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For the parent's out there...
- Thread starter {tpc}
- Start date
Spad31
Previously, on Battlestar Galactica...
- Joined
- Oct 26, 2008
- Messages
- 1,181
Disco.
In our age of common-sense run amok and zero-tolerance silliness, getting any sort of government agency pinhead involved is an accident waiting to happen. You've heard the stories of first-graders expelled, branded, etc. for kissing on the cheek? That's the kind of dumbassery destroying us. Kids are curious, and it sounds to me like you've got your head on straight and handled it well.
That said, as adults, we're obsessed with sex...why the hell do we teach our kids from an early age to be embarrased, or shamed or somehow not normal if they like it too when they get to that age (mid to late teens...think back...all you dudes would have been hounds if you had the nerve. It was all you thought about.)
Sounds to me like you're teaching your daughter well and establishing good trust. That'll help ease your mind when it's time for you to trust her ability to resist Cassanova's advances when she's older and out on dates. Good communication and education...best tools for a father to give his children. Teach her to confident and smart, and don't worry. She'll do fine.
Disclaimer: father of a boy...
Trey
SweetMelissa
Sweet Innocent Angel
- Joined
- Jun 9, 2003
- Messages
- 2,118
TPC,
Let me first say you are handling this situation very well, the best it can be handled at this juncture and I know that noone would expect less from a caring father. There are a lot of facets to this as I have been reading the posts and I am just lending a few thoughts and comments of my own. When I graduated from college (the first time), I worked at an Elementary school and 2 high schools as their Speech Pathologist. In the elementary school I worked with kids ranging from develomentally delayed 6 year olds to 5th graders. I was involved in the speech/development/learning aspects of their lives, but also in the psychological backgrounds of the children, as well. The first day I held classes where the students came to see me, I remember going to a classroom to get a child, a developmentally delayed 6 year old, and have our first "get to know you" session. As we walked back to the classroom, I noticed he was sick and was THANKFUL I remembered the tissues on my desk. So, on the way, walking to the portable, he decided it would be HILARIOUS (I guess) to blow a big green snot rocket on my hand...thus, my intro into the life of the elementary school. Then there were what you would call the "normal" kids, if there is such a thing, kids with attention deficit disorders, etc., all ranging in ages from 6 to about 10. One thing I noticed is that sometimes, you can't judge a book by it's cover. You have to open the book and look at what is happening on the pages. A boy who is 8 "more often than not" may exhibit the behaviors like the boy did with your little girl, but not understand it. There could be abuse at home, simple mimicking behaviour...anything. And in some cases, they FULLY understand what they are doing. Your daughter acted in the appropriate manner and it is good that she doesn't seem too disturbed right now. Girls also mature faster than boys, believe it or not, put stock in it or not, they do.
I too am of the mentality that first and foremost is your daughter, making sure that she is TOTALLY taken care of and that she feels she can come to you, a teacher, the counselor, whomever, and know that she will be safe. I also believe, on the other side of the coin, that this boy(given his age), be given the chance to talk to someone so that he knows that what he did is not appropriate but without "sending him up the river and having the police come and haul him off." You never know, it might actually help him as you do not know what might be going on in his home. I wish that everyone had great parents that made children aware of things like this, made them feel like they were loved all the time no matter what, that they were not being mistreated by the very people who they should trust the most. However, we all know that is not the case. TPC, you are doing the right thing. Keep taking care of that little girl and I hope all will be resolved soon.
Melly
Let me first say you are handling this situation very well, the best it can be handled at this juncture and I know that noone would expect less from a caring father. There are a lot of facets to this as I have been reading the posts and I am just lending a few thoughts and comments of my own. When I graduated from college (the first time), I worked at an Elementary school and 2 high schools as their Speech Pathologist. In the elementary school I worked with kids ranging from develomentally delayed 6 year olds to 5th graders. I was involved in the speech/development/learning aspects of their lives, but also in the psychological backgrounds of the children, as well. The first day I held classes where the students came to see me, I remember going to a classroom to get a child, a developmentally delayed 6 year old, and have our first "get to know you" session. As we walked back to the classroom, I noticed he was sick and was THANKFUL I remembered the tissues on my desk. So, on the way, walking to the portable, he decided it would be HILARIOUS (I guess) to blow a big green snot rocket on my hand...thus, my intro into the life of the elementary school. Then there were what you would call the "normal" kids, if there is such a thing, kids with attention deficit disorders, etc., all ranging in ages from 6 to about 10. One thing I noticed is that sometimes, you can't judge a book by it's cover. You have to open the book and look at what is happening on the pages. A boy who is 8 "more often than not" may exhibit the behaviors like the boy did with your little girl, but not understand it. There could be abuse at home, simple mimicking behaviour...anything. And in some cases, they FULLY understand what they are doing. Your daughter acted in the appropriate manner and it is good that she doesn't seem too disturbed right now. Girls also mature faster than boys, believe it or not, put stock in it or not, they do.
I too am of the mentality that first and foremost is your daughter, making sure that she is TOTALLY taken care of and that she feels she can come to you, a teacher, the counselor, whomever, and know that she will be safe. I also believe, on the other side of the coin, that this boy(given his age), be given the chance to talk to someone so that he knows that what he did is not appropriate but without "sending him up the river and having the police come and haul him off." You never know, it might actually help him as you do not know what might be going on in his home. I wish that everyone had great parents that made children aware of things like this, made them feel like they were loved all the time no matter what, that they were not being mistreated by the very people who they should trust the most. However, we all know that is not the case. TPC, you are doing the right thing. Keep taking care of that little girl and I hope all will be resolved soon.
Melly
cajunblaze
Member
- Joined
- Aug 15, 2008
- Messages
- 817
I have a brother-in-law that is the principal at a catholic grade school, grades pre-k through 4th grade.
We we're talking over the Christmas holidays about child behavior.
He had four occasions were boys touched girls in a questionable way this year. One happen to be harmless, two were questionable behavior, but one was not so good.
The boy and girl we're caught in the act of oral sex. The boy persuaded the girl to do the act by watching the father's "taped movies" at home. This was later found out by an investigation. These kids are in the first grade, the parent (father) was arrested and the two children we're sent to therapy by the school board. The father was a local business owner, very well respected in the community, until this happened.
I have a 5 year old girl and found this very troubling.
Little things can be a sign for bigger troubles either with the child or family. You are doing the right thing, just make sure you stay calm.
Good wishes for you and your family,
Rich
We we're talking over the Christmas holidays about child behavior.
He had four occasions were boys touched girls in a questionable way this year. One happen to be harmless, two were questionable behavior, but one was not so good.
The boy and girl we're caught in the act of oral sex. The boy persuaded the girl to do the act by watching the father's "taped movies" at home. This was later found out by an investigation. These kids are in the first grade, the parent (father) was arrested and the two children we're sent to therapy by the school board. The father was a local business owner, very well respected in the community, until this happened.
I have a 5 year old girl and found this very troubling.
Little things can be a sign for bigger troubles either with the child or family. You are doing the right thing, just make sure you stay calm.
Good wishes for you and your family,
Rich
{tpc}
Professional Poker Tournament Loser
- Joined
- Feb 20, 2008
- Messages
- 3,513
Thanks again all for the comments/advice. I just want to say, I'm not condemning this boy or looking for legal action here, unless the appropiate people deem it necessary. I really was trying to just calm myself down about the whole thing but when it comes to my kids, I have the tendancy to overreact.
My concern is also for the boy, who may or may not have had something happen/happening to him. The school is just going to have seperate chats with each of them, I assume to determine malice or whatnot, and then a talk with his parents. I am sure a special eye will be given in class, and who knows, he may change classes...I have no idea how they handle such things. At this point, I have no idea whats going on behind the scenes, but like I said in my last post...I think there may be more to it that I am not privy to.
Most importantly, I have the duty to protect my child. Thats my first concern/priority. I sincerely hope nothing bad happens to the other child as a result, but I haven't done anything wrong or improper, and maybe just maybe this could end up helping him more even than it ends up protecting my kid. Only time will tell, but at least I need not worry of what might happen had nothing been said.
My concern is also for the boy, who may or may not have had something happen/happening to him. The school is just going to have seperate chats with each of them, I assume to determine malice or whatnot, and then a talk with his parents. I am sure a special eye will be given in class, and who knows, he may change classes...I have no idea how they handle such things. At this point, I have no idea whats going on behind the scenes, but like I said in my last post...I think there may be more to it that I am not privy to.
Most importantly, I have the duty to protect my child. Thats my first concern/priority. I sincerely hope nothing bad happens to the other child as a result, but I haven't done anything wrong or improper, and maybe just maybe this could end up helping him more even than it ends up protecting my kid. Only time will tell, but at least I need not worry of what might happen had nothing been said.