Cabaiguan Juan, Santa wants a word

[Secret Santa]

@cabaiguan juan

I have a special spot in my lap just for you! Why don't you come on over and tell Santa what you want for Christmas? And when you aren't smoking those nasty, stinky cigars, what else do you like to do? Or maybe you have kids that need constantly entertained? A long-suffering wife that could use a pick me up? A pet rodent of some kind that loves exotic nuts?

 

[cabaiguan juan]

Santa, how is ozempic treating you? Still want cookies or are you moving onto a celery stick with some peanut butter?
I’m smoking the nasty nasty. Pure Nicaraguan gold. I’m basically a hero (lower case h) and a perpetual student. One day I’ll be done with hire education but I don’t know when. Makes hobbies a bit limited to the A and the T in the ATF.
Needy kids- check. Long suffering wife- check. The pet is less rodentish and more dog-ish, though rest assured that a gift for me, is a gift for her.

So, what is it that you want to know?

 

[Secret Santa]

Now Jon, there's no need to be shy! Wiggle on down into my welcoming lap, then wiggle some more just for fun, and tell me what you like (or don't).

Maybe you're a broadleaf guy - once you go black you never go back!

Maybe you're a size queen - gotta hit both sides so the bigger the better!

Maybe you're a cougar hunter - the older ones know what they have to offer, after all!

Or the opposite of any of those might be the case. You just gotta let Santa know what floats your particular boat.

Maybe if you could let ol' Santa know what some recent cigars that have been hits for you have been, the elves could do a little research and try to find a common factor to look into.

Is there anything you like to drink with your cigars, or separately?

Does the doggo like to chew on things? I can make Fat Freddy, my head candy maker elf, wear a pair of shoes for a couple days to get them nice and stinky. Or if it's not a chewer maybe just some yummies would be good to have.

How many and how old are the kiddos? As you know, things change quickly and they might be perfectly happy with farm store ponies today and want a brand new PlayStation tomorrow!

Just snuggle on down into Santa's lap a little bit more (please!), and let him know what would be a nice Christmas bonus for the family.

Santa promises not to give you a jelly of the month club membership.

Unless you don't help out a little bit here.