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Things you over hear in the walk-in humidor.

Scap

Scap

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Joined
Dec 1, 2012
Messages
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Went to a local B&M Friday night to hang out with a good friend and do our box exchange.

Not being one to use a shop's facilities without making a purchase, I browsed their extensive selection before settling on a pair of Illusione ECCJ.

While in there one of the older gents that had been working the counter steps in and asks if anyone needed any help. There was a pair of mid to late 40's guys that were obviously new to the hobby and not well versed in the lingo.

I was on the other side of the room and I start hearing the hired hand give these guys his own (and wrong) encyclopedia of knowledge.

I learned (enter sarcasm mode) that Maduro meant strong and peppery. Connecticut shade meant it would be mild because of the color. And dark was without a doubt a strong cigar. LFD was way too strong and that double ligero was even worse. (End sarcasm mode)

I wanted to stick around and help the guys out, that counter guy wasn't gonna let go until they bought a cigar.

This was equivalent to the neckbeard giving tactical advice at a gun store.


So, what have you overheard that either caused you to facepalm, or actually step in and educate?
 
Ohh! That's a good one Scap! Nice call. This will result in some solid entertainment!

Here's my story.

I was in NYC, walking along a scrubby side street when I saw a cigar shop sign. I figured I'd take a peek inside. I entered, seeing the classic layout in any side shop in New York: a glorified hallway that doubles as a building. The entire back wall was filled with floor to ceiling cases that were all connected with glass fronts.

Another guy who must be in his early 20's walks in. He walks up to the case next to me, starts looking around. The owner comes over and grunts. The kid turns to him and says "Hey, you got anything Cuban?"

I about started laughing, but held it together with a giant smile waiting for a classic showdown. The owner looks at the cigar wall and looks back at the guy and says "Kid, there ain't nothin' Cuban about any of these cigars. Not one of 'em's got anything to do with Cuban anything."

The guy looks up at the owner wide-eyed, then looks back at the case. "So you got any that TASTE Cuban then?"

"I wouldn't know what a Cuban tastes like kid, cause they're fucking illegal..."

The kid looked back at the wall-case, "Well, this one here says 'Cuban Classic'. Why's it say that if there's 'nothing Cuban about it' like you say"

The store owner about blew his lid at this, "Look kid. There's nothing Cuban about any of these cigars. Nothin."

"Except for the label..." The guy said back, finger still pointing at the Don Pepin Garcia Cuban Classic in the case.

I just about busted a gut and decided to leave before the owner shot the kid. It was hilarious.
 
Never smoke a cigar down to the band...or past it. It's the worst part of the cigar and proves you're a noob.

I only inhale a little bit - just to the back of my throat.
 
I try not to annoy the employees, but I will point someone in the direction of what they're asking about if a new clerk hasn't got the floorplan down.

Too much bad info overheard in the lounge to list a bunch, but one of my favorites is still a young regular who sticks to Macanudos and says "cigars get too strong once you get past half way, and the CA guys never smoke a whole cigar for a review".
 
If anyone of you ever hears anything like that in more store please let me know. I shall beat the correct knowledge into them.

I have heard the plume one though so often I don't even say anything anymore I just leave.
 
whylieineedacigar said:
"It's not mold, it's plume, it develops from years of aging" the funny thing is that I was looking at Las Calaveras 2014 and their hygrometer was reading 75%.
Click to expand...

Beat me to it. The one I heard was: "Wow I'm surprised no one has grabbed up that whole box of AB Tempus with plume all over it!" ...next to the humidifying unit and hygro reading 76%
 
Sounds like a lot of common themes. Gurkhas are the best, Plume not mold, Cuban cigars suck or are way overrated. The only one that ever really made me get a bit
aggresive was a davidoff rep insisting that a shipment of moldy cigars was plume. I called him out, defending my right as a customer, and pulled out the loupe that was always in my pocket. Hard to say little mushrooms are sugar crystals.
 
I was at one of my favorite haunts, yesterday afternoon.

While browsing the Illusione, RoMa Craft and LFD section I hear a lady say to her husband that she didn't recognize anything in there.

Are you freaking kidding me? This is the only real cigar shop in College Station. He's got a good stock of sticks you can hardly find anywhere else.

Guess they were looking for cheap or flavored dog rockets.
 
I was at Holts in Philly many moons ago and persued the store for a few hours. There was this one Old Codger of a salesman in there and every time a customer asked him about a cigar it was magically his favorite, they were gonna love it, can't go wrong with that one, etc. He sold a bunch of cigars.
 
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