souldog
OG Post-Whorer since 2008 bitches...
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Heh, yeah.... Some of the things I find "funny," may not sound so funny once they are posted on an open forum... :whistling:
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The Flaming Piggies Pass 2010
- Thread starter souldog
- Start date
Heh, yeah.... Some of the things I find "funny," may not sound so funny once they are posted on an open forum... :whistling:
b.dawgson
Official BeeDog inductee!
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- Jun 6, 2009
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- 1,499
souldog
OG Post-Whorer since 2008 bitches...
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- Feb 6, 2008
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- 6,211
No I don't, and I'm calling you out. Unacceptable post.
Pucker-factor that, jerk! :laugh:
souldog
OG Post-Whorer since 2008 bitches...
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- Feb 6, 2008
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- 6,211
Damn!
Bsneed51
Habitual Threadjacker!
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- Feb 2, 2008
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A couple of housecleaning items here.
1. Got Q_the_Cops cigars for the pass today. I'll get his takes packaged up and sent off to him tomorrow hopefully.
Q's final puts/takes look like this:
T: Tatuaje Red Tubo P: Ashton VSG Enchantment
T: Tatuaje Porkchop P: Anejo 49
T: Anejo 77 P: Hemingway Untold Story Maduro(he had this listed a Masterpiece, but the Untold is actually more rare)
2. The numbering of the first thread, and the list in the box is off a little bit, so just make sure you are taking the right cigars when the pass gets to you.
3. I should be able to get his pass out in the next day or two, assuming that Mystery Guess Passer #2 is ready. :whistling:
1. Got Q_the_Cops cigars for the pass today. I'll get his takes packaged up and sent off to him tomorrow hopefully.
Q's final puts/takes look like this:
T: Tatuaje Red Tubo P: Ashton VSG Enchantment
T: Tatuaje Porkchop P: Anejo 49
T: Anejo 77 P: Hemingway Untold Story Maduro(he had this listed a Masterpiece, but the Untold is actually more rare)
2. The numbering of the first thread, and the list in the box is off a little bit, so just make sure you are taking the right cigars when the pass gets to you.
3. I should be able to get his pass out in the next day or two, assuming that Mystery Guess Passer #2 is ready. :whistling:
souldog
OG Post-Whorer since 2008 bitches...
- Joined
- Feb 6, 2008
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- 6,211
Hey focker....
Bsneed51
Habitual Threadjacker!
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Time to start using your detective skills Roscoe. Yar!
Bsneed51
Habitual Threadjacker!
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Q: 9405 5036 9930 0183 3498 72
Mystery passer: 9405 5036 9930 0183 3441 98
Jon, thanks for letting me play along.
Also, is my contest not good? If no one is going to enter let me know now, and I'll try to think up something else I guess.
Mystery passer: 9405 5036 9930 0183 3441 98
Jon, thanks for letting me play along.
Also, is my contest not good? If no one is going to enter let me know now, and I'll try to think up something else I guess.
Breedy
Busted
- Joined
- Nov 14, 2007
- Messages
- 2,123
Brent, some times the line between humor and tragedy gets blurred. Things that I find highly amusing would probably be viewed as highly offensive by some, not sure if that is a comment on the profession or the man?
Although, I do have a funny story involving roller-blades, a bathrobe, a katana, and life size stuffed rabbit. :sign:
Swissy
Livin' the retired life!
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- Mar 26, 2005
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- 4,612
oh lord I have so many, where to begin? lemme think about it...
Ok... Mary's fav. I have some others I like better, but Mary asks me to tell this every so often.
We're called one day to a welfare check. Seems a little old lady hasn't seen her neighbor in some time. So, she goes to check on him. She sees him thru a window, laying on the floor of his house. Naturally she calls 911. But she cannot get to the door, as she says on the phone with our dispatcher, as the mans dog is snarling and barking at her at the fence gate and she's terrified of it.
So we go rolling over with lights and siren, and request the assistance of cops and animal control. The cops and my engine show up at the exact same moment. I jump off the rig with my radio in hand in case I have to thump some Rottweiler or German Shepard on the head. There's no dog at the gate. So a cop and I go to the gate, me with my radio and I swear the cop had his gun half drawn out of the holster. We can see the guy, and he's face down on the floor, not moving. So the cop and I stand guard at the gate, which we opened, while the medic on my rig and the captain (also a medic) start trying to make entry.
Right then the beast came running around the corner, backing its fool head off at us.
I kid you not... a friggin' Biscon Frise!!!! I swear to GOD the thing weighed MAYBE 3 pounds!! It was happily barking at us and wagging its' tail. I looked at the cop, he looked at me, and we both bust out laughing so hard my captain came back out to see what the commotion was, thinking we were screaming while being devoured. The cop asked me if I had his, I grinned, said yes, put my boot under his chest and flipped him across the yard, with his YIP YIP YIP disappearing with him into the snow bank.
Thankfully the guy was ok - he was a diabetic and was circling the drain the the neighbor lady saved his life... he and the dog stopped by the firestation a few days later. And strangely enough, the dog would not have ANYTHING to do with me... wonder why...
:laugh:
Ok... Mary's fav. I have some others I like better, but Mary asks me to tell this every so often.
We're called one day to a welfare check. Seems a little old lady hasn't seen her neighbor in some time. So, she goes to check on him. She sees him thru a window, laying on the floor of his house. Naturally she calls 911. But she cannot get to the door, as she says on the phone with our dispatcher, as the mans dog is snarling and barking at her at the fence gate and she's terrified of it.
So we go rolling over with lights and siren, and request the assistance of cops and animal control. The cops and my engine show up at the exact same moment. I jump off the rig with my radio in hand in case I have to thump some Rottweiler or German Shepard on the head. There's no dog at the gate. So a cop and I go to the gate, me with my radio and I swear the cop had his gun half drawn out of the holster. We can see the guy, and he's face down on the floor, not moving. So the cop and I stand guard at the gate, which we opened, while the medic on my rig and the captain (also a medic) start trying to make entry.
Right then the beast came running around the corner, backing its fool head off at us.
Thankfully the guy was ok - he was a diabetic and was circling the drain the the neighbor lady saved his life... he and the dog stopped by the firestation a few days later. And strangely enough, the dog would not have ANYTHING to do with me... wonder why...
:laugh:
Swissy
Livin' the retired life!
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- Mar 26, 2005
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- 4,612
it was hard to pick a 'clean' one :laugh:
I have so many more... but... well, they would not be politically correct, safe for work, or generally accepted as 'funny' other than by those that understand. But that makes the contest that much harder!
I have so many more... but... well, they would not be politically correct, safe for work, or generally accepted as 'funny' other than by those that understand. But that makes the contest that much harder!
4cbln3
WTF are skin tags?!
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- May 1, 2009
- Messages
- 3,159
Trying to write something that we consider funny but others will say " you're sick for laughing at how that person died" sure was hard. Took me 2 days of going over events. Here's one about hoarders..........
While working OT for another crew we had a choking call at night. As we pull up, I see BIG piles of dog shit all over the drive way and a Rottie mix barking at us on the stairs. With that many landmines we all had our flashlights on and I grab the O2 bag to keep the dog occupied while one of the guys goes around and shortens his leash. We get up to the door and the sight we see just is AMAZING!
Food, rotting food, rotting plastic grocery bags sticking out from the continuous pile, clothes, roaches, flies, canned food, something that resembles vomit oozing out of the pile. This pile runs the length of her living room, around the corner and disappears. It's frickin' as high as my chest and none of us can walk through unless we turn sideways and shuffle in. That's a good sign that she goes outside, at least. Or someone comes and visits.
I've seen the "Hoarders" show on TV, but nobody did what this lady did. She had her bedside lamp plugged into an extension cord that was bread tied to the wall, across the ceiling over the pile of crap, and somewhere in the kitchen it ended.
As we started our medical baseline she was talking a little so that meant whatever she was choking on came out. As one of the guys asked, "what were you choking on maam?" CHICKEN BONE was her reply. I look down at the ground by her daybed..........................
So many little chicken bones on the ground by her feet you could build at least a couple of chicken skeletons! Kid you not.
I had to blurt out, WHICH ONE?
??
The guys were holding in their laugh or looking away faking a yawn just so they wouldn't be caught laughing out loud and she was still disoriented from that episode so she never really answered. She declined the EMS and we packed up our gear thinking, If this house catches on fire, there is NO WAY she's getting out! So much fire load in there, it would actually be a funeral pyre for her.
I've seen other hoarder living rooms, some very clean and organized but none like this lady. Wonder if they ever found her husband?
well that's as PG rated as I can make it. If you make a contest on how small a space a body can fit in a car wreck I may have a contender story.
Or if you get a "jumper" their ID never really looks like them, hmmmm.
While working OT for another crew we had a choking call at night. As we pull up, I see BIG piles of dog shit all over the drive way and a Rottie mix barking at us on the stairs. With that many landmines we all had our flashlights on and I grab the O2 bag to keep the dog occupied while one of the guys goes around and shortens his leash. We get up to the door and the sight we see just is AMAZING!
Food, rotting food, rotting plastic grocery bags sticking out from the continuous pile, clothes, roaches, flies, canned food, something that resembles vomit oozing out of the pile. This pile runs the length of her living room, around the corner and disappears. It's frickin' as high as my chest and none of us can walk through unless we turn sideways and shuffle in. That's a good sign that she goes outside, at least. Or someone comes and visits.
I've seen the "Hoarders" show on TV, but nobody did what this lady did. She had her bedside lamp plugged into an extension cord that was bread tied to the wall, across the ceiling over the pile of crap, and somewhere in the kitchen it ended.
As we started our medical baseline she was talking a little so that meant whatever she was choking on came out. As one of the guys asked, "what were you choking on maam?" CHICKEN BONE was her reply. I look down at the ground by her daybed..........................
So many little chicken bones on the ground by her feet you could build at least a couple of chicken skeletons! Kid you not.
I had to blurt out, WHICH ONE?
The guys were holding in their laugh or looking away faking a yawn just so they wouldn't be caught laughing out loud and she was still disoriented from that episode so she never really answered. She declined the EMS and we packed up our gear thinking, If this house catches on fire, there is NO WAY she's getting out! So much fire load in there, it would actually be a funeral pyre for her.
I've seen other hoarder living rooms, some very clean and organized but none like this lady. Wonder if they ever found her husband?
well that's as PG rated as I can make it. If you make a contest on how small a space a body can fit in a car wreck I may have a contender story.
Q_The_Cop
Beware Clown!
- Joined
- Jul 13, 2008
- Messages
- 1,273
Hey Brent thanks for the correction! That was my fault. I could have sworn that was a Masterpiece, and couldn't find my trusty cigar ruler anywhere!
Jon, thanks for having me in the pass, sort of
. Maybe next time things will work out where I can actually participate for real! 
My story.
About four years ago I had not been on reserves long with MPD I was riding with a fellow officer. A slow summer evening we are cruising around with the windows down trying to stay low profile {something you always want to do when its slow}. We stop at a traffic light we are three cars back when we hear someone racking their pipes we are thinking to our selfs surely this guy sees us. Well he didn't he is acting a fool holding the break letting his tires smoke he is driving a early eighties camaro. Then it happens he jumps the light and hits a car turning in front of him. We are thinking great a wreck to work. But no the victim completes his turn and continues on his way the camaro having none of that hits the gas does a 360 in the highway and takes off after him. We light them up and they act like they don't want to stop. Finally get them stopped about six blocks down on the main roadway and the victim also stops another half block down on a side street. My partner jumps out and goes felony stop on them {gun out} giving the driver commands to let him see his hands and to step out of the car. I take the lead from him and also give the passenger the same commands in a how do I say this a more forceful tone. My guy is not responding to my commands so I give more forceful commands with colorful language included. I must have gotten my point across because the poor sob that had gotten hit gets out of his car a half a block down the road with his hand on his head. I loose it "not you sir you get back in your car you in the camaro get the f--k out of the car". I am laughing at this point and still pissed my partner has gotten his guy in cuffs and we realize its just a couple of teens acting a fool. I get my guy out and he is a young teen 15-16 has pissed his pants from me yelling at him to get out of the car I cuff him and read him his rights. He is standing their in a state of shock with piss on his pants and it is taking everything I got not to laugh. Knowing we are not going to take the passenger to jail he gets the lecture on how to act when the police pull you over, and his parents called. The driver goes to jail {had a warrant for careless operation}. We work the wreck call a unit to transport and go 10-8. We are riding around later and my partner looks at me tells me that I scared him on that stop. Thinking I had screwed something up I ask what I did wrong. He says you didn't do anything wrong just when you were giving your colorful commands to that guy I almost put my hands on my head I had to remember that I was the police. That would normally be the end of something like that but no we carry audio recorders on us. So my partner for the next week has his recorder out letting everyone listen to how I scared the crap out of him. Even to this day of course the story gets better every time he tells it {he has lost the tape} he tells fellow officers how I threatened to blow the guys head off. Which I did not and everyone has heard the tape and knows he is a prankster.
About four years ago I had not been on reserves long with MPD I was riding with a fellow officer. A slow summer evening we are cruising around with the windows down trying to stay low profile {something you always want to do when its slow}. We stop at a traffic light we are three cars back when we hear someone racking their pipes we are thinking to our selfs surely this guy sees us. Well he didn't he is acting a fool holding the break letting his tires smoke he is driving a early eighties camaro. Then it happens he jumps the light and hits a car turning in front of him. We are thinking great a wreck to work. But no the victim completes his turn and continues on his way the camaro having none of that hits the gas does a 360 in the highway and takes off after him. We light them up and they act like they don't want to stop. Finally get them stopped about six blocks down on the main roadway and the victim also stops another half block down on a side street. My partner jumps out and goes felony stop on them {gun out} giving the driver commands to let him see his hands and to step out of the car. I take the lead from him and also give the passenger the same commands in a how do I say this a more forceful tone. My guy is not responding to my commands so I give more forceful commands with colorful language included. I must have gotten my point across because the poor sob that had gotten hit gets out of his car a half a block down the road with his hand on his head. I loose it "not you sir you get back in your car you in the camaro get the f--k out of the car". I am laughing at this point and still pissed my partner has gotten his guy in cuffs and we realize its just a couple of teens acting a fool. I get my guy out and he is a young teen 15-16 has pissed his pants from me yelling at him to get out of the car I cuff him and read him his rights. He is standing their in a state of shock with piss on his pants and it is taking everything I got not to laugh. Knowing we are not going to take the passenger to jail he gets the lecture on how to act when the police pull you over, and his parents called. The driver goes to jail {had a warrant for careless operation}. We work the wreck call a unit to transport and go 10-8. We are riding around later and my partner looks at me tells me that I scared him on that stop. Thinking I had screwed something up I ask what I did wrong. He says you didn't do anything wrong just when you were giving your colorful commands to that guy I almost put my hands on my head I had to remember that I was the police. That would normally be the end of something like that but no we carry audio recorders on us. So my partner for the next week has his recorder out letting everyone listen to how I scared the crap out of him. Even to this day of course the story gets better every time he tells it {he has lost the tape} he tells fellow officers how I threatened to blow the guys head off. Which I did not and everyone has heard the tape and knows he is a prankster.