I’ll throw in my $00.02. It’ll probably end up being more like $20.00 when I’m done, though….
First up; “…Looking for a .45..”. While I won’t say that’s a bad choice, just be aware there are valid options anymore. The .40 is a very capable round, and usually gives you a couple extra rounds over the .45 versions in the same platform. With modern ammo, the 9mm is also nothing to be written off. It depends on your ability to handle the recoil and what you can shoot accurately. Might give some thought to the caliber choice….though, at the end of the day, there’s nothing wrong with the .45.
With pistols, I really do believe there is a certain “Zen” that has to happen with the owner and the weapon. Go down to a well stocked gun store, get a half dozen quality weapons on the counter, and see what feels good. No kidding. There are lots of good choices to be had. Better yet, if you can rent and try different pistols out, that’s even better. I could bore you to death with what I think is a ‘good’ pistol for carry, but at the end of the day, the question becomes what do you like?
If you’re looking for concealed carry and want a smaller frame pistol, there are several new single stack choices that are narrower than the double stack pistols previously available. Check out the nice new Glock 30S, or the Springfield Armory XDS, or the Smith and Wesson “Sheild” series and you’ll see what I mean. That new Glock has my eye…..and, if I were going to buy one pistol that would fill the requirements you laid out, it would be that one, or the Springfield XDS. Those would by my first choices.
When it comes to brands, it is pretty hard to go wrong if you stick with a quality brand. No matter what the brand, some guys will love ‘em, some guys will hate ‘em….but you can’t really argue the quality and reliability. Glock, Springfield Armory, Smith and Wesson, Ruger, Beretta, Kahr…those are off the top of my head, there are probably more. I have to admit I’m partial to Glocks. All mine have the same factory 5lb trigger and Meprolight sights, so no matter if I grab the 21, the 23, or the 26, I have the same trigger pull and the same sight picture. That’s pretty cool. They have also been 100% reliable. Each and every time that slide comes into battery with a round in it, the gun goes 'bang' and feeds another. Every time. I've never had a FTF or stovepipe with any of my Glocks, and I'll admit to shooting the cheapest reloads I can find when I go to the range. When it comes to a carry gun, reliability is < the > most important factor there is.
What do I carry? If I’m carrying full sized, it’s my Glock 21. If I’m running down to the gas station or to the grocery store, I’ll throw my Smith and Wesson 642 Airweight in my front pocket in an Uncle Mike’s pocket liner. Super convenient, and with five .38 +P’s in it, it’s capable and you hardly know it’s there. At night, my “what just went bump” gun is a Glock 23 with a Streamlight TLR2 light / laser combo on the rail. That’s a .45, a .38+P, and a .40. I don’t worry with any of them close.
And....practice and train, practice and train, practice and train some more. Take a class or two. I try to take a class every couple years just because. I welcome feedback and I think it helps me shoot better.
Lastly, don't forget storage. Lock that pistol up when you're not carrying it. Get a decent safe or valut and lag bolt it down to a joist or two. I am a strong supporter of the 2nd amendment, but also acknowledge and respect the awesome responsibility that comes with owning weapons.
As they say, Rod….”one man’s opinion”…..B.B.S.
Edited - some linkage:
http://us.glock.com/products/model/g30s
http://xdspistol.com/
http://www.smith-wesson.com/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/Product4_750001_750051_809559_-1_780153_757781_757781_ProductDisplayErrorView_Y
http://www.snubnose.info/docs/m642.htm