Ok, I need to say this. I've been sitting here for an hour, not sure whether I was coming or going, but I need to say this. And I'm not saying this to inflame the situation, or to piss anyone off, or to get attention. I'm simply saying this, and there's no hidden motive or agenda other than to say "I'm sorry".
In retrospect, I should have stayed quiet for longer and 'done my time' before pissing anyone off. To be honest, in the UK, most people just speak without thinking, and I think over the years, I fell into that way of behaving, and its not necessarily a good trait. I can tell from some of the comments made here, and on another thread, that 'newbs' should learn to bide their time. I think there was a comment about my 5 day membership, and about someone elses 90 day membership... and while I certainly didnt see anything about having to pass a probationary period when I signed up, I can understand that I probably would have been better accepted if I'd kept my mouth shut more than I did. Thats just human nature and good manners, so I apologize for my lack of intelligence as far as that goes.
Ten months ago, my wife and son were killed in an accident. Talk about 'shit happens'. It really did happen that day. Since then, I've been acting like an fool in so many ways, I've lost count. I think since it all happened, I've obviously been trying to deal with the situation, but on top of that, I've been trying to find a place where I could fit in, purely because on my own, I'm not doing so good. Had I been a little more intelligent, and possibly not so desperate to be accepted, I would have fit in here, but I dont think thats likely to be the case. I well and truly buggered that up!
Im not going to delete my account or anything (partly because I couldnt figure out how!), but I'm going to be a lurker rather than a participant. As I said when I introduced myself, I have a lot to learn about cigars (as well as other things, apparently!), so I'm just going to go back to lurking. Its better for me, and probably better for you
You all seem like nice guys, and my verbal shitfest was just my pathetic way of trying to defend myself. I was in the wrong, what can I say.
So, once again, I'm sorry to those I offended - I actually wasnt trying to offend, I was simply trying to defend myself, but I did it very badly.
Obviously, I need to repair myself before I can be accepted anywhere.
Heigh ho, heigh ho, its off to lurk I go
Best of luck to you all
