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Words of Wisdom....

Jonesy

Jonesy

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Joined
Mar 17, 2007
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7,481
Location
NC
  I know that everyone has always heard "make sure you tell those you love, you love them" and so on. I think sometimes we hear it so much, it tends to go in one ear and out the other and you never really take it to heart. I, for one, am one of those people until recently.
 
  Everyone here is devastated to hear about Jon's passing. I for one am heartbroken. He and I have had many conversations about relationships because he knew he could always talk to me. I find it ironic that someone I never met, was comfortable enough to come to me and ask advice, just vent, or talk about whatever problem he was facing at the time. Yet, my 16 year old son was admitted to the psych ward on Monday because he's been talking about committing suicide. Please don't get me wrong, I'm not looking for this to become a pity Brian thread, I'm just letting my "online family" know that sometimes it's right in front of you and you don't see it.
 
 Tell those you love, you love them. Not just tonight because of what we've found out today, but as often as possible, because you don't know what tomorrow will bring. Tell your friends what they mean to you, smile at the stranger walking by you, hold your children and let them know you'd do anything for them.
 
 
 You never know what's going on in that person's head.....even when they're right in front of you.
 
Some folks think it odd that I would tell my mom and dad 'I love you'...every time we said good...even if it was for just a few hours.
 
 
Many years ago, one Monday night, I left my father's after we had disagreement. 
Had I not said goodbye and I love you and even kissed him on the cheek...I had done so many many times prior.
In spite of the circumstances, I know I did those things once more....as I had always done - meaningfully!
That's how I grew up.
 
The Tuesday morning he was gone before we spoke again.
 
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Say whatever you need too...There's no reason not too!
 
grateful1 said:
Some folks think it odd that I would tell my mom and dad 'I love you'...every time we said good...even if it was for just a few hours.
 
 
Many years ago, one Monday night, I left my father's after we had disagreement. 
Had I not said goodbye and I love you and even kissed him on the cheek...I had done so many many times prior.
In spite of the circumstances, I know I did those things once more....as I had always done - meaningfully!
That's how I grew up.
 
The Tuesday morning he was gone before we spoke again.
 
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Say whatever you need too...There's no reason not too!
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I actually started this routine in my family, as we never said "I love you" like this growing up, but I wasn't having it anymore. Every time I saw any family member or loved one, they knew I loved them, because its hug, kisses, and "Love You!"... no matter what. On the phone, in person, whatever. Its always genuine, and it will always be the case from me. Just like I never go to bed angry with my wife, or not telling her how much I love her. The morning is never guaranteed. Life is too short to hold back.
 
I lost my Dad suddenly about 3 years ago to a massive heart attack. I spoke to him on the phone 3 hours prior to his passing, and I am forever thankful that I did get to talk one last time. I loved him and he loved me. We never held anything back from each other, and that solidified my belief in always expressing your feelings to your loved ones. Jon was at my house one of the following days with beers and cigars, just to keep me company, even though its a 2.5 hour drive from his place. Even though we didn't stay in touch too often, I always loved him for that. He absolutely didn't need to do that, but he took time out of his life for me. It really meant a lot, and showed that he really cared for me as a friend. He reached out to me for things he went through too. I always had a waiting ear for anything for Jon. I hope he knew that we cared, and I hate the fact that we drifted apart later on down the years...
 
This internet forum is family, not many people truly understand, my wife still doesn't get it after nearly 10 years on this board. We get lost in the fact that we'll talk to them tomorrow or the fact that it can wait.

We take it for granted, especially on a forum, until it's too late. Cherish those that are important to you and know that people think about you, when you've been gone from the board. Make it a point to find out where people are in their lives, Facebook has allowed me to do that much easier when I've been away from time to time.
 
Our time is so short here on earth, and for me cigars has always been a sanctuary to soak it all in and reflect on everything.
 
Jon's passing shook me, as I drove into work this morning I had to pull over and take a moment to reflect and wipe the tears away. Love is a strong word and as men, and brothers of the leaf I think we have a responsibility to show this love to one another. I respected and cherished his friendship as brief as it was, it was real.
 
I want my life to be a living testament of the love that was bestowed upon me, so that I in turn can provide that shoulder, that solidarity for another brother who is suffering.
 
We each have our own battles, but I want everyone to know they don't have to face it alone.
 
I love this place.
 
Indeed, Jonesy. Say it often. Always look behind their eyes, and know, know that they are an expression of the divine. Always acknowledge that. 
I think we have all lived long enough to know that we are all connected. That golden thread is truth manifesting; proving to you that the life you say is yours, is also theirs. Let a smile come from the deepest part of your being to the deepest part of everyone you meet. Child of God, I salute you.
 
This goes the same for people going through a hard time - reach out to your friends and family, let them know when you need them because they won't always know.
 
Well said everyone and thank you because this opened my eyes a bit. My parents and I have not seen eye to eye over the past few years and with my dads health declining fast I know I don't call him enough to say hi. I just got off the phone with him and he was very pleased to hear from me!
 
I wish you all well and hope everything works out with your boy Brian!
 
Paul
 
Very good words and food for reflections for me guys. Thanks I will have to man up and upgrade my ways from here and going foward.
 
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Well said man. Say the things you'll regret not saying, before it's too late.
 
Well said my friend, well said. I too have recently begun doing this with my folks and family, probably more so within the last year or so.   Sometimes I forget, but this  a good reminder to make a point not to forget.
 
Thanks for posting this, Brian.  I hope you and your family can find the strength to get everything worked out.
 
I'd heard the advice "always tell your loved ones that you love them" for years, but it was my wife who finally really taught it to me.  Now that we have three kids, I don't let a day go by without reminding them all how much they mean to me.  In my line of work-- where I seem to be burying friends far too frequently-- I don't want anyone closest to me being uncertain of my affections.  Just in case.
 
I only posted this because it seems like it takes a tragedy like Jon's to bring people together and realize that life doesn't go on forever. What I stated about making sure you tell your loved ones you love them and tell your friends what they mean to you get's thrown around a lot, I just don't think it happens like it should. Gary gave a great example. You don't want to lose someone unexpected without them knowing how much they mean to you and how much you love them. It's tough living with the regret of wishing you had told them more often.
 
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