attention seeking post whore.   But at the same time I was oddly drawn to him.  During the newbie war that year Jon, myself and Josh (napa_smokes) formed a fast friendship.   Since that time Jon and I have been teased about our “bromance”, “relationship”, blah, blah, blah.   He has stayed in my house, had dinner at my table, and played with my kids.   I’ll never forget Jon coming to my house, and at the time my daughter was two and half.   She wanted Jon to have a tea party with her.  He did without question.  For those of you that met him in person, you can just imagine how ridiculous it was to see his large frame sitting cross legged on the floor having “tea” with a tiny little girl. Anytime I talked to Jon, his first question was almost always, “how are you kids”?[/SIZE]
 
[SIZE=medium]Over the past few years Jon dropped off the boards at CP, but I was one of the fortune people he stayed in contact with regularly.  We’ve had so many conversations about everything.  Comic books, cigars, beer, music, tv shows, movies, people, relationships, and the list could go on forever.  When I went through my divorce, Jon was one of the people I leaned on heavily.    We talked daily at times, weekly, but usually never more than 2 weeks without touching base.   Sometimes it would be 3-4 texts messages, other times the conversation took up a whole day.   Plenty of times I would call Jon on my way home from work just to see what was up since I had 15 minutes.   An hour later I was still sitting in my driveway laughing with my friend.  We shared many laughs. We also made each other so mad that we would swear we would never talk to the other one again.  Then a week or so later I would get a text that said “Bro, haven’t heard from you, are you mad at me?”, and that would be the end of it because we would pick right back up like nothing happened.   These are the times I choose to remember today. [/SIZE]
 
[SIZE=medium]Jon battled demons at times in his life.  He went through ups and downs.  We all do.  I wish beyond anything this didn’t happen.  I wish I could have done something.   I wish I had known he was at this point.   My heart hurts.  My head hurts.  I’m sad.  I’ve cried.  I’m mad.  I’ve yelled at no one and nothing.  I’m disappointed.  I shake my head confused.  Most of all I miss him, and I will.  I will miss him every time I see a comic book or comic movie.  I will every time I sit down with a cigar.  I will every time I see a cop car drive by.   I will sometimes just because.  [/SIZE]
 
[SIZE=medium]Thank you for letting me vent, and thanks to those of you that have reached out to me.  [/SIZE]
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Well spoken, thank you Brent.
 
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