Nonetheless, this is still real and waiting for someone
Does your keyboard not have a period key? You know what else is real? Punctuation!!! It lets people know how you want your sentence to be read. I don't think you are going to get someone to come smoke with you if you can convey that message properly. In your case you need a little more incentive than one Pepin fresh rolled cigar and the promise of witty banter with you! Besides, the fresh rolled cigar from Saturday is now sick and it needs to spend about 6 months in a humidor.
You contest involves having these guys contact you and telling you when and where they are going to meet up with you. That's not really a contest is it (that sounds more like a date, a date with you Calvin)? You need something to contest. A series of questions, a puzzle, when you are going to get to a certain post count, these are contests, not "the first person to come see me gets a cigar"! One cigar for someone to travel, do you know how much it costs to travel? The only way your contest would work is if someone happened to be in town on another matter. They would also have to have the free time to come meet up with you.
Calvin, since I'm a nice guy and I can't let a special needs child(such as yourself) go down in flames. I'm going to help you.
This is Calvin's new contest. The "winner" will win a dream date with Calvin!
I will pay for dinner at Jack Stack BBQ for both of you. I will provide two Padron 64 "A" maduros for you and Calvin to enjoy in the Outlaw Lounge. A box of the new Outlaw LFD custom '08 for your apology for putting up with Calvin at dinner and for the two plus hours it takes to smoke the A's. This contest is open to all CP members outside of the greater KC area coming to the Outlaw for the LFD event(Sept. 13th). You must be willing to smoke and eat with Calvin.
Post you best description of what your dream date with Calvin would be like. Best story wins(or loses). I will even be a stand up guy and let Calvin pick the "winner"!