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Chuck Norris cigar line contest

There are some good ones in here!! Great contest, best off luck ladies and gents!!!
 
Schip was actually voted in unanimously. Until someone got wind that Chuck Norris is a cigar smoker. But you may ask then, "How come there were some who still voted for it" Simple my friend, only the people in the know were told about this. Coincidently those who voted for it died of unrelated roundhouse kicks to the face.
 
Chuck Norris bought a box of glass-topped Cohiba Esplendidos while on location in Mexico once. When he inquired about their authenticity, Habanos SA, Hunters and Frankau, and Wilkey all certified them as real.

Chuck Norris doesn't buy fakes. Ever.
 
Chuck doesn't buy from B&M's, he doesn't even need his own cigar company. He shits stronger stogies than triple maduros.
 
To prove it isn't a big deal to beat cancer, Chuck Norris smoked 15 cigars a day for 2 years and acquired 7 different kinds of cancer only to rid them from his body by flexing for 30 minutes. Beat that, Lance Armstrong.

Chuck Norris once smoked three Opus X cigars in an hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with the women bartenders.

God rested on the 7th day. That's when Chuck took over and created the Cigar.
 
Chuck Norris doesn't need a humidor. Under 70 degrees and 65% humidity..... they do that on thier own from breaking into a cold sweat everytime he looks at them.
 
Opus X cigars get woozy from being smoked by Chuck Norris.
 
Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar, but Chuck Norris is always Chuck Norris.
 
Chuck Norris eats wads of Tobacco and boos them out as Opus X and Tatuaje's
 
Chuck Norris is Don Pepin's father.

Chuck Norris once shook Don Pepin's hand, ever since everything he touches has turned to gold.
 
Chuck Norris flew to the Virgin Islands to buy cigars. When he left they were renamed "The Islands"


My favorite

Chuck Norris doesn't have a chin, just a third fist hidden behind his beard.
 
When observing a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick in slow motion, one finds that Chuck Norris actually rapes his victim in the butt, smokes a cigar with Tom Selleck, and then roundhouse kicks his victim in the face.

:laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
 
Chuck Norris recently launched a new range of cigars called Huckabee. :laugh:

Brian
 
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