Viejo paso de los miembros

[insight]

I just didn't have time with starting my new job. I am a little depressed now because I think I could have woven an excellent example of bullshittery

 

[57Strat]

Contest packages.

Sam: 01038555749123554234

Mark: 01038555749154929544

John: 01038555749060803464



Gentlemen, due to time constraints I will not be doing the lottery pick. Just pot luck from the bags...

Lee: 01038555749155293101

George: 01038555749165658518

Anthony: 01038555749102293420

Bill: 01038555749081403803

Gary: 01038555749154724644

Jim: 01038555749060636970

Mike: 01038555749018939825

Ray: 01038555749039583526

Charlie: 01038555749028977459


Please match the number on the bag with the list, thanks.

6. Edición Limitada Cohiba Piramide '01
12. Cohiba Siglo III '96
18. Padron 1964 "Aniversario" Exclusivo Natural '99
21. Hemingway Classic Sun Grown '03
23. Montecristo Joyitas '84
24. Overland Invincible '20's
27. LBMF '05 (Opus 22 in coffin)
29. Cohiba Siglo VI '04
30. H.Upmahn Lonsdale '00
31. Avo LE07
32. H Upmann Conn. #1 SLB - BM NOSU
33. Punch Churchill - ONU CCUG
34. ERDM Choix - USU VC2
36. Davidoff Diademas Fina - 100th Anniversary
37. Casa Fuente Corona
39/40. 2005 TAA set (Opus and DCM)
41. Cohiba Esplendido PEL JUN 01
42. H Upmann Mag 50, EL 2005
43. Taboada Sublime LCDH Tia Juanna JUL 06
44. Taboada Robusto LCDH Tia Juanna JUL 06
46. Padron 1926 #6 maduro
48. Ramon Allones Small Club Corona 09/06
49. El Rey del Mundo Demi-Tasse: BM OLSO ('90)
52. Edición Limitada Cohiba Sublime 2004
54. Edición Limitada Cohiba Piramide 2006
55. Regional Release Por Larranaga Lonsdale 2006
56. Regional Release Ramon Allones Estupendo 2006
57. Davidoff Millennium Piramide (initial release)
58. H. Upmann Coronas Major tubo ( I want to say 2004 but it isn't marked)
60. RyJ Short Churchill ('06)
63. Punch Coronas (06/01)
64. FFOX Forbidden X Plat Ed
65. Cohiba Sig V 30th Anni Jar '96
66. H. U. conn #1 bm nosu
67. WOAM '03
68. AF 858 SG
70. HdM Corona '96
71. Sancho Panza Non Plus '96
72. SLR Lonsdale '98
73. Bolivar Corona '98
74. Cohiba lancero '01
75. H. Upmann Sir Winston '03
76. RASS '04
77. Cohiba Siglo VI '04
78. Fuente Untold Story Maduro '05
79. Fuente BTL
80. Padron Serie 1926 40th Anni (pre special 40th band)
81. Fuente OpusX Lancero '05 tubed
82. Padron Millenium Maduro
83. Partagas Series-P No. 2 SVF D/C 05
84. Romeo y Julieta Short Churchills Tubo
85. Bolivar Coronas Gigantes '01
86. Anejo #48
87. Opus X Belicoso XxX (Power Ranger)
88. Cohiba Siglo II Tubo


Neal, let's run the contest until the 5th and the cigar prizes will be a mystery.

And you are the judge...

 

[grateful1]

Mmmmmmmmm......mystery sticks....yum!

Nice touch.

Thanks again for the fun.

 

[Pete]

I, for one, had a tough time coming up with a response at all. You should probably know that I recently had the titanium strand's in my right arm readjusted due to a little incident wiht our local transit rail system. (Seems the mechanics couldn't find the correct brake parts but sent it out anyway) Oddly enough there was a woman pushing the baby carriage over the tracks at the exact moment this train was barreling down the tracks like a screaming mimi. Did she care that I injured myself by swooping in to stop that nightmarish scene? Of course not. All I wanted was a simple 'Thank you for saving me and my baby Oh Great Sir'. You think I could get that? No. The best she could seem to muster was uncontrollable sobbing mixed with a jibberish that probably translated into a vague form of appreciation. I dunno. Good grief. Anyway it was back to the lab for a quick tweaking. This left me feeling a bit out of sorts. People think being faster than a speeding train and leaping tall buildings in a single bound is an easy life. I'm here to tell you it's not the Red ball Jets I have on. I gotta work at it. So it's difficult to muster up the time to hang out on the internet. Of which I invented by the way. Screw Al Gore. He lied. He's just a piece of wood anyway. Are you kidding me? Just look at him. Anyway here are a few parting shots I picked up at my LA meeting.
I'm from the government and I'm here to help. The check is in the mail. It's just a slight rash. This will only hurt for a little while. It's gonna hurt me a lot more than it hurts you. I promise I'll always love you. Yeah....that's the ticket.

 

[preembargo]

l'm half horse, half gator, and a touch of the earthquake. I got the prettiest gal, fastest horse... ugliest dog this side of hell. I can out-jump, out-run, throw down, drag out and whip any man in the country. I'm bigger than any two men top to bottom side to side. I'm tall as an oak and strong as a rock wall. I can whip my weight in rattlesnakes,
go toe to toe with grizzly bears, and take on mountain cougars two at a time. I've drunk more whiskey, loved more women and stomped more varmints than any three men. I've run across snow in avalanche and come out the other side and tipped boulders with a finger. When a woman lays eyes on me she's apt to go home and shoot her husband and when a man lays eyes on me he's apt to go home and shoot himself. I wear out my clothes from the inside and swaller scorpions for fun. This world ain't big enough for me.

(a nod to Del and Mother Gue)

This it Devin? We closin' up here? You judging this thing?
I'm disappointed in this tepid response. I know for a fact there are bigger and better liars here... Matty and his sexual prowess for instance.

NA

Neal, I can't submit a story like that and you know it. You said the stories are supposed to be lies yet you take a page from my own biography as an example of what you're looking for. So what you're telling me is that you simply want me to brag?

I'm sorry Neal, that's just not me but if you must use my life as an example; the least you could do is include the more interesting anecdotes. You didn't mention anything about the 4000lb boar I took down with an improvised Mayan blow gun (had to use a pine needle as a dart), nothing about the Swedish Bikini Team changing their name to Hot Nude Blondes with Accents every time they would visit me (twice a month). Still, in comparison these are all pedestrian when you consider the other stories you might have mentioned.

The thing I would have most expected you to use is the fact that the man you call Don Pepin Garcia is known to me as Apprentice Garcia. Who do you think taught him the difference between Volado and Seco? Oscuro and Maduro? (I told him not to use Connecticut Shade on the 601's, this kid can be pig headed sometimes but he does have potential).

Anyway, I'm not one to brag so I guess I can't give you what you're looking for here but thanks for using me as an example, I'm humbled... Really.

 

[hojadepuro]

A few years after graduating from college, I returned to my folks' home to retrieve a considerable number of storage boxes that I had left with them. These boxes were filled with books, course notes, old homework projects, etc that I had kept. I decided to weed through them and eliminate as much junk as I could.

Not having the heart to dump all that hard work into the garbage, I decided to grab a six-pack, settle down in front of the downstairs fire place and ceremoniously burn four years worth of college memorabilia. I managed to get through about five of the 15 or so boxes piled around me when I realized I could not possibly sort through each box page-by-page. In the interest of time, I decided to do a cursory scan of the contents to determine if anything 'jumped out' as worth saving. Well, box number six appeared to be loaded with Psychology and Logic 101 junk so I took the short cut and tossed the whole box on the funeral pyre before me.

I popped open beer number four and watched the box smolder. Raising the can, I gave one last salute to those two unmemorable courses as the box erupted into a roaring inferno.

The papers were consumed rapidly.

So were the ancient contents of the dresser drawer that I had hastily dropped into the bottom of that box when packing two years earlier. Dang, I had forgotten all about that stuff. The toothbrush and hairbrush went up rather well.....also that packet of disposable plastic razors, dental floss and contact lens case and a bunch of junk I don't even remember. Of course, I didn't even know that stuff was going up in smoke as I sat there. Just chugged the beer and watched. It burned great...right down to that full can of deodorant that was in there with it all.

I had gotten about half the beer down when that deodorant can finally decided it had had enough. What happened next I can only compare to the scene from "2001" where that Dave Bowman guy is falling through all those lights with that look on his face. I heard a BOOM so loud that my brain only registered it as a high-pitched squeal. The contents of the fireplace right down to the last ash were propelled out with such velocity that all I could see were a multitude of bright streaks emanating from a point about three feet in front of me (ala 2001). Big blue shock wave knocked me back. Spill the beer? You bet. Caught me off guard? He-- yes. Felt like I jumped on a live grenade? Guess so. One second I was watching that inferno burn from the outside, the next second I was watching it from the inside.

The human brain reverts to 'primordial slime' mode when thrown into a situation like this. All higher-order functions vaporize. Guess it's all those endorphins and endomorphines hitting it at once. It took a couple of seconds to get the 'reasoning' capability of my brain back on-line. I jumped up, looked at my hands and feet, touched my face and realized that I was indeed intact. Holy Cow, I was completely untouched. Not even a soot mark on me. Although I might possibly qualify as a human cannon ball, there would be no Richard Pryor imitation tonight, folks.

I looked through the thick smoke toward the fireplace. What WAS a 6-inch deep accumulation of one winter's ashes was now squeaky clean. Blasted it right out. All those burning embers were now sitting on the deep-pile carpet behind me. ALL over the room. I grabbed the little shovel from the fireplace set and scooped as fast as I could. As soon as I filled the shovel, I'd run to the fireplace, empty it and run back. Some embers were 30 feet down the hall. I guess I set the Guinness World Record for "Hot ember pickup with a little shovel" in those next few minutes. I did manage to avoid setting my folks' house on fire, and the carpet only had one or two real serious melted spots on it. I DID find the deodorant can too- it had left the fireplace at some ungodly serious velocity, hit the wall at the far end of the room and come to rest directly behind where I was sitting. Dang thing was split wide open along the weld and peeled back almost flat. Burned black, too. Looked like reentry junk.

After I got the Fire Marshal Bill stuff under control, I grabbed beer number five, popped the top and thought about how I was gonna get the remaining mess cleaned up. Close examination revealed that everything was coated with a heavy layer of ash. Heck, a vacuum cleaner will get this stuff up no problem.

Gee, how lucky could I be? I didn't get decapitated, the house is still on its foundation, I got a GREAT story for the grandkids and the cleanup is gonna be a cinch. I grabbed my mom's upright out of the closet and started to work.

Ever have one of those split-seconds of consciousness when you realize you survived something really bad but you sense that it's not quite over yet? Well, I never have, but I wish I had felt that way at this point. Would have clued me in as to what was about to happen.

There I was, sucking up ashes with an upright vacuum. Too bad not all of them were cold. That upright vacuum swallowed ONE LITTLE ITTY BITTY HOT EMBER that was sitting there on the carpet. It flew right up inside it and sat on that big ol' pile of carpet lint way up in that bag. Heck, that bag hadn't been emptied in a long time. And all that air rushing in there made that little bitty hot ember REAL happy. Next thing I know, the side of that vacuum is glowing red hot. By the time I figured out what was happening, there was a two foot flame blowing out a hole in the side. It really looked and sounded sorta pretty, like a fighter jet on full afterburner. Diamond shock pattern and all.

Again, my brain reverted to primordial slime mode. All higher-order functions ceased and all I remember thinking was "T-h-r-o-w v-a-c-u-u-m".

I pitched it as hard as I could towards the open basement door, hoping it would make it to the patio outside. The distance was about 20 feet. In slow-motion it looked like one of those old NASA films where the rocket goes psycho right off the launch pad. There it was, sailing brush end first with a nice slow roll...fire belching out the side. As the umbilical pulled out of the wall, the flame settled into a long trail of sparks. The vehicle had plenty of initial velocity and it looked like a good downrange trajectory........right up to the point it passed through the plate glass window to the right side of the door.

 

[AVB]

That has to be true, you remember it too well.

 

[tone-ny]

Devin thank you in advance for what I am sure will be a great selection of cigars!

 

[insight]

Right before I was to begin my college career in Ohio I had a very interesting experience.
I had arrived in Delaware, a suburb of Columbus, about a week early to get my things in
order and to get to know the area. At that point I really only knew one person in the
state, a guy named Nick from southern Ohio (in Waverly) who was the cousin of one of my good
friends. Nick was also starting school nearby at the same time and he already had many
friends in the area.

Prior to heading up to Delaware I had spent some time hanging out with Nick and some of his
friends at a lakehouse in Waverly. The whole time he insisted there was a girl in Delaware
I had to meet. After a few days of his insistence (ok so he didn't really have to insist
very hard) I agreed to go on a blind date with the girl. So upon my arrival in Delaware I
called up Julie (that was her name) and arranged to pick her up the evening before classes
were to begin at around six to head out to dinner and a movie. Nick had also invited us to a
fraternity party later in the evening, which she sounded really excited about on the phone.

Well the time arrived to pick her up and off I went. She lived in a well maintained two
story house with a somewhat Victorian style about it. I walked up and knocked on the door
and was greeted by a tall, thin, well dressed man with graying hair who introduced himself
as Julie's father, Dave. He invited me into the living room and offered me a coke while we
waited for Julie to make her appearance. After going through the usual smalltalk get to
know you chitchat Dave told me he had a favor to ask me.

Expecting the usual "Take good care of my daughter" speech I was fairly uninterested but of
course responded with "Absolutely Dave, what do you need?" "Well Phil," replied Dave,
"Julie hasn't been out for a while and I really want to make sure she has a good time..."
Before he explained himself the door opened and in came Julie. In her wheelchair.
Now let me pause for a second and say I would have no problem dating a girl in a wheelchair
but I was certainly not prepared for this on my blind date. Somehow despite all the
conversation I had with Nick about her, he had never thought it pertinent to mention she was
a paraplegic. I of course tried to cloak my surprise and introduced myself. She was a very
attractive girl (she looked sort of like Brooke Burke) so it wasn't too tough to stare at
her instead of the chair. After the introductions Dave suggested we go put our glasses in
the kitchen so Julie and I could take off on her date.

"Look, I know this may seem strange but I want to pay for your date and I want you to take
my van, it has a wheelchair lift that makes everything easier. One thing though, please try to have her back by 11 since tomorrow is the first day of classes." said Dave after the kitchen
door swung shut. I agreed it would be no problem to be back by 11 and refused the money at first, feeling awkward enough already, but heinsisted and shoved a few twenties and the keys into my pocket. Well shit, what was I gonna do now? I will tell you exactly what I did. I thanked Dave profusely, took Julie out to the garage where the van lived and off we went!

We decided to do dinner at a fish n chips pub on the way to the theater called the "old Bag
of Nails." On the way we did the usual first date small talk, What do you like to do? What
are you studying? Missionary or reverse cowgirl etc. etc. We got our table at the
restaurant and ordered our fish with fried pickles as a starter. We talked more over the
course of dinner and she kept mentioning how excited she was to go to the party. I found
myself very attracted to her. Still, I was a little aprehensive about the situation,
especially about going to the party later on. I knew Nick's friends could be a bit over the
top when drinking and I didn't really know what to expect given the surprise twist the blind
date had taken. Still, I paid for the dinner with the money Dave had given me and off we
went to see one of the American Pie movies.
Going into the movie theater was a bit odd for me, as I had never sat in the special section
with the space for a wheelchair before. Once the lights went down I felt Julie reaching for
my hand. At least thats what I thought at first until she moved it over to my crotch. I
jumped at first and looked over at her, but she was just intently staring at the screen.
This went on for a few minutes, the whole while my mind was just racing. Suddenly she
stopped, just as fast as she had started, and we watched the rest of the movie as if nothing
had happened.

As we left the theater she asked me if we were going to head to the party and my mind was
abruptly pulled from thoughts of what had just occurred in the theater. I was still very
apprehensive about bringing her to a raucous party with a bunch of people I didn't know,
especially since I hadn't established myself yet and didn't know how she or I would be
treated. But she was very insistent and deflected my protests that I was tired and wanted
to go somewhere else. So again, off we went.

When we arrived at the party I immediately spotted Nick and excused myself to "go grab a couple of drinks." I went up to Nick and asked him why the hell he hadn't told me my date was in a wheelchair and he told me he had just found out himself. Apprantly there had been a bad car wreck the previous fall and Julie had lost the use of her legs as a result. A little embarrassed at having asked the question in the first place I simply nodded and went to grab our beers. I came back and handed her one of the cups which she promptly emptied. I drank mine down as well but didn't want to overdo it given I was driving. I grabbed her another beer and another which she downed as fast as the first. By this point she was starting to get a little giggly but was still 'holding her liquor' well for such a small girl. We talked with a few players on the Lacrosse team about the upcoming homecoming game and she introduced me to a few of the members of the fraternity throwing the party. They invited me back for a rush event the following weekend, making me feel like even more of an asshole for being apprehensive about bringing Julie to the party. After about an hour at the party I realized it was almost 10:30 and told Julie we had better get her back home. She was eager to get on the road herself and said she wanted to get some rest before class.
As I was pulling up to her house she told me to park on the street instead of pulling me into the garage. I complied and went to get her out, but as soon as I opened the door she grabbed me and started kissing me frantically. After a minute or two she stopped and looked me in the eyes. "It's been a while since I have been with anyone but basically everything about you makes me incredibly horny. Do you want to have sex?" she asked. Being the upstanding youth I was and given that I had promised to have her back by 11, I knew what to do. "Of course! But where can we do it? I don't mean to kill the mood but it seems like it would be tough in these cramped quarters given your lack of mobility." I replied. "Well it just so happens I have something that might help with that problem. Reach into the pouch on the back of the chair and take out the drawstring bag. Then we need to head over to that big oak tree by the side of the house." Julie told me. So I did as she asked and reached into the bag to find a variation on ........... one of these!

She explained to me how to hook it over one of the big branches on the oak tree, which I did, then asked me to put her in the swing. At this point I had a crisis of conscience, not sure if getting it on with this girl in her parents' yard was really the right thing to do. But of course male instinct won over and I was off to the races, the whole while Julie was moaning and uttering profanities. Somehow we didn't wake her parents during the act and I was able to get her back into her chair without incident. I kissed her goodnight, gave her the van keys to give to her dad, and, still in a daze, made my way back to my car and headed home.

The next morning I woke up refreshed and headed off to my first day of class. Imagine my surprise when I walked into the classroom and there was Dave standing behind the professor's desk. It turns out Dave was the head of the economics department and would be teaching my course. He waved me over and told me he would like to have a word with me after class. Sitting through class was impossible, worse than sitting through a root canal. Finally Dave finished his introductory lecture and the other students filed out. I walked up slowly, wondering what he would say.

"Phil I want to thank you again for showing Julie a great time last night, this morning she was telling us she really had a blast!"

whew! I think my sigh of relief was obviously audible. Then he continued on..

"But next time I hope you can do me another favor" uh oh. What is it going to be?

"Next time park the van in the garage instead of the street." Whew! Thats it!

"Also, I can live with all that damn noise but please take the fuggin sex harness off of the tree branch next time!"

 

[stogieman]

Devin thank you in advance for what I am sure will be a great selection of cigars!

Devin, ditto what Anthony said since I was the last one to see the Box before it made it home to you. Thanks brother for a great Pass........ :thumbs:

 

[Wascal]

Ditto also ! Great pass Devin, and I'm sure pot luck will be great. Thanks for the invite. :thumbs:

 

[Swissy]

:0

Wow Devin... I cannot imagine the boxes going out. What combinations are possible!!

Thank you SO much for the pass... this is just above and beyond. Good thing I just hauled in some nice shiny red salmon today... :whistling:

 

[grateful1]

:0

Wow Devin... I cannot imagine the boxes going out. What combinations are possible!!

Thank you SO much for the pass... this is just above and beyond. Good thing I just hauled in some nice shiny red salmon today... :whistling:

I can..as it just arrived! :thumbs:

Thanks for the fun.

 

[57Strat]

I wish to thank all my brothers and friends that did me the honor of participating in this pass!

Everyone's generosity was over the top with all the amazing cigars, ashtray, coffee, scotch, hats and patch.

Thank you all that offered to run and donate prizes to the contests and all the members that contributed to them. Very entertaining... :thumbs:

It has been a very enjoyable pass to run and follow over the last several months.

Gentlemen, first class!!!

Thank you.




Once our esteemed wordsmith Mr. Clemmons has made a decision on the last contest, I will mail out the prizes and this pass can be concluded.

 

[AVB]

Amazing pass and I am honored to be included. Devin, your generosity can't be exceeded no matter how hard we may try. Thank you so much for the selection, I might have to save one or two so I have something to put in your next pass if I am lucky enough to be invited.

 

[jfk742]

Devon I just recieved your package and thank you very much for the selection, very tasty looking. Thank you again for the contest and congratulations on the safe conclusion of your pass.

John

 

[Pete]

Devin thank you for letting me be a part of this. I am honored to have been among the company involved here. Thanks bro, talk to you again very soon.

 

[HapaLee]

Devin- THANK YOU!!! I haven't been around much lately, and haven't been following the pass recently due to some Family issues. To get home from work and see this package really made my day!! Thanks for letting me be a part of the pass, and thanks again for the "pot luck" package!!

 

[Strayvector]

Thank you, Devin. Package received today and what wonderful looking cigars. Thanks again for allowing all of us to take part in this incredible pass.

 

[tone-ny]

Devin my box came today! Thank you for having me in your pass and for the great selection of cigars!