CONTEST!!!
Mr. Cole would like me to address a new contest and since I'm leaving town on Sunday I better start now. This one is for all you clever wordsmiths out there... and the not so clever ones... and the plagiarists... and, well you get the idea.
I want you all to do something that is greatly frowned upon here.
I want you to tell me a LIE!
The bigger the better. One liners will not be considered. Your lies must be presented in story form.
What's the biggest lie you ever told... heard... read... or wrote. What's the funniest lie, the most devious or hateful, make one up, steal someone elses...
Remember, a good lie is self supported and contains an element of truth.
I wrote one but Devin disqualified me. Here it is anyway.
Had me a dog once, a big awful looking thing by the name of Spot. By big I mean it was tall and spindly, could look me in the eye and only weighed 70 lbs. It was the strangest looking dog you ever saw. I had foreigners, you know, from New Jersey and the like traveling all that way just to put eyes on it. I only charged ‘em a dime for the first minute.
This dog was so tall it couldn’t eat off the ground like other dogs which is why it was so skinny. I had to hang its grub from a limb or it would have plumb starved to death. It took to eatin’ apples when they was in season. My kids could only pet it’s ankles. They finally made a raggedy old rope ladder. They’d sling this rope ladder over Spot’s back and down the other side so it hung to the ground on both sides. Then one kid would stand on one end while the other clambered up to scratch his ears.
A feller at the university heard about Spot and was so curious he come down for a look. Me and him stood at the fence watchin’ the children tryin’ to get they rope ladder on Spot. We stood there for nearly 30 minutes before he spoke.
“That looks an awful lot like a deer,” he said.
“It’s a dog,” I said, “the kids love him.”
NA