Apologies

[NASTY]

You mean Sweetrice? Don't pay him no mind. He's always stickin' his nose where it don't belong. That boy ain't learned nothing in the time he's been here.

Doc.

My sentiments exactly. Let the established members here handle this. No need for the newer guys to try and be superhero.

 

[mmburtch]

.


As for Matty, he took his ball and went away.
Now you expect him to be greated with open arms? Pllllllleeeeeaaassse!

He had his chance and chose to walk away. Fine, stay away.

This is the point that needs to be made. He gave a "poor me, I'm leaving and never coming back" post, a halfhearted apology at best, and thoroughly fugged up something that is TOTALLY INEXCUSABLE! No number of backhanded apologies followed by "I'm taking my ball and going home" posts, make screwing up Secret Santa right....I don't care who you are.....

David, he gave up his second chance with the "poor me, I'm leaving" post....you don't just waltz back into CP's arms after throwing up the middle finger and saying "F@ck You!

This right here is my second main point of concern. The first is giving no real explanation for working over SS the way he did. Now, I understand that there may be some issues that are private in nature, but he could have worked it out with NorCal.

I am all for second chances, but IMHO, he took his second chance and drug it out the door along with his ball......

Again in this thread we are starting to see newer members trying to weigh in on matters that may be best left alone. We all have opinions, and we are all entitled to them, we are not however, pause for effect, entitled on this board to throw them around. That right is earned, not given with your membership.

Ever wonder how you would feel about this 2nd, 3rd, or what ever number of apology this is if you were the one that was wronged last December?


Just my thoughts, wanted or not....

Tim

You mean Sweetrice? Don't pay him no mind. He's always stickin' his nose where it don't belong. That boy ain't learned nothing in the time he's been here.

Doc.

Everything here is spot on in my opinion. We're all big boys and girls, and have the right to pick and choose who we want to hang out with (family and soulpuppy excluded). If you want to be Matty's new BFF, go for it. Most of us are going to wait and see if he is willing to answer Moki's question, baring that explanation, nothing else really matters to me.

barring imo

Good point. I would like to go on record that there is no part of Matty I want to see bared.

 

[tomthirtysix]

Seems to me, he didn't want to apologize at all:

I got caught lurking a while ago and spoke to Rod, actually he reached out to, being the class act he is, I was not aware I had to apologize to everyone. apology coming soon.

 

[ggiese]

Regardless of what he did in the past, he is not going to please everyone. Yes he should have handle things differently and he may never get some guys respect back. But I believe everyone is deserving of a second chance. If someone does not feel that his apologies were good enough for you (in a general sense) then simply just do not say anything, unless a newer situation came up that needs addressed. I however believe in second chances, I have looked back through his history, he seemed like a stand up guy that a lot of people looked up to. He should get a chance to make that same kind of impact in the future and to educated others on how not to make his mistakes. Lets just let Matt start a new leaf whether you agree or not, there is no point in beating a dead horse on old issues that he already apologize for.

David

David, brother, pal, old friend....

So a guy comes to your house, takes your signficant other, beats the dog, and sets fire to your porch. You gonna welcome him back with open arms a few months later?

I'm so glad you're say you're such a "level head" and can forgive under all circumstances - but I truly don't think your approach to forgiveness is very widely accepted. Aas a matter of fact, I'd bet paychecks your significant other would not buy your forgiveness strategy if taken by some chump at your house. Truly - that philosphy does not serve the best interests of this community.

If someone forgets to put a comma into a sentence - "Hey - I'm sorry! Ok?" works just fine. But if someone screws the pooch on one of the biggest events in CP's year - well - that deserves a bit of a different kind of apology. I would say it was more along on lines of what Andrew (Moki) and Jim (Half Full Monty) are talking about. Honest and heartfelt remorse for totally screwing the pooch...

Quite frankly - matty has been around these parts long enough to know what he's offering is not going to be bought. So - he can either continue to try to wholesale his apology - or he can pay the price he knows he must pay to be accepted back in this community.

 

[Devil Doc]

George, there's some things only experience and maturity can cure. He has neither. Nice post though.

Doc

 

[Sweetrice80]

Doc so you mean that no one here is allow their opinions?? You seem to have yours, very much. I value each and everyone opinion I truly do, even yours Doc. What is wrong with me allowing to chime in to say that I can forgive someone? I mention before that some people will never be over this situation and that no matter if he says exactly what you want him to say, you still would not forgive him. I believe peoples biggest fears and weakness is simply being a forgiving person. Hell, Pope John Paul II did when someone shot him. I am not saying that I would welcome that person back into my house with open arms, but I am going to stop that individual's, second chance. It frustrates me that when older members seem to talk down to younger members, just like Doc did to me. We always mention that we should treat this board like adults, Doc does not think I am. Do I care, not really. But do I hate the man for it, not at all. Do I believe I am an adult? Yes, I do. Quite frankly that is the only thing that matters to me. No one, but a few know me outside these words we speak on CP, what action have I done to do be called an "non-adult" individual? Yes, I have spoken up in the past about disabilities against wiliky, that had everyone backing wiliky(if that spelled correct). If I can remember correctly, thats when Doc chimed in claiming I have alot of learning to do, before I become an adult. Do I have learning to do, Sure the hell I do, each and everyone of us do. But does that mean I am not and adult?? I do not think so. I only chime in when I feel passion about somthing, like forgiveness and disablities. I may not have the greatest words to speak, but I will not back down from those, and I will strive to get better in english, writing and speaking.

Furthermore, does everyone need to forgive Matty, absolutely not. Do I, Yes. Does that mean that I am going do any deals with him any time soon. Nope, I know what hes done in the past I would be cautions about it (buyer beware). If I was running SS, would I allow him back into it? No, I would not. He needs to work to earn that kind of respect back. He very well may never earn that respect back.


Lastly, I would like to say that it was never my intentions to stir the pot, but to merely give my aspect on it, as a person that forgives him. I was never questioning anyone's opinions. If some of you read it that way, or if I wrote it in a way that seemed like I did. I am sorry. Point is, an opinion may not be valued to you, does not mean its not valued to others, even if it is the minority.

David

The Weak can never forgive, Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong. Mahatma Gandhi

 

[AVB]

How about getting off the high horse and seeing things as they look like on the ground.

 

[Devil Doc]

Rice, your post only serves to prove my point. Your idealism is a manifestation of your inexperience and immaturity.

Doc.

 

[moki]

The Weak can never forgive, Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong. Mahatma Gandhi

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.

My point isn't not allowing for forgiveness, but rather ensuring that the person is deserving of it. A simple explanation as I've asked for I think is both reasonable and warranted. I could care less if he falls on his sword again; I think we deserve to hear an explanation.

</done>

 

[Matty_Vegas]

The whole Secret Santa SNAFU was based on thing, my pride. I lost my job and was embarrassed. I drug my feet with the whole thing becuase of that embarassment (dont bust me on spelling)it screwed everything up. My kid was pleased when he did finally get his package, this does not excuse for how long it took me to get it out to him at all. I have grown up alot since this whole thing happened. This whole line of "why didnt you contact Norcal and just bit the bullet. The bottom line is that I just did not have the cajones to do it. And I fully accept responsibility for that. I would like to say that it will never happen again, but that doesn't solve anything. I do understand that my inability to bite the bullet caused all of this. I respect Andrews opinion and for the most part he is right. I am not looking to jump right back in and start making trades and whatnot, that would be presumptous of me to do that. I am not going to give a "poor me" speach and beg forgiveness, but I will admit that I could have handed things better, and for that I am legitimately sorry, honestly and truely.

 

[tone-ny]

The whole Secret Santa SNAFU was based on thing, my pride. I lost my job and was embarrassed. I drug my feet with the whole thing becuase of that embarassment (dont bust me on spelling)it screwed everything up. My kid was pleased when he did finally get his package, this does not excuse for how long it took me to get it out to him at all. I have grown up alot since this whole thing happened. This whole line of "why didnt you contact Norcal and just bit the bullet. The bottom line is that I just did not have the cajones to do it. And I fully accept responsibility for that. I would like to say that it will never happen again, but that doesn't solve anything. I do understand that my inability to bite the bullet caused all of this. I respect Andrews opinion and for the most part he is right. I am not looking to jump right back in and start making trades and whatnot, that would be presumptous of me to do that. I am not going to give a "poor me" speach and beg forgiveness, but I will admit that I could have handed things better, and for that I am legitimately sorry, honestly and truely.

Well why didn't you say this to start of with, it would have avoided all the other BS.

Matty you've been here long enough to know how it works. We all make mistakes we just have to own up to them and take our medicine so to say.

 

[MadMonk]

I don't understand why this has to be so difficult or debated.

If you choose to forgive and give Matty a second chance, fine. That is a personal choice. You accept the risk, and keep others risk free.

If you choose not to forgive and give a second chance, that is a personal choice.

If someone gives you crap for forgiving and giving a second chance, they are immature.

If someone gives you crap for not forgiving and not giving a second chance, they are immature.

Again, it is a personal choice. If Matty is not banned, then either ban him, or let him stay and choose one of the above, and let it be.

I would think that is Matty was deemed a liability to the community, he would have already been banned.

 

[opusXmarco]

Epic fail at Secret Santa.

Bungled appology.

Goodbye sweet world, you will never see me again.

Forum police caught him lurking, Book him, Dano!

Henceforth this thread, appolgy attempt #2.

If I left anything out, I am sure someone will step up to put things right

Thank you...



I say, hang 'em by the balls.

 

[souldog]

We're all big boys and girls, and have the right to pick and choose who we want to hang out with (family and soulpuppy excluded). If you want to be Matty's new BFF, go for it. Most of us are going to wait and see if he is willing to answer Moki's question, baring that explanation, nothing else really matters to me.

So... ??? If I read this right, I'm pretty much Matt's family, and have open access to visit whenever I want... :0 This new development is quite interesting! :sign: ROAD TRIP!!!!!


Sweetbread, you know I like you brother, but you need to just slowwww down and get off the train dude, because you're gonna crash soon.

This is the exact same crap that we saw a few weeks ago of, "Well the 'FOGs' can say what they want, so why can't I? Aren't I entitled to my own opinion too?!? I'm a person too, and this is America!!" Yes, we newbie's are entitled to our own opinion, but that respect to share it is EARNED, not given. There's a reason why Doc, Ray, Moki, and George (who I am glad is back) do their thing. Just for one second, realize that they've maintained the integrity of this place for YEARS before we even showed up. Entitlement doesn't get anybody anywhere.

I just don't get it... We just had a front row seat lesson a few weeks ago.

 

[Sweetrice80]

We're all big boys and girls, and have the right to pick and choose who we want to hang out with (family and soulpuppy excluded). If you want to be Matty's new BFF, go for it. Most of us are going to wait and see if he is willing to answer Moki's question, baring that explanation, nothing else really matters to me.

So... ??? If I read this right, I'm pretty much Matt's family, and have open access to visit whenever I want... :0 This new development is quite interesting! :sign: ROAD TRIP!!!!!


Sweetbread, you know I like you brother, but you need to just slowwww down and get off the train dude, because you're gonna crash soon.

This is the exact same crap that we saw a few weeks ago of, "Well the 'FOGs' can say what they want, so why can't I? Aren't I entitled to my own opinion too?!? I'm a person too, and this is America!!" Yes, we newbie's are entitled to our own opinion, but that respect to share it is EARNED, not given. There's a reason why Doc, Ray, Moki, and George (who I am glad is back) do their thing. Just for one second, realize that they've maintained the integrity of this place for YEARS before we even showed up. Entitlement doesn't get anybody anywhere.

I just don't get it... We just had a front row seat lesson a few weeks ago.

Understood Jon, Thank you. All in all, I still have the right to forgive someone, which was exactly what I was doing. Maybe, next time I will just keep it private.

David

 

[souldog]

Understood Jon, Thank you. All in all, I still have the right to forgive someone, which was exactly what I was doing. Maybe, next time I will just keep it private.

David

And, in some ways, you're a better man than myself for being able to forgive someone for deceit and cowardice. Hats off to you, because I have no room in my world for that. Now, let's:

:sign:

 

[moki]

The whole Secret Santa SNAFU was based on thing, my pride. I lost my job and was embarrassed. I drug my feet with the whole thing becuase of that embarassment (dont bust me on spelling)it screwed everything up. My kid was pleased when he did finally get his package, this does not excuse for how long it took me to get it out to him at all. I have grown up alot since this whole thing happened. This whole line of "why didnt you contact Norcal and just bit the bullet. The bottom line is that I just did not have the cajones to do it. And I fully accept responsibility for that. I would like to say that it will never happen again, but that doesn't solve anything. I do understand that my inability to bite the bullet caused all of this. I respect Andrews opinion and for the most part he is right. I am not looking to jump right back in and start making trades and whatnot, that would be presumptous of me to do that. I am not going to give a "poor me" speach and beg forgiveness, but I will admit that I could have handed things better, and for that I am legitimately sorry, honestly and truely.

Thank you! Seriously... I appreciate the candor in your response, and that you made one.

 

[LilBastage]

Understood Jon, Thank you. All in all, I still have the right to forgive someone, which was exactly what I was doing. Maybe, next time I will just keep it private.

David

And, in some ways, you're a better man than myself for being able to forgive someone for deceit and cowardice. Hats off to you, because I have no room in my world for that. Now, let's:

:sign:

Not better, just different. There's nothing inherently good about being able to forgive someone no matter what Deepak Chopra (or Gandhi) says. Defense mechanisms are in place for reasons known only to the possessor.

Personally, I don't give very many second chances to people over the age of 12 for anything other than the most petty transgressions. There comes a time when one should just know better.

 

[MadMonk]

The benefits of forgiveness are only known to the person who can REALize forgiveness. I spent a very large portion of my life trying to get my brain and heart around that word. It is real, and it is powerful. It is also rare. I myself will never chastise a person for trying to live to that ideal. The principle of forgiveness does not inherently mean that one will ever have anything to do with the transgressor again. It means that the one who forgives has experienced an internal release, and has surrendered his animosity, vengeance, ill will, etc. It heals the forgiver, not the transgressor.

 

[ggiese]

The Weak can never forgive, Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong. Mahatma Gandhi

"Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt." Abraham Lincoln

The benefits of forgiveness are only known to the person who can REALize forgiveness. I spent a very large portion of my life trying to get my brain and heart around that word. It is real, and it is powerful. It is also rare. I myself will never chastise a person for trying to live to that ideal. The principle of forgiveness does not inherently mean that one will ever have anything to do with the transgressor again. It means that the one who forgives has experienced an internal release, and has surrendered his animosity, vengeance, ill will, etc. It heals the forgiver, not the transgressor.

Sweetie, david, buddy...

You are in the presence of some incredible advice and insight. You can do two things with it - dismiss it as "disrespectful" - or - abosrb it and use it wisely. I'd choose the latter if I were you...

EDITED TO ADD: Think what you may about Doc - his advice may be pointed and stings, but it is also wise and thoughtful.