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First Contest for me- Amazing Race

Brad i am going to be in KC between the 6-10th I think. If you can promise calvin wont be there i will come visit. I meant to send you a pm anyhow but this works just as well.
 
Smokyballs said:
I'd rather have another BOTL enjoy it with me.(See the period) I smoked a few on Saturday.(Period) I can tell you, for a fact, that those cigars and the pre-rolled cigars (that I'm all out of)are some of the best I've had all year (and I've had a lot).
Now for comic effect,we change the word cigar to cock, the phrase "pre-rolled cigars" to "hot asses"and "(that I'm all out of)" to "(that I'm all into)and voila, you get a story of sorted gay love at the Outlaw!
Click to expand...

Sordid. The word is sordid, not sorted.

If you're going to lay into someone about their grammar, do it properly.

:sign:
 
Seanholio said:
Smokyballs said:
I'd rather have another BOTL enjoy it with me.(See the period) I smoked a few on Saturday.(Period) I can tell you, for a fact, that those cigars and the pre-rolled cigars (that I'm all out of)are some of the best I've had all year (and I've had a lot).
Now for comic effect,we change the word cigar to cock, the phrase "pre-rolled cigars" to "hot asses"and "(that I'm all out of)" to "(that I'm all into)and voila, you get a story of sorted gay love at the Outlaw!
Click to expand...

Sordid. The word is sordid, not sorted.

If you're going to lay into someone about their grammar, do it properly.

:sign:
Click to expand...

Sean,
There actually are different categories of gay love at the Outlaw. When you walk through the door you get sorted into the category that best fits you. :sign:
 
Smokyballs said:
This is Calvin's new contest. The "winner" will win a dream date with Calvin! I will pay for dinner at Jack Stack BBQ for both of you. I will provide two Padron 64 "A" maduros for you and Calvin to enjoy in the Outlaw Lounge. A box of the new Outlaw LFD custom '08 for your apology for putting up with Calvin at dinner and for the two plus hours it takes to smoke the A's. This contest is open to all CP members outside of the greater KC area coming to the Outlaw for the LFD event(Sept. 13th). You must be willing to smoke and eat with Calvin.

Post you best description of what your dream date with Calvin would be like. Best story wins(or loses). I will even be a stand up guy and let Calvin pick the "winner"!
Click to expand...

:angry: :angry: :angry:

Damn my wife for not letting me go to LFD!!! Oh well, at least I'll miss having to go through hell on a date with Calvin's "witty" (annoying) bantering to get a box of Outlaw goodness!

I don't know if I'd be willing to smoke with Calvin after seeing him eat either! :laugh:


Excellent EXCELLENT contest Mr. Balls, from the MASTER!! :thumbs:
 
Yeah, I sort the gay love between pitcher and catcher! Double D, I'm thrilled to here you are coming to town(on good terms I hope?). I will make sure you spend no time with Calvin.

Now come on, I know one of you guys has a good story in you!
 
This thread is pretty amazing. You must have done something special to get Brad this agitated...
 
Bsneed51 said:
Sean,
There actually are different categories of gay love at the Outlaw. When you walk through the door you get sorted into the category that best fits you. :sign:
Click to expand...


tigger said:
Ease off there bro. Perhaps it's a very orderly gay love they have at The Outlaw. :laugh:
Click to expand...

Oh. OOOOOH! I didn't know it was that kind of Outlaw. My bad. Please return to your well-sorted homoeroticism.

:D
 
Smokyballs said:
Post you best description of what your dream date with Calvin would be like. Best story wins(or loses). I will even be a stand up guy and let Calvin pick the "winner"!
Click to expand...

After a terrible accident, I'm rendered blind and deaf...
 
My dream date with Calvin goes like this:

We meet at Jack Stack and grab a table next to a large group of Cougars. The Cougars are ordering their fourth round of Happy Hour specials after finishing their third round of body shots. Brad hands over the Padron 64 "A"s and the box of LFDs custom 08s, and I tell him to get f'n lost. This is ghey enough as it is, without having his bald-ass around making it even gheyer. Calvin doesn't even say hello before he starts complaining about a herpes flare up. WTF is that all about? Then he extends his hand, AS IF I'm going to shake that disease-ridden pale dead chicken smelling thing. I ignore him and he starts going on with some bullshit joke about being queer in the South. Like I give a rat's ass. The Cougars are getting wild now and this older one in a pink skirt keeps finding reasons to rub up against my shoulder. Calvin is complaining about something else now, but the Cougar in pink has started batting her eyelashes at me while hiking her skirt a couple inches, so I have no idea what his f'n problem is. Next thing I know, his knee slams into the table and he mumbles something like, "Can't take it anymore." He then embarrasses me in front of the Cougars by running into the parking lot while grabbing at his crotch. I think he was crying. What a f'n pussy. Not too mention he almost f'n ruined things for me with the group of Cougars. Thankfully, I turn the Irish charm WAY up and wind up with a f'n fivesome back at the hotel, which I charge to the credit card Calvin forgot at the table.

Anyway, I can't make it to KC, so I can't win; but that is, in fact, how my f'n date with Calvin would go.
 
tsmckenney said:
My dream date with Calvin goes like this:

We meet at Jack Stack and grab a table next to a large group of Cougars. The Cougars are ordering their fourth round of Happy Hour specials after finishing their third round of body shots. Brad hands over the Padron 64 "A"s and the box of LFDs custom 08s, and I tell him to get f'n lost. This is ghey enough as it is, without having his bald-ass around making it even gheyer. Calvin doesn't even say hello before he starts complaining about a herpes flare up. WTF is that all about? Then he extends his hand, AS IF I'm going to shake that disease-ridden pale dead chicken smelling thing. I ignore him and he starts going on with some bullshit joke about being queer in the South. Like I give a rat's ass. The Cougars are getting wild now and this older one in a pink skirt keeps finding reasons to rub up against my shoulder. Calvin is complaining about something else now, but the Cougar in pink has started batting her eyelashes at me while hiking her skirt a couple inches, so I have no idea what his f'n problem is. Next thing I know, his knee slams into the table and he mumbles something like, "Can't take it anymore." He then embarrasses me in front of the Cougars by running into the parking lot while grabbing at his crotch. I think he was crying. What a f'n pussy. Not too mention he almost f'n ruined things for me with the group of Cougars. Thankfully, I turn the Irish charm WAY up and wind up with a f'n fivesome back at the hotel, which I charge to the credit card Calvin forgot at the table.

Anyway, I can't make it to KC, so I can't win; but that is, in fact, how my f'n date with Calvin would go.
Click to expand...

Awesome, but why cougars instead of college sophomores?
 
Seanholio said:
tsmckenney said:
My dream date with Calvin goes like this:

We meet at Jack Stack and grab a table next to a large group of Cougars. The Cougars are ordering their fourth round of Happy Hour specials after finishing their third round of body shots. Brad hands over the Padron 64 "A"s and the box of LFDs custom 08s, and I tell him to get f'n lost. This is ghey enough as it is, without having his bald-ass around making it even gheyer. Calvin doesn't even say hello before he starts complaining about a herpes flare up. WTF is that all about? Then he extends his hand, AS IF I'm going to shake that disease-ridden pale dead chicken smelling thing. I ignore him and he starts going on with some bullshit joke about being queer in the South. Like I give a rat's ass. The Cougars are getting wild now and this older one in a pink skirt keeps finding reasons to rub up against my shoulder. Calvin is complaining about something else now, but the Cougar in pink has started batting her eyelashes at me while hiking her skirt a couple inches, so I have no idea what his f'n problem is. Next thing I know, his knee slams into the table and he mumbles something like, "Can't take it anymore." He then embarrasses me in front of the Cougars by running into the parking lot while grabbing at his crotch. I think he was crying. What a f'n pussy. Not too mention he almost f'n ruined things for me with the group of Cougars. Thankfully, I turn the Irish charm WAY up and wind up with a f'n fivesome back at the hotel, which I charge to the credit card Calvin forgot at the table.

Anyway, I can't make it to KC, so I can't win; but that is, in fact, how my f'n date with Calvin would go.
Click to expand...

Awesome, but why cougars instead of college sophomores?
Click to expand...

Well, I did turn 35 a couple months ago. So, while the college sophomores are closer to my heart; the cougars are nearer to my reach.
 
OzPod said:
Funny, in a way.
Click to expand...
Oh good, you found the period button. I was starting to get worried. Calvin, for being a good sport about this I think I will sweeten the deal for you. If you go through with this I will buy you a box of the new LFDs as well! What do you say?
 
OzPod said:
Haha, that did sweeten the pot quite a bit.
Click to expand...
Ok, the other thing that you have to do to get the box is to never, ever post "Haha" or "Hehe" in any post again! The emoticons out to the side can do that for you. :cool: :thumbs: See these? This is what you use when you need to express an emotion.
 
Swifty is going to the Litto event. Can I transfer my Dream Date with Calvin over in his name? You'd have to erase the parts about the Cougars though. By the time he finished explaining that weird sleeping apparatus he carries around with him, they'd have left the hotel room. Probably with his cigars. Remember when he lost his cigar case at the Padron event? Anyway, I think Khris would really enjoy a date with Calvin. I can picture the two of them getting giggly over some wine and rib tips, smoking a Padron "A" together and saving the other for 'later', getting back to Khris' hotel room and pouring hot beans over each other.

Alright, I'm making myself sick.
 
tsmckenney said:
Swifty is going to the Litto event. Can I transfer my Dream Date with Calvin over in his name? You'd have to erase the parts about the Cougars though. By the time he finished explaining that weird sleeping apparatus he carries around with him, they'd have left the hotel room. Probably with his cigars. Remember when he lost his cigar case at the Padron event? Anyway, I think Khris would really enjoy a date with Calvin. I can picture the two of them getting giggly over some wine and rib tips, smoking a Padron "A" together and saving the other for 'later', getting back to Khris' hotel room and pouring hot beans over each other.

Alright, I'm making myself sick.
Click to expand...


I got your "giggly". How 'bout I giggle your eye out and skull ***k you? So you want me to take your place on this dream date so you can win the contest? What's in it for me? By the sounds of it, nothing short of the entire contest prize would make it worth my while to put up with this clown for over two hours (especially if I have to "Bring My Own Bible").
 
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