To Whom It May Concern:
I received a Gillette Sensor in the mail shortly after I turned 18 and had registered with the Selective Service during the spring of 1994.
I have used that same Gillette Sensor ever since. It has been a small part of my life--playing a role at the beginning of every important day I've had since then, and most of the regular, uneventful days as well. I don't mean to suggest that it has ever changed my life in any meaningful way, but it has been a constant, reliable, comfortable presence for these past 15 years.
I used it the day I graduated from high school, the days of numerous job interviews, my first day of college, the days of many dates including the first date with the woman who is now my wife, the day of my graduation from college, my first day of law school, my graduation from law school, my wedding, the day of my mother's funeral, my first day of graduate school, and every day when I have had an important presentation to give to colleagues or faculty members as I pursue my Ph.D.
It has followed me around the world, spending time in all four hemispheres. It accompanied me to the Dominican Republic when I went down there to build a church. It has been to Canada, England, Scotland, Costa Rica, Bolivia, Chile, Argentina, and Peru. It has hiked the Inca Trail and it has spent weeks in the heart of the Amazon.
It has been with me through fifteen moves including homes in Champaign, Rock Island, Lombard, and Bloomington, Illinois as well as Chapel Hill, North Carolina and Miami, Florida.
Several weeks ago, on the day I was to defend my Master's thesis to my faculty committee so that I could proceed to the Ph.D. phase of my graduate studies, as I stood at my bathroom sink shaving, the old Gillette Sensor finally gave out. It had been wearing down for a year or so with the spring-loaded clips which hold the blade slowly growing less sprung. Sometimes I'd have to take care to get the clips back into their housings mid-shave, but on that fateful day in late July, not only did the springs cease springing, but one of the two "shoulder" clips on the handle broke into two pieces. If I could figure out a way to fix it, I would. But I can't think of any way to do so without access to proprietary spare parts.
Just like every person who has ever taken an introductory level marketing class knows (as well as many people who haven't), I'm familiar with your clever business model of making the razor handle itself very cheap or free, and recouping your profit on the blades.
I do not have any problem whatsoever with this strategy. It's clever and I don't mind playing my part. I couldn't hazard a guess as far as how much I've spent on razor blades over these past 15 years, but I bet you have a fairly good idea.
As such, I was hoping that you would be willing to send me a new razor handle. I'm not interested in some sort of octoblade novelty/monstrosity with exfoliating strips, moisturizing strips, aromatherapy strips, or whatever vital nonsense is currently in vogue in the arms race of The Latest In Disposable Razor Blade Technology. The simplicity of the Sensor suited me just fine.
If you no longer have a Sensor available (it's hard to navigate your website in any meaningful fashion--it's like the Don King of websites--lots to look at, lots going on, and certainly flashy, but not a lot of substance...) I'd prefer it if you'd send along the next closest, most simple alternative. I don't need a razor I can synchronize with my iPod.
I certainly don't feel like you owe me a replacement because the free handle you sent me 15 years ago finally broke--please do not misunderstand my intent or my tone. I'm simply hoping that you'd be willing to supply the handle for my next 15 years of shaving and I'll shell out the small fortune for the blades. A sponsorship or a partnership, if you will.
My face is getting itchy in the Miami summer heat. I have not shaved since my Sensor broke (I finished my face the day of my thesis defense by borrowing one of my wife's razors) and I have been too busy with my comprehensive exams in the time since then to sit down and write you this letter until now.
I do not plan on shaving again until I get a new razor from you in the mail or I hear back that my request will not be honored, in which case, I don't know what I'll do.
Thank you very much for your time and attention. I hope this gets to the right people rather than stuck in some sort of customer service limbo.
Thank you very much for the Sensor all those years ago, too.
Sincerely,
Stephen W. Joy
