How to stay married!

[junkman_56]

Im not married but Im sure that the biggest obstacle is knowing when to admit you are wrong, which us guys dont have to worry about because we are never wrong....

I've been married for 24 years and trust me, it's the wife who is NEVER wrong.
Anything else leads to hours of discussion.

You call it 'discussion'? :laugh:

LOL...

Well, it DOES tend to be rather one sided. :laugh:

 

[souldog]

From this point forward, they bleed every 28 days to remind them of the oath they signed in blood!

:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

I laughed so hard when I read that!! I had to read the threada to my wife so she'd understand, and I read that line to her and she just busted up! WELL DONE!!! :thumbs:

 

[TheHit]

Make sure you marry the right one to start with... if they drive you crazy before you get married, don't expect that to change after you get married.

 

[JHolmes763]

How's the saying go? Men get married hoping the women never changes and women get married hoping they can change the man... something like that!

 

[Dr. Marneaus]

I'm glad I'll be married to my job for a while!

 

[5 O'Clock Somewhere]

I'm glad I'll be married to my job for a while!

Hung over today?

 

[Dr. Marneaus]

Nope, only had 2 mojitos and 5 beers.

 

[5 O'Clock Somewhere]

Nope, only had 2 mojitos and 5 beers.

Sounds like a good night to me!

 

[mustangbobo]

You are always wrong, you were never right, if you were right, drop it. It is easier to ask forgivness than permission. A satisfied woman is a less bitchy woman. A little give and take on both sides. I love being married.

 

[mysterea]

Oh, another thought:
Marriage is all about finding the kind of crazy you can deal with. If ya got that you're all good!

 

[MandyPi]

WOMEN…..
1. My mother is not married.
2. My two sisters are separated.
3. Wife and I have been married for seven years.
4. I have two daughters.
5. Between my wife, my mother, my sisters, and my daughters, my honey due list is as long as Santa Claus’s wish list.


What do you think? Has my circumstances in life not forced me to learn how to deal with women. (Pleaseeee….somebody help….they have me locked in a box.)

 

[jfields]

From this point forward, they bleed every 28 days to remind them of the oath they signed in blood!

Never trust anything that bleeds for five days and doesn't die.

 

[markmarksman]

Now you tell me! :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

 

[gtadroptop]

I'm glad I'll be married to my job for a while!

Uh huh. Dead man walking.

They sneak up on you when you're distracted and the next thing you know you wake up five years later wondering what the hell happened.

 

[Shooter]

If it flies, floats or fucks, you're better off renting it.

When you are renting it, you're not paying for a piece of ass, you're paying for her to leave when you're done.

 

[imaman]

Never, ever forget her birthday, the anniversary ,valentines day , mothers day, or any other important ( to her) occasion .

Gerard.

 

[handyman dave]

"Yes honey!"
"I'll be glad to dear!"
"What can I do to help?"
"Thank you!"
"I'm sorry."
"Have I told you lately that I love you!"

I try to use all of these regularly and have for many years.

My first wife left me after 13 years, the second after 20. Now if I just get the third to not leave me for 27 years (13+7=20+7=27) I'll be 82 and I hope I won't care if she can't stand me anymore! LOL!

 

[hudsonvalley]

The secret to a happy relationship is getting the air pressure just right.
thus

 

[seadub]

Two words. Yes dear.

True. True.

 

[Aeroscott]

If it flies, floats or fucks, you're better off renting it.

When you are renting it, you're not paying for a piece of ass, you're paying for her to leave when you're done.

Words to Live by.. :laugh: