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Thought’s Dad Joke Thread

What do you get when you jack off into your golf bag?

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A man goes home from work one day and finds all of his belonging laying strewn about the front yard. His wife is standing on the porch and screams "I threw your ass out!" The man says "why, everything was fine this morning?" The wife says "someone told me today that you are a pedophile!"

The man says "ooooh, that's a big word for a 12 year old"
 
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After a great first date, a man and his date go to his place for some great sex. After the deed was done, the women says to the man "I have a confession to make". The man, nervous because it's 2025 asks what she wants to say. The woman tells him that she used to be a Christian. The man sighs in relief as he was expecting something bad! He tells her that he respects that and nothing would change between them. The women replies "That's great, I feel so much better as a Christina"
 
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