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Spreading the cheer contest

moki

el Presidente
Joined
Dec 16, 2003
Messages
9,418
I placed an order with JimD for some cigars that I hadn't had before to try... and there was a slight miscommunication with the order. JimD was quick to rectify the situation, and asked if he could add something to my order to make up the difference between what I paid, and what I was being sent. I said that was fine by me.

Well, JimD ended up sending me something worth far more than the difference between what I ordered and what I was charged for: a sealed 2007 Fuente Holiday Selection box. So in the spirit of Christmas, I'm going to pass this box along to whomever wins this contest.

The Contest

Tell me a funny and/or uplifting Christmas story from your own personal life. The story I like the best will win the contest. That's it.

The Rules

1. I am the sole arbitrator of who wins and who loses this contest

2. You need to have been a CP member for at least 6 months and have at least 50 posts on CP to enter the contest.

3. The contest ends at midnight EST time on Wednesday, December 12th, 2007

The Prize

The winner will receive 1 sealed box of the 2007 Fuente Holiday Collection, which includes the following cigars:

2x Anejo #48
2x Opus X Perfection X
2x Hemingway Classic
2x Double Chateau natural
2x Double Chateau sun grown

Good luck.. and thanks again for your great service and generosity, JimD!
 
Here's an example of what I mean...

When I was in my early teens, we went to my older cousin's house for Christmas. He'd brought his girlfriend to meet the family for the very first time, and it wasn't just his parents... it was also our grandparents, and a whole host of other relatives. A very tense/nervous meeting for her, no doubt.

I can fondly remember her talking to my great grandmother, looking rather hot in a Christmas-y skirt, when the family dog came by and sniffed her, and then immediately crammed his nose up her skirt and firmly into her snatch. I even saw panties, which was quite a thrill for this 13 year old.

She didn't seem to enjoy the dog "goosing" as much as I did, and brusquely brushed the dog away. Well, that damn dog must have smelled something sweeeeeet and golden up in 'dem dere hills, because the dog would not leave her alone. For a half our or so, she fenced with the dogs nose, trying to keep her composure talking to my relatives as the dog kept nuzzling her snatch and lifting her skirt up.

It got so bad that the dog had to be locked up... and she'd turned several shades of red in embarrassment from our entire family witnessing the dog going ballistic over her whisker biscuit.

To this day I wonder what the hell she had up there that smelled so sweet... or knowing dogs, so much like a dead chinchilla.

Never saw the girl again either. :)
 
Hmmm, I was contemplating a couple of stories to post, but after reading that example I'm going to have to think about it some more. ???

All of mine were more sentimental than funny, and it would be rather strange reading them after reading that story. For some reason, that story disturbs me. I think it was the dead chinchilla line that did it.

D
 
Hmmm, I was contemplating a couple of stories to post, but after reading that example I'm going to have to think about it some more. ???

All of mine were more sentimental than funny, and it would be rather strange reading them after reading that story. For some reason, that story disturbs me. I think it was the dead chinchilla line that did it.

D

Sentimental/uplifting is fine too! :)
 
How 'bout the Christmas I got "An official Red Ryder carbine action two-hundred shot range model air rifle with a compass in the stock and this thing that tells time".....oh.....wait.....that's not my story. :blush:
 
Hmmm, I was contemplating a couple of stories to post, but after reading that example I'm going to have to think about it some more. ???

All of mine were more sentimental than funny, and it would be rather strange reading them after reading that story. For some reason, that story disturbs me. I think it was the dead chinchilla line that did it.

D

x2
 
Moki wins the contest! Hands down the best christmas story I've ever heard.
If anyone tops that story they'll certainly deserve the sampler.

BTW....Jim does rock
mrtapes
 
Moki wins the contest! Hands down the best christmas story I've ever heard.
If anyone tops that story they'll certainly deserve the sampler.

BTW....Jim does rock
mrtapes

I can't win my own contest... get to work boys!
 
When I was a young lad, (15 years to be exact) I lived with my Uncle and Aunt on a sheep farm in New Zealand. My uncle being a large fat man was always picked as Santa. I used to have the fun job of lugging around his sack and running to the bar for him. (ho ho ho).
One year in particular stood out to me as we were giving to opportunity to fly Santa to the Christmas party in a local crop dusting Helicopter.
Now my Uncle Joe who was a bit of a joker decided that I would dress up a shop dummy as Santa and hurl it out the side of the chopper as we were coming in to land.. He reckoned the kids would love it... Yer Right Santa...
The Children freaked out big time, Santa (Uncle Joe) spent the rest of the time there consoling them and blaming me.. I am sure some of them believed him.
I still get the odd strange look when I go back to that town.
 
My story is about as bitter sweet as they come.

I was 12 years old in 1977 and my Pop-Pop and Mom-mom Martin went down to visit my great Aunt Lauriane in Florida for Christmas. Since she and her second husband had moved down to Ft. Lauderdale earlier that year to get away from the Pennsylvania winters.

It was the first Christmas they spent away from us that I could remember.

Pop-pop Martin had retired a few years before from G&E Electric and before moving to Philadelphia to work for G&E E had been a coal miner for over 15 years, while putting himself through night school to get his engineering degree.

During his coal mining years he had pretty much destroyed his lungs (Pop-pop Adams, who he was friends and co-workers with in the mine and across the street neighbors in Shamokin PA (and thats how my Mom and Dad met), had died from Black Lung a few years earlier) so he was looking forward to moving down to Florida to enjoy the warm salt air since he always said it made it easier for him to breath. So it was a Christmas and a house buying trip combined.

But before they left, they stopped by our house to drop off Christmas presents and to say goodbye. Pop-pop took my Sister and me for a walk down to the park and watched us ice skate for an hour or so and then brought us home for dinner. Mom and Mom-mom had made Chicken pot pie and it was a great family dinner with a lot of joking and tales being told. After the meal we all walked out to the car to say goodbye.

Pop-pop bent way down from his 6 foot 9 inch height and picked me up high in the air like he always did, gave me a hug and then swung me around in a circle one time and placed me gently back on the driveway.

Then he got in the 1965 Chrysler Newport with Mom-mom and they drove away.

Now as anyone who was old enough to remember the late 1970s, the phone service on Christmas Eve always was horrible due to the amount of line traffic. It took forever for a call to go through and there was a very good chance you would be disconnected right away.

We had just finished dinner and I went up to my Parents bedroom to watch some TV on the little B&W set they had up there, when the phone rang.

My Mom and I both picked up at the same time and we heard Mom-mom say "Jean your father is dead..." and then the line broke and the call disconnected.

All I really remember was sitting there and holding the phone receiver and hearing my mother's scream from down in the kitchen. The rest of it went by in a blur.

It took my Dad hours on that cold and forlorn Christmas eve, to calm my Mom down and to finally get a call through to my Aunt's to find out what had happened.

Pop-pop and Uncle Howard had been sitting out on the porch, enjoying the sunset with a glass of beer, when he had a massive heart attack and basically died on the spot. Quick and painless, Mom-mom said later that he didn't even drop his beer.

Of course Christmas day was about as bleak as you could imagine. Mom was in bed under heavy sedation. And my sister and I listlessly opened our presents after our Dad told us that life goes on and to try to enjoy ourselves anyway.

I opened Pop-pop's present first.

It was the book "Great Warplanes of WWI and WWII" in full color, with cut-out views of all the planes and stories of all the pilots I have dreamed about since hearing about the great Aces of the two World Wars. A wonderful gift in itself but when I opened the cover I saw my Pop-pop had wrote the following message.

"My Dearest Grandson Shawn, may this book inspire you to reach for the sky and help you remember that if you strive to fulfill your dreams and give it your all, that you can achieve anything!

Love Pop-pop."

I still have that book, and my memories of a giant of a man that loved me very much.

Merry Christmas to all of you, and if you have older relatives, make the effort to visit them this holiday season. Because you never know how soon they might be gone, and all you'll have left are your memories of them.

Shawn

*edit* to fix a run together sentence. :blush: my English is getting pretty rusty over here, in the land of bratwurst and beer.
 
Good luck to anyone trying to follow up *that* one, what a bittersweet story!

Thanks for sharing.
Rob
 
When i was a young lad i had to walk to school barefoot in the snow uphill both ways, Then i found out about those darn new inventions called shoes. The rest is history! :laugh:
 
Kudos to Jim and you for being the fine gentlemen that you are!

Did I win?
 
Here's an example of what I mean...

When I was in my early teens, we went to my older cousin's house for Christmas. He'd brought his girlfriend to meet the family for the very first time, and it wasn't just his parents... it was also our grandparents, and a whole host of other relatives. A very tense/nervous meeting for her, no doubt.

I can fondly remember her talking to my great grandmother, looking rather hot in a Christmas-y skirt, when the family dog came by and sniffed her, and then immediately crammed his nose up her skirt and firmly into her snatch. I even saw panties, which was quite a thrill for this 13 year old.

She didn't seem to enjoy the dog "goosing" as much as I did, and brusquely brushed the dog away. Well, that damn dog must have smelled something sweeeeeet and golden up in 'dem dere hills, because the dog would not leave her alone. For a half our or so, she fenced with the dogs nose, trying to keep her composure talking to my relatives as the dog kept nuzzling her snatch and lifting her skirt up.

It got so bad that the dog had to be locked up... and she'd turned several shades of red in embarrassment from our entire family witnessing the dog going ballistic over her whisker biscuit.

To this day I wonder what the hell she had up there that smelled so sweet... or knowing dogs, so much like a dead chinchilla.

Never saw the girl again either. :)


Uh, that's just weird. :laugh:
 
Shawn - Thanks for sharing that story. You give good advice to all. I don't know if you will win, but I know I would vote for you.
 
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