• Hi Guest - Come check out all of the new CP Merch Shop! Now you can support CigarPass buy purchasing hats, apparel, and more...
    Click here to visit! here...

Cabaiguan Juan, Santa wants a word

Secret Santa

Secret Santa

CEO, North Pole Inc.
Joined
Nov 25, 2002
Messages
5,117
@cabaiguan juan

I have a special spot in my lap just for you! Why don't you come on over and tell Santa what you want for Christmas? And when you aren't smoking those nasty, stinky cigars, what else do you like to do? Or maybe you have kids that need constantly entertained? A long-suffering wife that could use a pick me up? A pet rodent of some kind that loves exotic nuts?
 
Santa, how is ozempic treating you? Still want cookies or are you moving onto a celery stick with some peanut butter?
I’m smoking the nasty nasty. Pure Nicaraguan gold. I’m basically a hero (lower case h) and a perpetual student. One day I’ll be done with hire education but I don’t know when. Makes hobbies a bit limited to the A and the T in the ATF.
Needy kids- check. Long suffering wife- check. The pet is less rodentish and more dog-ish, though rest assured that a gift for me, is a gift for her.

So, what is it that you want to know?
 
Now Jon, there's no need to be shy! Wiggle on down into my welcoming lap, then wiggle some more just for fun, and tell me what you like (or don't).

Maybe you're a broadleaf guy - once you go black you never go back!

Maybe you're a size queen - gotta hit both sides so the bigger the better!

Maybe you're a cougar hunter - the older ones know what they have to offer, after all!

Or the opposite of any of those might be the case. You just gotta let Santa know what floats your particular boat.

Maybe if you could let ol' Santa know what some recent cigars that have been hits for you have been, the elves could do a little research and try to find a common factor to look into.

Is there anything you like to drink with your cigars, or separately?

Does the doggo like to chew on things? I can make Fat Freddy, my head candy maker elf, wear a pair of shoes for a couple days to get them nice and stinky. Or if it's not a chewer maybe just some yummies would be good to have.

How many and how old are the kiddos? As you know, things change quickly and they might be perfectly happy with farm store ponies today and want a brand new PlayStation tomorrow!

Just snuggle on down into Santa's lap a little bit more (please!), and let him know what would be a nice Christmas bonus for the family.

Santa promises not to give you a jelly of the month club membership.

Unless you don't help out a little bit here.
 
Santa, I’m in deep with several brands but I’m very light in some others that I like: Roma Craft, Padron, LFD, BWS/BLTC, Opus/Anejo, Davidoff, Illusione.
I like tequila and bourbon.
I’m a nurse so I enjoy gadgets and gizmos that I can use at work.
I got a wife who likes soccer and cooking wine and relaxation- her job is seriously serous so she takes her self care seriously too.
I have an 8 year old boy who loves Adele and music. A 10 year old boy who loves Liverpool Football Club and specifically Virgil Van Dyke. Both love legos and books.
my dog loves treat and tennis balls. Scratches behind the ears and sniffing.

I’ll take whatever you got. Prioritize my family over me if possible.
I appreciate you
 
Well, Jon, I'm sorry to say the elves outsourced part of the gift and the dolts at USPS have cemented their position on the naughty list by losing track of it, so your lovely wife's share will be coming separately, and later. But the rest of the stuff is heading out tomorrow, and unless the folks at UPS want to join the postmen on the naughty list, they'd better take good care of it!

 
Santa, I’m sorry that USPS lived up to their reputation. Thank you for intervening. We will look forward to it all when it comes.
 
If you can't figure out my secret identity, Jon, there's just no hope for you. It may not be quite as obvious as that dope Superman, who just puts on some nerdy glasses and thinks no one will recognize him, but it's not really too far off of that, either. I bet if you looked at the tracking, and the member map, you'd piece it together. And if that doesn't give it away, then you'll just have to live in perpetual ignorance.

I hope you enjoy the cigars - I kept some of each for myself as well, to try when the weather warms up here at the Pole, since most of them I hadn't had either. I guess I'll find out whether you have good taste or not!
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top