Things I've learned the hard way . . .

[Kosmo]

Never pull your hand across your body when using a table saw.

 

[Gawl]

If someone tells you the electricity is off, double check.

Check your dogs mouth before you let them kiss you (kitty litter).

 

[northernmoris]

If you make a funny face and someone smacks you in the back of the head, your face won't get stuck like that.

 

[enerjay]

Remember to smile at the small stuff, and its all small stuff.

When a Judge tells you "ignorance is no excuse for the law" you are in trouble.

Be great full you are only young once.

Two wrongs do not make a right, however they can make you feel better.

 

[gtadroptop]

The chance of the bread falling with the buttered side down is directly proportional to the cost of the carpet.

Tell a man there are 300 billion stars in the universe and he'll believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint on it and he'll have to touch it to be sure.

The first myth of management is that it exists.

 

[fourthrail]

Don't eat the big blue mint.

 

[Robbmt]

NEVER make a big decision when you have an erection.

 

[NullSmurf]

There will always be money for piano movers.

 

[DePasta]

Sometimes it is better to keep your ears open and your mouth shut.....

 

[gregor22]

If you can smell the fish, don't eat it.

Don't worry about things you can't control.

You make your own luck.

 

[smellysell]

6. Crisco is not a lubricant...

Tim

Nor is olive oil...

 

[gtadroptop]

The other line is always faster.

 

[Diesel Grinch]

Read more Post less!

Search is your friend.

DG

 

[Niko]

licking a frozen pole DOES hurt

women DO NOT want you to be honest when they ask you if they look fat

filling butane lighters is a practice best done outside

snow skiing requires TWO skis (ouch)

Haha!! I almost spit my coffee on my screen remembering the story you told us. :sign:

 

[Woodson]

Call before you visit your parents. I learned that one the hard way...

 

[ironmike5]

The sweet is never as sweet without the sour.

 

[JLAudio]

Don't be a fool, wrap your tool.

If it smells like fish and tastes like chicken...hold your nose and keep on lickin (I don't endorse this one)

 

[MiamiCubano]

And, on that note:

You can't polish a turd.

 

[Jonesy]

As long as you're still the most important person in the world to your child, make sure they feel they're the most important person in the world to you. Kids grow up way too fast.

 

[cajunblaze]

See No Evil
Hear No Evil
Speak No Evil,


By the way the hardest one for me was "Yes Maam"

Thanks Rich