• Hi Guest - Come check out all of the new CP Merch Shop! Now you can support CigarPass buy purchasing hats, apparel, and more...
    Click here to visit! here...

Looking for some criticism

Status
Not open for further replies.
You ad looks fine and is a great rough outline...I must agree with axing the picture and Moki is 100% right with the logo emphasis..just think of how many businesses u associate with shapes and colors first and content second...food for thought...Great job and maybe you can trade services with a graphic guy or even better maybe SamGuss can hook ya up. I think you are on right page, just needs cleaning up!!
 
You know I love ya like a brother Dave, but I have to agree with what Moki said. In the interest of getting your first major BIZ ADD the most attention, it should be done professionally. While I like your basic design, and the Picis "So Cute" :love: I would axe the pic and go far a Good Logo that you can attach a © to from now on. I wish you luck beyond mesure and may your add bring you so much new BIZ that you have to relocated that Great Bro PB to your neck of the woods and give hima Job :lookup: :p
 
You've gotten two votes for the nerd slogan, but I'm going to have to cast a vote against. ??? The reason is because it seems as though every small computer company these days is going with the whole "nerd" cliche...

for instance, here are 4 out of the top 6 websites that google returned for "computer nerds"...
http://www.femalecomputernerd.com/
http://www.thenerds.net/
http://www.computernerds.com.au/
http://www.cnerds.com/

and every small computer company van that you see on the road has come slogan that revolves around their nerdiness. Now, I know...I know. You came up with it first and you're the ultimate computer geek. But, it just so happens that my wife and I were recently talking about the overused "computer nerd" slogan. We saw a van on the road and she brought up the fact. Also, I think it clashes with your ads intention. You have, IMO, a very nice, professional ad and then at the end you throw in the ol' computer nerd comment. I think it detracts from the professionalism of the ad.

...still friends? :p
 
gatorsmg said:
I think it will be pretty effective the way it is but some of the suggestions here have been pretty good so you should probably take them.

My suggestion: replace your pic with one of a naked chick! That would get my business :D
What he said :D :thumbs:
 
Dave,

Following are my opinions, but I am a graphic designer by trade - it is my full-time day job, not just something I dabble in. (that should give me some clout I hope :p )


I must say, there are quite a few valid points made regarding the ad and logo.

My best advice is do NOT take out a color ad. In fact, don't even take out a 1/2 page. If you want, I can locate the statistics for you.... but contrary to common belief and what the sales rep might have told you, a 1/4 page B&W ad is ~80% as effective as a full color, full page ad. Is it only 80% the price of a full page? NO! Save you cash for other things.

I also have a question - is everyone in the book a member of the Chamber? If so, I don't think its necessary to list that you're a member.


If Sam runs out of ideas or designs, I'd be happy to help out a BOTL :thumbs: Send me a couple decent sticks and I'll be set.

LMK,
Cheers,
Dixie
 
One issue is that your website is called Greatcomputerservice.com but it is only a foot note at the bottom of the add.

The website name should be referenced as a major part of the add. Web based revenue seems to be a large part of your service and the first contact you have with your customers. You may want to change the catch phrase to include the website or make it a prodimate part of the add some where.

example:

-You don't have to be a large business to get great computer service

-great computer service from your personal computer geek.

Etc,Etc,etc...

The logo is nice but plain. Try a faded pic behind it or something like this rough draft:

dwf.jpg
 
I agree with Moki as well on the logo. When I created my site I had a graphic designer create a logo for me. Didn't cost much and is much better than I could ever have done.

marchpools.jpg
 
Feel free to use my catch phrase " * No Problems too big ** No Job too small * "
I do some comp work on the side my customer base runs from corporate (Manpower Inc.) to my neighbor's next door. Which means I will do anything from installing a network system to installing a driver. Remeber service is what sells
 
Ok, so what would you all think about a contest for the best logo?
Don't start designing yet, it's just a thought....

Dave ;)
 
Everyone has made very valid points, Dave. The one I would 100% look into is a true logo. And, the ad, while informative, is a bit wordy. People tend to not read an ad if there's too much info. Also, go with a smaller, less expensive ad. I would be willing to bet that even though the distribution is around 20,000, most of that 20,000 will not read the Chamber's business directory, I know I glance at the ones I get and then they become recycled materials. You'd be better off with a bigger ad in the phone book or a re-occuring ad in the classifieds of the local newspaper. It's been a while since my graphic art classes in art school and I didn't really care for them, but I did learn a bit about effective advertising. You don't neccesarily need a professional to work up a logo, but, you do need something a bit more eye-appealing. One bit of research you could do is to look at some of the lawn care ads that are in your local phonebook. If it's anything liek ours, there will be a ton of them. See which ones catch your eye and then compare what you have to it. Good luck with it!
 
Dave
Here's my 2 cents. All of the above. (Maybe there's no need to read the rest.)

I'm not a designer but dabble in it out of necessity. I've always wanted a print ad or brochure that would jump off the page, grab people by the throat, and make them pick up the phone. I haven't found it yet. However, whenever I can I find a designer, either because I have the budget or I've found someone to donate time, to do stuff rather than doing it in house I'm always happier, and I think I do good stuff.


Here's a few more random thoughts:

I am part of a small not for profit organization, we had a logo designed for us. 25 years later people are still commenting how good it is.

This being in an ad book I'd probably skip over it. It would take me way too long to read it all. It's all good info but too much for me to want to read.

KISS - keep it simple stupid. It always surprises me how effective blank space is. Cause I'm paying for space I always want to fill it up. Usually it's a mistake.

I think, I don't have stats to back it up, eye appeal is as important or more so than content. That being said...

Benefits, Benefits, Benefits!

Again, I don't know the stats, but from personal experience 1/4 page is nearly as effective as 1/2 page. Dixie is right.


I think every marketer I've talked to says develop a 10 word (or less) statement. As tired of that as I am, they're right.

Oh, and if you want your picture on it you should probably be holding a dog or a baby. :)

Can you ask for ad placement on the page? Ask Dixie or someone the best placement, that too makes a difference.

And lastly, all this advice is free so take it fo what it is worth.

Hope this ad and your business are a great success.

t/c
 
Alright Dave, I talked to a good friend of mine who is a professional graphic artist. She's going to produce 6 logos for you, some that are visual, some that are just textual. The only requirement I gave her is that they have to include "DWF Computers" and they should look good in b/w or color, small on a business card, or large on an ad.

She'll have them done in under 2 weeks, hopefully under 1 week. I don't know what your timeframe for the ad is, but even if they miss this ad, she'll come up with some great stuff for you. If you saw the business card I included in the bomb I sent you, she designed that (but not our logo).

When they are done, I'll send along hires versions of them to you -- you can pick whatever logo you want (or none of them) for your use. She does good stuff, I think you'll have a nice selection to choose from.
 
Much good advice here.
Do you know who is doing the printing, Dave? Most small town books are done by small town printers. You may be getting "the pro from Dover" but you also may be getting "Clydes got a press and must be a printer". Your artwork needs to be "camera ready". Photo, if there is one, needs to be screened. If they do direct film output then a 133 line screen will look real nice but if they shoot directly from your copy you need to go with a more coarse screen say, 80 line. If they will halftone your pic in the shop then a super high res b/w photo will be perfect. If you are going with the multi color ad, color separations should be done. Don't leave anything up to the printer.
When you're choosing a logo, stay away from complicated screens and color combo's. At some point in the future you may need to have a brochure, letterhead, bc's or envelopes printed and if you've got the graphic artist from hell that thinks 6 colors, hairline traps, and screens out the wazoo are effective you'll be in trouble. It will cost a fortune to have this sort of thing reproduced and when done in small runs it will rarely meet your quality expectations. Not that I'm against this sort of graphic artistry, shoot, I see one of these things walk in the door and I know the rents paid for the next two months.

NA

Oh yeah, in your ad, tell the other chamber members what you're going to do for them, and only them, because they are chamber members. Give aways sell.
 
SamClemmons said:
... because they are chamber members. Give aways sell...
Even though that is coming from my nemesis, I must say that is very good advice.

As an example, earlier this week while visiting Dallas, I gave a 1-day free consultation to a prospective client. They had a problem that needed to be solved right away. My visit was one of these "give-aways" that Neal is talking about.

When I got back to my hotel room that evening to check my e-mail, the prospective client had already e-mailed me a general service agreement.

So if you are going after companies that have the potential to be repeat customers, an intitial free visit that solves a problem for them can potentially lead to a continued and profitable relationship for your service business.

4A
 
The number ONE resource you can get for youself is:

The Non-designers Design Book available at Amazon.com It is relatively inexpensive and will give you a crash course in design work for a multiple of occassions including advertising.

Robin Williams Design Workshop is another great resource - covering a bit more and some awesome examples but should be secondary to the above book.

This isn't just for you Dave, but anyone interested in this stuff ;)

Sam
 
Dave,
there's plenty of AD specific advice, so I won't add my own two cents there. I'll just say that you've had some great offers for help and assistance here. If you decide not to take the advice or decide to continue ahead on your own, try this: go to a large phone book and slowly browse through the yellow pages. Don't look for the ads that just catch your eye - look for the ads that catch your eye and would lead you to seek out the ad owner for service. Then, work off that design!

I think if you do that and find a nice outline, work with the pros here, and keep an open mind, you'll be off and running (with a head start) in no time flat for relatively little output.

BTW: LOVE THE LOGO CONTEST IDEA!
 
Geez - LOTS of advice. Well, I have a couple people now willing to try to put together some decent logos. Gentlemen, I truly appreciate it :love: . I have about one month before this has to be turned in, so there's no HUGE rush.

Once I have a few logo's to choose from, perhaps I'll have a poll or something to get the general consensus of what's best. Once that's complete, I'll try to create a complimentary color scheme and re-do the ad.

In keeping with the 1/2 page layout (yeah yeah, I know - but I'm still doing a 1/2 page), does anyone have some specific design ideas that they would receommend?

Thanks to everyone for their great advice!
Dave ;)
 
Hi Dave,

Brave but smart of you to post your request for help here. I design add layouts as well as patches and logo's for our FD, as well as for the family business that I just sold (www.milkdelivery.com) and have learned a few things in the process.

I agree with getting a good logo....I designed one and thought it could be improved no more and then had my uncle (a graphics arts specialist) look at it and he took it places that impressed the hell out of me.

Second is your layout. Try to keep the number of different fonts that you use to a minimun. Too many disratact and it looks less organized. Same goes for too many colors. I would also stretch out your web address accross the bottom. It might be a little to short.

Most places that deal in advertising have professional layout people working for them. If you give them a logo and a rough idea of what you want, they will redo your layout and send it to you for approval for free. This may be available to you through the company you want to advertise with. Good luck Dave, you are on the right track!

Darin
 
Hey everyone - I haven't heard anything other then the great logo I did receive from Bond. This is what he sent...
dwflogo.gif


Just to give everyone an idea of what he was thinking (I hope I'm not stepping on his toes here) this was the included message:

Dave,

Attached is a logo that I beleive will stand out. I took you lilac theme and incorporated it into the logo itself. I made something that will be very inexpensive to print - only two colors with no shading, though it retains a sense of depth and dimention.

I wanted to make something informal (and therefore freehand). Your business is a personal service. You serve people often time when they're having computer issues. When in this situation, people want to be comforted and reassured, not met with something stern and sterile (kind of an advantage you have over the moder tech call centers - maybe you should advertize this point). Yet, your being a member of the chamber balances the informality with business savvy -so you don't seem like a goof-off :)

I used the terminal font. Still, in my opinion, the best font for this kind of logo (and I have 1000's of fonts).

The flat pannel shows you're up-to-date.

...and though no one would get this conciously (or even otherwise :) )- the "DWF" is IN the monitor, like you're IN computers. Artists always think of this subconcious stuff.

Of course, it is entirely possible that you'll hate it. If you do, please tell me. We're not really clients and we have a dozen other guys with ideas.
Even though I do this professionally, that doesn't mean a BOTL won't come up with a better design! :D Utilize your free resource.

If and when you want help with you ad, I'll need to know a bit more about you company.

Cheers,
BO

I like it, but it doesn't have to be just one color. I have a small enough client base and live in a small enough community that, besides this one ad, all of my promotional materials have been printed on my own color printer.

I'm not going to be around much here for about a week (sorry, it can't be helped), but please feel free to post here or email any suggestions or sample logo's. I can be reached at "Dave @ GreatComputerService.com".

Thanks again to everyone for their great advice!
Dave ;)
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Top