Okay here is my .02
Hawaii is a great place but can you say "Island Fever" and I don't mean for you. You'll be able to travel and get wore butt off the island but your wife is SOL she is probably going to be stuck with the kids locked in. Don't get me wrong its a beautiful place to visit and the people are great but the cost of living is astronomical. The other question I have is who funds the entry investment on the housing? Also if you are recruiting aren't you measured on your numbers? Are there that many islanders looking to join the service? My other concern is when you go to sell and how fast you will be able to turn the house around.
San Diego another great place with a great climate. Plenty of nice suburbs and outher line communities to live in as well. Easy access to Mexico, Baja and Tijuana. Seems to me it would also be a haven for recruiting as well.
Phoenix is a boom town! This place is growing like a weed on steriods great opportunities for getting into the right neighborhood and making your money appreciate. This is another community where there our some great neighboring burbs that can offer you a lot with only a short commute to the office. Most important is that people are continuing to flock to Phoenix so when you decide to transfer back home turning your home won't be an issue. Biggest concern for me is that the last time I checked there isn't much water in Phoenix so I don't know where a Coastie like you is going to put his ship ???
Also in this part of the country you can go in all directions and get to some interesting places.
Other places I have heard good things about are Atlanta and Charlotte but never spent much time there so its hard to comment on.
Good Luck keep us posted on your choice.......
BenjieV