• Hi Guest - Sign up now for Secret Santa 2024!
    Click here to sign up!
  • Hi Guest - Come check out all of the new CP Merch Shop! Now you can support CigarPass buy purchasing hats, apparel, and more...
    Click here to visit! here...

NEWBIE WAR OF 08': VICTORY!

FOX TWO!

DC#0307 3330 0000 4613 8988

df932c4ea384a314a872.jpeg


Can't Duck, Can't Cover...Get The Hell Out Of Dodge!
 
Newbies,

You have been assigned your targets. Make ready to launch. We will not fail, we will not surrender!!

"Go forward until the last round is fired and the last drop of gas is expended...then go forward on foot!"
- General George Patton

patton.jpg
 
Just as I suspected General. The FOG's have already forgotten they are under attack in their old age!
Picture your local FOG: A little spring time sun, a morning stroll in the garden to see what is growing so far. What is that, oh, I forgot to put my dentures in. War, what war. ???
Then Cablamo!!!

We are serious this time FOG's, you'd better wake up! :laugh:
 
Just as I suspected General. The FOG's have already forgotten they are under attack in their old age!
Picture your local FOG: A little spring time sun, a morning stroll in the garden to see what is growing so far. What is that, oh, I forgot to put my dentures in. War, what war. ???
Then Cablamo!!!

We are serious this time FOG's, you'd better wake up! :laugh:
LOL dentures LOL, :laugh:
the kablammo was thier depends getting filled before the bomb went off, LOL :laugh:

edited because bombs go off not of...
 
My wife reports that I have a strange box at home with something about a Newb War on it.

I am out on work and a herf in Chicago until Saturday afternoon, so I won't be able to check it out until then. I'll report more.

But once again.....missed me newbs.
I'd be very carefull upon opening that package if I was you :whistling: :whistling:

Got home today to the awaiting bomb :)

Since I was away when it arrived, I walked in very well prepared. Though I must admit I was still caught a bit off guard. There's some nice smokes in there for sure. As much as it pains me to say.....I took some damage on this one.

Thanks br174
 
My wife reports that I have a strange box at home with something about a Newb War on it.

I am out on work and a herf in Chicago until Saturday afternoon, so I won't be able to check it out until then. I'll report more.

But once again.....missed me newbs.
I'd be very carefull upon opening that package if I was you :whistling: :whistling:

Got home today to the awaiting bomb :)

Since I was away when it arrived, I walked in very well prepared. Though I must admit I was still caught a bit off guard. There's some nice smokes in there for sure. As much as it pains me to say.....I took some damage on this one.

Thanks br174


HELL YEAH!! CASUALTY NUMBER ONE!!!!
 
Private Irish falling in! ....A HOT FRESH ONE!

The noobs are getting our ranks in order...

fullmetaljacket.jpg


...the FOGs won't know what hit 'em!! :0

You'd better parde around protecting your family jewels or you'll need one of these -

masonJar02.jpg


So ......
gunnery-sergeant-hartman-pointing.jpg


Look Here ....

Thanks alot my Mailman refuses to deliver mail to me anymore (and it's gonna be difficult now that he has only one hand) and the USPS has issued an official letter about explosives in the mail - especially from the likes of one Josh in Napa! Impressive and thank you, but have you no mercy? The mailman has a family!!!
So no sooner do I get off the phone with the EMS & USPS and ... :0
I get a call from the office that I they will no longer accept packages and the new leasing agent starts Monday, something about a former DEA/FBI agent or something and yada, yada, yada they want to speak to a Mr. Sparks. Sounds like his steamboat will be sunk. I've heard of pipe bombs and roadside bombs, but BBQ SAUCE BOMBS??? what is wrong with you mang? Thank you times 4! I'd send roses but I drank most of them! :laugh: :D

So now I'm on guard and go to the mailroom this afternoon and I spot it ??? , tucked nicely in the newly installed explosive containment vault. Moving with the grace and wisdom only age can bring, I dismantled the majority of the hissing bomb, then BOOM - Hey I can still do most of my usual things with 9 fingers, right? Very clever and sneaky with great artwork! I will now be wary of Aero packages from Scott! ;)

Now look here Neo-Noobs (yes rhymes with BOOBS), while your efforts and offerings are appreciated (OK drooled over) this does not mean your Neo-Noob Disturbance will go unpunished (unacknowledged), not today ( I have a bit of a cigar N roses hangover from some killer BBQ sauce), maybe not tomorrow (I'm broke as Elliot Spitzer's Offical Ho Procurement Director), but nonnullus quod per vengance quod ut vos minimus specto is ! someday and with vengance and when you least expect it!



Gentlemen, nay BOTLs, thank you and your timing couldn't have been better; much appreciated! :) ;)


edited for spelling
 
Locked loaded and launch sequence has been activated.

Time to bring out the big guns. :angry: No more mister nice noob!
 
Private Irish falling in! ....A HOT FRESH ONE!

The noobs are getting our ranks in order...

fullmetaljacket.jpg


...the FOGs won't know what hit 'em!! :0

You'd better parde around protecting your family jewels or you'll need one of these -

masonJar02.jpg


So ......
gunnery-sergeant-hartman-pointing.jpg


Look Here ....

Thanks alot my Mailman refuses to deliver mail to me anymore (and it's gonna be difficult now that he has only one hand) and the USPS has issued an official letter about explosives in the mail - especially from the likes of one Josh in Napa! Impressive and thank you, but have you no mercy? The mailman has a family!!!
So no sooner do I get off the phone with the EMS & USPS and ... :0
I get a call from the office that I they will no longer accept packages and the new leasing agent starts Monday, something about a former DEA/FBI agent or something and yada, yada, yada they want to speak to a Mr. Sparks. Sounds like his steamboat will be sunk. I've heard of pipe bombs and roadside bombs, but BBQ SAUCE BOMBS??? what is wrong with you mang? Thank you times 4! I'd send roses but I drank most of them! :laugh: :D

So now I'm on guard and go to the mailroom this afternoon and I spot it ??? , tucked nicely in the newly installed explosive containment vault. Moving with the grace and wisdom only age can bring, I dismantled the majority of the hissing bomb, then BOOM - Hey I can still do most of my usual things with 9 fingers, right? Very clever and sneaky with great artwork! I will now be wary of Aero packages from Scott! ;)

Now look hear Neo-Noobs (yes rhymes with BOOBS), while your efforts and offerings are appreciated (OK drooled over) this does not mean your Neo-Noob Disturbance will go unpunished (unacknowledged), not today ( I have a bit of a cigar N roses hangover from some killer BBQ sauce), maybe not tomorrow (I'm broke as Elliot Spitzer's Offical Ho Procurement Director), but nonnullus quod per vengance quod ut vos minimus specto is ! someday and with vengance and when you least expect it!



Gentlemen, nay BOTLs, thank you and your timing couldn't have been better; much appreciated! :) ;)


edited for spelling

Did you like it? I quit drinking 22 years ago but I wanted to send something I was sure you couldn't easily aquire.
 
My wife reports that I have a strange box at home with something about a Newb War on it.

I am out on work and a herf in Chicago until Saturday afternoon, so I won't be able to check it out until then. I'll report more.

But once again.....missed me newbs.
I'd be very carefull upon opening that package if I was you :whistling: :whistling:

Got home today to the awaiting bomb :)

Since I was away when it arrived, I walked in very well prepared. Though I must admit I was still caught a bit off guard. There's some nice smokes in there for sure. As much as it pains me to say.....I took some damage on this one.

Thanks br174
Enjoy :thumbs:
 
Awesome coordination souldoggy, :thumbs: a triple hit!, RebelHerfer is damaged, Enjoy Brother, I sure enjoyed marking up the inner box and selecting the smokes, :laugh:

Next target aquired, searching out the ammo........

this is FUN! :D
 
I don't know about damaged... hungover, impressed maybe, appreciative yes, but not damaged! ;)
Wisdom knows when to be gracious, soThank You Josh, I will be smoking one today; Mr. Sparks all 4 Roses are SWEEEET! Thank You; Scott, Thank You as well, very creative & I will be smoking these this Tuesday at a Scotch tasting. This is no absolution, just a sincere thanks for a well timed run. :)

So as a wiser and much older FOG said to me...paraphrased here in this photo:

mistakes.jpg
 
Nice job fellow Newbs. Knowing the targets that are upcoming, this is going to be a pretty hard core couple of weeks. FOG's you better strap on the kevlar, and get in your bunkers. INCOMING!
 
It took 13 pages and 486 posts to get to casualty #1?


I have not read the thread, but I suspect it resembles a bunch of giggling little girls on the playground. And you know the girls, they can go on FOREVER.
 
How cute, the noobs think they have what it takes. Kinda like a little boy who realizes he can pee standing up; still gotta long way to go before you can stand six feet away from the urinal and not miss.

Does it count when you stand six feet away, face the opisite direction and can still hit the latrine? Hoo-yah.
 
Top