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Is it me?

It was easy to manage when most of the members actually new one another and had ventured to herf's near and far to share drink and smoke. Most of us had each others addresses and phone numbers and knew how to use them. I've shared friendships with many people across the United States from this cigar board and others.

I can't say that I know half of the people that post here now and I'm being conservative... its prob more like 75%. Clashes from the "give it to me now" members are prob just as AVB said, no more than usual, we just have more members. Paint a bullseye on yourself and expect target practice.

Anyone that has been here at CP for more than a year (and most "get it" sooner) understand what some us refer to as "get it" There's no real definition of "get it". You either do or you don't.
 
I joined CP in Nov. 04. I read alot but didn't "get it" Until My brother came to DC in Nov 05. He had a Herf with I think 13 members at Shelly's Back Room. "My favorite bar" After meeting the members I decided to give it a second chance. Boy I am glad I did. I am HOOKED. I read on CP everyday now. I have met some great BOTL in Minneapolis, Martinsburg, and in VA. And Vegas in May ;)

I guess what I am trying to say is give the new guy a chance. They might not get it right away, but if they hang around long enough they will. At least most of them.

And Steve, Thanks Bro :p

CC, please PM me if my grammer aint to good :D Just kidding, but I can edit :whistling:
 
This isn't a cigar store, it's a bunch of close friends that share a common love and passion. And, as with any bunch of close friends, they do things the way they like, as they have done for a long time. Close friends are generous to a fault with each other, and skeptical of anyone new. You don’t make close friends in a week or a month…..not even a year. I still consider myself a “BOTL in training” and I take that as a complement, actually.

Why this is so hard for so many of the new guys to fathom, I do not understand.

My $00.02 - B.B.S.
 
Simple philosophy in life and on the boards “treat others how you want to be treated” aka the golden rule. Don’t come here expecting anything or wanting anything. Just come here to learn and have fun! If you live by that, 1) half the problems we are having here wouldn’t be here and 2) everything else the FOG’s are talking about will come in due time.

Just my thoughts...take it or leave it.
 
It's wild that anyone would think this a cigar store however, that being said I visit this site a minimum of 5 times a day and most times don't post but I do see a lot of newbies who have attitude. I believe in most cases that age has a lot to do with it, weren't we all brash to a certain degree when we were young? Didn't we clash with the older crowd? Most of these young guys won't hang aroung this site long but you vets here should take some of this kids under your wing and teach em a thing or two not just about cigars but about life.

Befriend a punk I say and he may yet grow into a FOG.
 
AVB said:
With an ever increasing membership it is harder to know the newer members as well as you did the older ones. Also, with this increase will come more of the "instant gratifacation" guys. I don't think it is a greater percentage of what it used to be but it is a greater number and we tend to key in on people who are like that so it seems that they are here more when it really is about the same ratio as before.
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AVB hit the nail on the head.

1. The sign of the times, being instant gratification
2. More and more new members*
3. The dynamics and sensitivities of the community change as a result of both of the above

Keep on what we're doing but be mindful of the changes. Eject the truly bad seeds and cultivate those with potential (as wasy suggests). Keep talking cigars and making friends one man at a time. This last point is more relevant now than when there were far fewer members.

Wilkey

*It took the first 18 months for CP (according to the new membership list) to gather 500 members. The last 18 months have seen the addition of over 1,500.
 
Note that this is coming from a newbie...

I didn't know what to expect when I signed on here. I posted some, read a lot, and was welcomed in to the group. Everyone here has been more than kind to me.

To me that is instant gratification.
 
I like have the asshats here. I like the way they sizzle when they hit the pan.

NA
 
I came to this board to learn more about cigars. (good ones, types, and brands) But I didn't even know that "getting" was an option. For me gaining the knowledge of cigars was worth more than "getting". But of course, "getting" would be great but I've only been here a couple of months. And I read more than post. I want to learn the "pecking order" before trying trades or buys. This is just my $0.02! :)
 
You are always going to see a number of people looking to score hard to finds and other cigars without paying their dues. This problem is not unique to CP. I have seen this so many times over at CF because people think if they go to the Fuente website, they will be able to buy Opus at msrp any time they want.

There are people who go from board to board with different handles looking for these kinds of cigars to either sell to their buddies (for a profit) or to sell them on Yahoo.

The most common thing I have seen is the college guy who represents a smoking club, and doing the leg work to score for his buddies. They look for Cubans and other hard to finds and when they score they make money and look like players to their friends.

It is up to each of us to explain the facts of life to these people and let them know that kind of behavior is inappropriate.
 
I'm not clear on the difference between Instant Gratification and Premature Ejaculation.
 
The Master said:
It is up to each of us to explain the facts of life to these people and let them know that kind of behavior is inappropriate.
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And that's the sad truth of it all. Stuff that should have been taught to them by their parents is far too often being aggressively resisted by them when other people try to teach. Too many people in this world think that society owes them, and that they can simply demand respect. They have no concept of why it's important to earn it, and why it's important to maintain it mutually as well.

This is an established, and contrary to most people's views a tight knit community. It's not like the rest of the web, where you can bounce from place to place when you get in trouble, your actions (and reactions) will eventually catch up to just like in real life...
 
I really don't know what the heck is going on in society today. Maybe I'm getting too old, but...

My daughter (15 yr old) and I are having a heated discussion about limits. She feels there should be none because she's 15. She believes that I should blindly trust her to make the right decisions.

During that discussion, she said that I had to "respect" her. I told her I did - she told me I didn't. As that line of reasoning went on, my daughter blurted out, "But Dad, we're equals!". I asked here where she ever got that idea. She said her teacher told her that... I was stunned. I told her we couldn't possibly be equal - I was the parent / she was the child. She was devestated...

When mom came home she ran crying to her (I'm not exagerating - she was REALLY upset) and asked my wife, "Mom. Are we equals?" Not having be briefed by me about our earlier discussion, my wife said to her, "I would hope not!" My daughter ran off to her room crying...

Since that time I've tried to reason with her about what being "equal" means in terms of parent and child. I THINK she gets it, but I'm really not sure... But through all of this I really want to strangle the teacher who planted that idea in her head...

Where the hell is this coming from??? ???
 
A lot of it is a problem with the schools and the generation of teachers entering those schools. A lot of them are jusst given way too much to handle discipline-wise. The way they have been educated for the most part encourages misbehavior. Self esteem based teaching throughout the 90s up to today is really hurting that generation of kids.

I wouldn't be surprised if this notion was also picked up from some of her friends' parents, er I mean some of her friends' "friends".

It seems that if you demand respect and discipline from your children these days you are seen as old-fashioned or barbaric to some degree.

I hear parents at my son's pre school (he's 3) talk about how guilty they feel when they discipline their child for doing something wrong and that they don't want their kids to be mad at them! What in the heck is that about!?? It is their job to discipline their children and steer them in the proper direction.

My kid will probably hate my guts for most of his life :), but in the end he'll thank me. Just like I thanked my father.

I think it all started years ago when psychologists and the like started to write books about raising "happy" children and treating children as little adults.

Cripes!! I'm 30 years old and talking like an old fart! (Kids today...) :)

To get this back to topic a little. . .I think this entitlement mentality is somewhat generational. I've seen it in every aspect of life from people in my age group and younger. As a group, we've pretty much always had it all and had it all right now. Some of those that don't know any better will never learn, others will learn the hard way.

It can all be linked to the vast prosperity of the last 25-30 years or so when even the bad times weren't all that bad for most people.

My nickels worth. . .
 
ggiese said:
I really don't know what the heck is going on in society today. Maybe I'm getting too old, but...

My daughter (15 yr old) and I are having a heated discussion about limits. She feels there should be none because she's 15. She believes that I should blindly trust her to make the right decisions.

During that discussion, she said that I had to "respect" her. I told her I did - she told me I didn't. As that line of reasoning went on, my daughter blurted out, "But Dad, we're equals!". I asked here where she ever got that idea. She said her teacher told her that... I was stunned. I told her we couldn't possibly be equal - I was the parent / she was the child. She was devestated...

When mom came home she ran crying to her (I'm not exagerating - she was REALLY upset) and asked my wife, "Mom. Are we equals?" Not having be briefed by me about our earlier discussion, my wife said to her, "I would hope not!" My daughter ran off to her room crying...

Since that time I've tried to reason with her about what being "equal" means in terms of parent and child. I THINK she gets it, but I'm really not sure... But through all of this I really want to strangle the teacher who planted that idea in her head...

Where the hell is this coming from??? ???
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Whewwwww, hormone hell, George.

It may come as a shock to you, but I've heard that there are a few tree hugging, SUV bashing, anti-competition, self esteem at all costs liberals in the class room.

BTW, have you been following the Jay Benish "geography" teacher thing here in Denver?
 
Well, to this point I will say I have not given my 0.02. Frankly, because nobody asked. But I do want to point out that there are some of us newbies that do enjoy this forum and get a great deal from it. I find the endless information fascinating. I enjoy the trades and the buys, but I'm really hear to sit and learn. I was raised on the paddle and to respect my elders (be it in age or experience) and I hope that reflects in my actions here and everywhere I go. And there are more of us than you think.

I just wanted to let you all know that there are those of us that really do appreciate your time and effort in creating CP. So don't give up on us!

n
 
nfulton said:
Well, to this point I will say I have not given my 0.02. Frankly, because nobody asked. But I do want to point out that there are some of us newbies that do enjoy this forum and get a great deal from it. I find the endless information fascinating. I enjoy the trades and the buys, but I'm really hear to sit and learn. I was raised on the paddle and to respect my elders (be it in age or experience) and I hope that reflects in my actions here and everywhere I go. And there are more of us than you think.

I just wanted to let you all know that there are those of us that really do appreciate your time and effort in creating CP. So don't give up on us!

n
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In contrast - don't give up on the FOG's. Some have a seemingly brash attitude, leaving some to wonder how the heck they've been around here so long. It's actually pretty easy to understand - they're true stand up people - even though you may not recognize it, otherwise they would've been chased out of here long ago... ;)
 
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