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Chuck Norris cigar line contest

Chuck Norris is afraid of Corpsmen. 'Bend over and spread 'em Chuck." "Turn your head and cough,"Chuck. "Well, let's see what we can do about that drip, Chuck." They're all tough guys, 'till they get to sick bay.

Doc.
 
Trying to get on my good side I see.


merkinmullet said:
But,

skull1_qjpreviewth.JPG
<-- This guy can kick Chuck Norris's ass!!
Click to expand...
 
Devil Doc said:
Chuck Norris is afraid of Corpsmen. 'Bend over and spread 'em Chuck." "Turn your head and cough,"Chuck. "Well, let's see what we can do about that drip, Chuck." They're all tough guys, 'till they get to sick bay.

Doc.
Click to expand...


DING DING DING DING DING

Laydeees and Gentallmen!

After 10 seconds in the fuurrrrrrst rowwwnd, we havve a WINNNNAAAAHHHH!
 
CigarStone said:
Chuck Norris is queer and he probably uses cigars on small animals!
Click to expand...

For real.

Chuck Norris is so hard, he filmed an infommercial in black tights selling a butt-tightener to middle-aged white women with esteem so low they would actually buy something from a loser like Chuck Norris.
 
Chuck Norris is SO tough, every time your on Cigar Pass and click the X in upper right corner, Chuck takes a cigar without you knowing and roundhouse kicks your browser and shuts it off.....


try it!!!
 
Chuck Norris masturbated once..... it was known as "The Baby Boom".

Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.

Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.

Chuck Norris sleeps with a night light. Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris.

This was actually a dictionary website until it said Chuck Norris spelled something wrong. He round house kicked it and it became Cigar Pass.
 
Soemeone once asked Chuck Norris about increasing the cigar tax to support childrens health initiative, the USA kids got so scared they sold all their toys and gave Chuck the money to buy more cigars....
 
I just got back from a little trip and will pick a winner tomorrow after I read through all of them. Thanks for playing along, guys. :)
 
Good Contest JHolmes!! Although alot of them did not have cigar references as per the rules, the thought was appreciated for the extra Chuck Jokes! But what does Chuck have on say Stephen Segull, Van Duh-m, or Bruce Wee? oh wait- they dont smoke cigars!
 
This was harder than I thought it'd be. There were a lot of good lines. Great job, guys.

I printed these out and passed 'em around the work area. Everyone enjoyed them. The one I thought was funniest and the hardest to say because I was cracking up was from Jlada, though.

jlada said:
Chuck Norris doesn't even like cigars. He just burns them because he's fed up with tobacco's shit.
Click to expand...

Still makes me chuckle and is in the spirit of Chuck Norris & cigars. Good job, man. If the address in your profile is correct, the prize will be on it's way soon.

In a close second place was the one about the smoke ring settling around Saturn. That one just makes you smile and nod... yeah... :D

Thanks for playing, guys.

---John Holmes...
 
JHolmes763 said:
This was harder than I thought it'd be. There were a lot of good lines. Great job, guys.

I printed these out and passed 'em around the work area. Everyone enjoyed them. The one I thought was funniest and the hardest to say because I was cracking up was from Jlada, though.

jlada said:
Chuck Norris doesn't even like cigars. He just burns them because he's fed up with tobacco's shit.
Click to expand...

Still makes me chuckle and is in the spirit of Chuck Norris & cigars. Good job, man. If the address in your profile is correct, the prize will be on it's way soon.

In a close second place was the one about the smoke ring settling around Saturn. That one just makes you smile and nod... yeah... :D

Thanks for playing, guys.

---John Holmes...

Damn I was close 2nd eh.... I can live with dat.

Lou
Click to expand...
 
JHolmes763 said:
This was harder than I thought it'd be. There were a lot of good lines. Great job, guys.

I printed these out and passed 'em around the work area. Everyone enjoyed them. The one I thought was funniest and the hardest to say because I was cracking up was from Jlada, though.

jlada said:
Chuck Norris doesn't even like cigars. He just burns them because he's fed up with tobacco's shit.
Click to expand...

Still makes me chuckle and is in the spirit of Chuck Norris & cigars. Good job, man. If the address in your profile is correct, the prize will be on it's way soon.

In a close second place was the one about the smoke ring settling around Saturn. That one just makes you smile and nod... yeah... :D

Thanks for playing, guys.

---John Holmes...
Click to expand...


LOL. Ya, the address in profile is correct! Thanks a bunch! Stay safe over there, bro. If you still want a virtual spot in my pass, you're more than welcome!
 
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