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LOL this is funny.

Wurm

Wurm

Bratwurst and Beer
Joined
Oct 6, 2005
Messages
6,141
Location
Germany
Found on the internet...


You gotta love these guys. In addition to communicating with the local Air Traffic Control facility, all aircraft in the Persian Gulf AOR are required to give the Iranian Air Defence Radar (military) a ten minute ‘heads up’ if they will be transiting Iranian airspace.

This is a common procedure for commercial aircraft and involves giving them your call sign, transponder code, type aircraft, and points of origin and destination.

The following is a conversation apparently overheard on the VHF Guard (emergency) frequency 121.5 MHz while flying from Europe to Dubai.

Whether it’s real or made up doesn’t matter, it’ll still make you snicker and grin.

Iranian Air Defence Radar: ‘Unknown aircraft you are in Iranian airspace. Identify yourself.’

Aircraft: ‘This is a United States aircraft. I am in Iraqi airspace.’

Iranian Air Defence Radar: ‘You are in Iranian airspace. If you do not depart our airspace we will launch interceptor aircraft!’

Aircraft: ‘This is a United States Marine Corps FA-18 fighter. Send ‘em up, I’ll wait!’

Iranian Air Defence Radar: (no response … total silence)
Click to expand...
 
Would have loved to have been a fly on the wall for that conversation, I would have fell off laughing.
 
Here's a great excerpt from _Sled Driver_, a book by an SR-71 pilot.
Here's the link to the whole excerpt, which is awesome as well.
Sled Driver


One day, high above Arizona , we were monitoring the radio traffic of all the mortal airplanes below us. First, a Cessna pilot asked the air traffic controllers to check his ground speed. 'Ninety knots,' ATC replied. A twin Bonanza soon made the same request. 'One-twenty on the ground,' was the reply. To our surprise, a navy F-18 came over the radio with a ground speed check. I knew exactly what he was doing. Of course, he had a ground speed indicator in his cockpit, but he wanted to let all the bug-smashers in the valley know what real speed was 'Dusty 52, we show you at 620 on the ground,' ATC responded. The situation was too ripe. I heard the click of Walter's mike button in the rear seat. In his most innocent voice, Walter startled the controller by asking for a ground speed check from 81,000 feet, clearly above controlled airspace. In a cool, professional voice, the controller replied, ' Aspen 20, I show you at 1,982 knots on the ground.' We did not hear another transmis sion on that frequency all the way to the coast.
 
Another good quote was asking ATC for clearance to 60,000 ft. The controller said "If you can get there, it's yours." They replied, "Roger, descending to 60,000 ft."
 
A classic, especially to anyone who's had to deal with German ATC before:

The German air controllers at Frankfurt Airport are renowned as a short-tempered lot. They not only expect one to know one's gate parking location, but how to get there without any assistance from them. So it was with some amusement that we (a Pan Am 747) listened to the following exchange between Frankfurt ground control and a British Airways 747, call sign Speedbird 206.

Speedbird 206: "Frankfurt, Speedbird 206 clear of active runway."

Ground: "Speedbird 206. Taxi to gate Alpha One-Seven."
The BA 747 pulled onto the main taxiway and slowed to a stop.

Ground: "Speedbird, do you not know where you are going?"

Speedbird 206: "Stand by, Ground, I'm looking up our gate location now."

Ground (with quite arrogant impatience): "Speedbird 206, have you not been to Frankfurt before?"

Speedbird 206 (coolly): "Yes, twice in 1944, but it was dark, -- and I didn't land."
 
I love that Sled Driver excerpt. I've always wanted a copy of the book, but it's some extra special limited edition that was over $400 last time I looked
 
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