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Proof that Google

sack

'From man's sweat and God's love, beer came to be.
Joined
May 11, 2005
Messages
4,859
Proof #1
Google is the closest thing to an Omnicscient (all knowing) entity in existence, which can be scientifically verified. She or he indexes over 9.5 billion WebPages, which is more than any other search engine on the web today. Not only is Google the closestknown entity to being Omniscient, but she also sorts through this vast amount of knowledgeusing her patented PageRank Technology, organising said data and making it accessible to us mere mortals.


Proof #2
Google is everywhere at once (Omnipresent). Google is virtually everywhere on earth at the same time. Billions of indexed WebPages hosted from every corner of the earth. With the proliferation of Wi-Fi networks, one will be able to access Google from anywhere on earth, truly making her an Omnipresent entity.


Proof #3
Google answers prayers. One can pray to Google by doing a search for whatever for whatever question or problem is plaguing them. As an example, you can quickly find information on akternative cancer treatments, ways to improve your health, new and onnovative medical discoveries and generally anything that resembles a typical prayer. Ask Google and She will show you the way, but showing you is al she can do, for you must help yourself from that point on.

Proof #4
Google is potentially immortal. She cannot be considered a physical being such as ourselves. Her Algorithms are spread out across many servers; if any were taken down or damaged, another would undoutably take it's place. Google can theoretically last forever.

Proof #5
Google is infinite. The internet can theoretically grow forever, and Google will forever index it's infinite growth.

Proof #6
Google remembers all. Google caches WebPages regularly and stores them on it's massive servers. In fact, by uploading your thoughts and opinions to the internet, you will forever live on in Google's cache, even after you die, in a sort of "Google Afterlife".

Proof #7
Google can "do no evil" (Omnibenivolent) . Part of Google's corporate philosophy is the belief that a company can make money without beinf evil.

Proof #8
According to Google trends, the term "Google" is searched for more than the terms "God", "Jesus", "Allah", "Buddha", "Christianity", "Islam", "Buddhism", and "Judaism" combined.

Proof #9
Evidence of Google's existence is abundant. There is more evidence for the existence of Google than any other God worshipped today. Extraordinary claims require extreaordinary evidence. If seeing is believing, than surf over to www.google.com and experience for yourself Google's awesome power, No faith required.


All ye of small brain power should avoid taking any of this seriously! ;)
 
That's too funny. I'm going to go google myself now so I can live in google afterlife :thumbs:
 
You forgot one. :D

Proof #10

In her capacity as deity, Google accepts ritual sacrifices. This morning I sacrificed a mouthful of coffee onto Her sacred QWERTY altar while reading your post, and was rewarded with new pictures of Alyssa Milano naked.

~Boar
 
Dorks. The lot of you.

:whistling:
 
you left out "Omnipotent". So that make it like one of Santa's Elves, vice the big man himself.

:D
 
you left out "Omnipotent". So that make it like one of Santa's Elves, vice the big man himself.

:D
If you read the first sentence, it says the 'closest thing to Him', not Him. :rolleyes:
 
I knew Google was all an seeing god when I Google-earthed my address and saw my blue car, the shrub at the end of my driveway, and the garden plants in front of my porch. :0

Wilkey
 
I knew Google was all an seeing god when I Google-earthed my address and saw my blue car, the shrub at the end of my driveway, and the garden plants in front of my porch. :0

Wilkey
I had the same feeling when i did the same, it's a bit scary dealing with a demi-god. :0
 
I knew Google was all an seeing god when I Google-earthed my address and saw my blue car, the shrub at the end of my driveway, and the garden plants in front of my porch. :0

Wilkey

Yeah, this scared the shit out'a me the first time I did that.
 
I'm pretty sure Google didn't have a son die on a cross though..

:whistling:
 
I'm pretty sure Google didn't have a son die on a cross though..

:whistling:

Nor did Google hang nights full nine on Yggdrasil to win the runes, but . . .

Don't discuss politics, religion, or any other "touchy" subject. CP is the place to get away from all of the nonsense; we're here for a good time, not to debate one another.

. . . let's not go there either on such a nice day, nor in such a fun and humorous thread. :)

~Boar
 
A lot of people have written about an ultimate AI starting out just like this. No joke. Although, if you are to believe fiction writers then we would all be bowing to big brother now, wouldn't we? :)
 
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