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Adventures In Home Inspection (Some May Be NSFW)

CBoukal said:
Not that its any of my business, but why are you taking pictures of Jeff's @CigarStone house?
In some seriousness, do you think people stage weird shit for you to find during inspections? That can't be an accident, it looks like they are displaying it like a trophy.
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It baffles me. I know times have changed, and I don't bat an eye when I see people growing cannabis, or they leave it out like I did 12 years ago. But I don't get the amount of things people leave out that I wouldn't want anybody to see, knowing someone's getting ready to come into my home and thoroughly go through it.

bfreebern said:
2.5"

Dang, hung like a gnat.
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Well, the homeowners Asian, so.....
 
John @jfields sent me a video from a home inspection yesterday and while I don't know how to post the video, I captured two stills from it. Needless to say I couldn't stop laughing!

At this point John is pointing to a potential problem saying it appears there are burn marks, something may be loose?
1741284958873.png

This is as John is pulling his hand away after touching what was loose! The entire video screen lit up bright blue but I couldn't capture it. He is talking the entire time because he is documenting it in the report. After I texted him that I couldn't stop laughing he said "My hand looked steady, but my asshole clamped shut!"
1741285309402.png
 
CigarStone said:
John @jfields sent me a video from a home inspection yesterday and while I don't know how to post the video, I captured two stills from it. Needless to say I couldn't stop laughing!

At this point John is pointing to a potential problem saying it appears there are burn marks, something may be loose?
View attachment 92453

This is as John is pulling his hand away after touching what was loose! The entire video screen lit up bright blue but I couldn't capture it. He is talking the entire time because he is documenting it in the report. After I texted him that I couldn't stop laughing he said "My hand looked steady, but my asshole clamped shut!"
View attachment 92454
Click to expand...
www.facebook.com

My hand might seem relaxed, but other muscles in my body definitely clenched. 🙂 | By CJR Property Inspections | Facebook

My hand might seem relaxed, but other muscles in my body definitely clenched. 🙂
www.facebook.com www.facebook.com
 
So yesterday was back to work after a relaxing weekend camping with Jeff. It's more or less an unwritten rule that the seller leaves the home while I perform my inspection. But, not everyone has that etiquette. Yesterday's home, the sellers decided to stay along with their three dogs. A Weimaraner, and two Maltese. They all were taken with the new guy, and were very curious about what I was doing. The big dog even had this weird thing about getting between my legs and just standing there. Now, most people would at this point had put the dogs away so I could work free of interference. But, not these folks!

There was paving going on along their shared community driveway. Everyone lived on 20 acre plus lots, and had chipped into have the road paved. These folks wanted to go check it out, and asked would it be OK if they left the dogs behind while they made the hike. Me being too nice said "sure no problem!"

That's where things got really interesting....

First thing that happened was I was testing the walk-in shower in the master bathroom when I turned around and saw the black Maltese standing in there soaked, while having a great old time. I curse my luck, and go out to my truck to get a towel to dry the dog off. I get through that and go back to work, when I open the front storm door to reach around and test the doorbell. That's when the Weimaraner tries to push its way past me out to the front yard. I pulled the storm door shut on the dog and managed to grab its collar to prevent it from getting loose. That's when the black Maltese sees her chance and runs out underneath the big dog. I squeeze out the door locking the other two inside, and proceed to chase this black dog who has bolted down behind the house towards a decent size river about 150 yards behind the house, she jumps in. Now, at this point I'm flipping out worried the dog's going to drown, or get lost on my watch. But, she's just swimming around in the river having a good old time, then swims away every time I try to get close enough to snatch her. I finally catch her after about a half an hour of the shenanigans. I dry her off again with another towel, and bring her inside and set her down. Only to look down horrified and observe muddy paw prints all over the nice carpet. Shit! Pick her up, and set her in the kitchen sink to wash her off, and spend another 10 minutes cleaning paw prints off the carpet.

Finally, I feel like I'm starting to make a little headway. Still, I have to block every bathroom door as I'm filling bathtubs, because this black dog keeps trying to squeeze past, and jump in the tubs as I'm filling them.

That was until I made the big mistake! I opened the knee wall access in the upper loft without any thought to the dogs. Wouldn't you know it, but both the black and brown Maltese bolted, tearing through that blown insulation like it was a foot of snow, having the time of their lives. Of course, it was fun for them to play keep away from the old bald guy, that has to walk around clumsily in the attic space, so he doesn't fall through the ceiling.

First I catch the brown Maltese and clean all the insulation off of her, and set her back into the loft. I slid the knee wall hatch to block her entrance, and proceed to go try to catch the black one. Next thing you know I turn around and the brown one must've nudged the hatch out of the way, so she's back in the mix. In the end I probably spent 45 minutes alone trying to catch these dogs in the attic space. The homeowner wife came home right at this point, and was mortified. She couldn't believe what happened, until I showed her a few pictures I took for evidence in case I needed it. They must've felt really bad in the end, because they kept trying to hand me a small wad of money, that I tried to decline. After a lot of back-and-forth, it became very apparent they were going to insist that I took this money. Hundred dollars was a nice gesture with all the time that I lost!

IMG_4088.jpegIMG_4089.jpegIMG_4092.jpeg
 
jfields said:
So yesterday was back to work after a relaxing weekend camping with Jeff. It's more or less an unwritten rule that the seller leaves the home while I perform my inspection. But, not everyone has that etiquette. Yesterday's home, the sellers decided to stay along with their three dogs. A Weimaraner, and two Maltese. They all were taken with the new guy, and were very curious about what I was doing. The big dog even had this weird thing about getting between my legs and just standing there. Now, most people would at this point had put the dogs away so I could work free of interference. But, not these folks!

There was paving going on along their shared community driveway. Everyone lived on 20 acre plus lots, and had chipped into have the road paved. These folks wanted to go check it out, and asked would it be OK if they left the dogs behind while they made the hike. Me being too nice said "sure no problem!"

That's where things got really interesting....

First thing that happened was I was testing the walk-in shower in the master bathroom when I turned around and saw the black Maltese standing in there soaked, while having a great old time. I curse my luck, and go out to my truck to get a towel to dry the dog off. I get through that and go back to work, when I open the front storm door to reach around and test the doorbell. That's when the Weimaraner tries to push its way past me out to the front yard. I pulled the storm door shut on the dog and managed to grab its collar to prevent it from getting loose. That's when the black Maltese sees her chance and runs out underneath the big dog. I squeeze out the door locking the other two inside, and proceed to chase this black dog who has bolted down behind the house towards a decent size river about 150 yards behind the house, she jumps in. Now, at this point I'm flipping out worried the dog's going to drown, or get lost on my watch. But, she's just swimming around in the river having a good old time, then swims away every time I try to get close enough to snatch her. I finally catch her after about a half an hour of the shenanigans. I dry her off again with another towel, and bring her inside and set her down. Only to look down horrified and observe muddy paw prints all over the nice carpet. Shit! Pick her up, and set her in the kitchen sink to wash her off, and spend another 10 minutes cleaning paw prints off the carpet.

Finally, I feel like I'm starting to make a little headway. Still, I have to block every bathroom door as I'm filling bathtubs, because this black dog keeps trying to squeeze past, and jump in the tubs as I'm filling them.

That was until I made the big mistake! I opened the knee wall access in the upper loft without any thought to the dogs. Wouldn't you know it, but both the black and brown Maltese bolted, tearing through that blown insulation like it was a foot of snow, having the time of their lives. Of course, it was fun for them to play keep away from the old bald guy, that has to walk around clumsily in the attic space, so he doesn't fall through the ceiling.

First I catch the brown Maltese and clean all the insulation off of her, and set her back into the loft. I slid the knee wall hatch to block her entrance, and proceed to go try to catch the black one. Next thing you know I turn around and the brown one must've nudged the hatch out of the way, so she's back in the mix. In the end I probably spent 45 minutes alone trying to catch these dogs in the attic space. The homeowner wife came home right at this point, and was mortified. She couldn't believe what happened, until I showed her a few pictures I took for evidence in case I needed it. They must've felt really bad in the end, because they kept trying to hand me a small wad of money, that I tried to decline. After a lot of back-and-forth, it became very apparent they were going to insist that I took this money. Hundred dollars was a nice gesture with all the time that I lost!

View attachment 93551View attachment 93552View attachment 93553
Click to expand...
LOL!!!! I need to follow you around for a few days!!
 
jfields said:
So yesterday was back to work after a relaxing weekend camping with Jeff. It's more or less an unwritten rule that the seller leaves the home while I perform my inspection. But, not everyone has that etiquette. Yesterday's home, the sellers decided to stay along with their three dogs. A Weimaraner, and two Maltese. They all were taken with the new guy, and were very curious about what I was doing. The big dog even had this weird thing about getting between my legs and just standing there. Now, most people would at this point had put the dogs away so I could work free of interference. But, not these folks!

There was paving going on along their shared community driveway. Everyone lived on 20 acre plus lots, and had chipped into have the road paved. These folks wanted to go check it out, and asked would it be OK if they left the dogs behind while they made the hike. Me being too nice said "sure no problem!"

That's where things got really interesting....

First thing that happened was I was testing the walk-in shower in the master bathroom when I turned around and saw the black Maltese standing in there soaked, while having a great old time. I curse my luck, and go out to my truck to get a towel to dry the dog off. I get through that and go back to work, when I open the front storm door to reach around and test the doorbell. That's when the Weimaraner tries to push its way past me out to the front yard. I pulled the storm door shut on the dog and managed to grab its collar to prevent it from getting loose. That's when the black Maltese sees her chance and runs out underneath the big dog. I squeeze out the door locking the other two inside, and proceed to chase this black dog who has bolted down behind the house towards a decent size river about 150 yards behind the house, she jumps in. Now, at this point I'm flipping out worried the dog's going to drown, or get lost on my watch. But, she's just swimming around in the river having a good old time, then swims away every time I try to get close enough to snatch her. I finally catch her after about a half an hour of the shenanigans. I dry her off again with another towel, and bring her inside and set her down. Only to look down horrified and observe muddy paw prints all over the nice carpet. Shit! Pick her up, and set her in the kitchen sink to wash her off, and spend another 10 minutes cleaning paw prints off the carpet.

Finally, I feel like I'm starting to make a little headway. Still, I have to block every bathroom door as I'm filling bathtubs, because this black dog keeps trying to squeeze past, and jump in the tubs as I'm filling them.

That was until I made the big mistake! I opened the knee wall access in the upper loft without any thought to the dogs. Wouldn't you know it, but both the black and brown Maltese bolted, tearing through that blown insulation like it was a foot of snow, having the time of their lives. Of course, it was fun for them to play keep away from the old bald guy, that has to walk around clumsily in the attic space, so he doesn't fall through the ceiling.

First I catch the brown Maltese and clean all the insulation off of her, and set her back into the loft. I slid the knee wall hatch to block her entrance, and proceed to go try to catch the black one. Next thing you know I turn around and the brown one must've nudged the hatch out of the way, so she's back in the mix. In the end I probably spent 45 minutes alone trying to catch these dogs in the attic space. The homeowner wife came home right at this point, and was mortified. She couldn't believe what happened, until I showed her a few pictures I took for evidence in case I needed it. They must've felt really bad in the end, because they kept trying to hand me a small wad of money, that I tried to decline. After a lot of back-and-forth, it became very apparent they were going to insist that I took this money. Hundred dollars was a nice gesture with all the time that I lost!

View attachment 93551View attachment 93552View attachment 93553
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guaranteed that was the best time those dogs have had in a LOOOOOOOOOONG TIME
 
Sounds like it's time for a new policy: all dogs must be secured prior to inspection! It's not (only) about whether the dog is aggressive, but to avoid this kind of thing LOL.

Why am I hearing Yakety Sax in my head as I think about this?
 
jfields said:
So yesterday was back to work after a relaxing weekend camping with Jeff. It's more or less an unwritten rule that the seller leaves the home while I perform my inspection. But, not everyone has that etiquette. Yesterday's home, the sellers decided to stay along with their three dogs. A Weimaraner, and two Maltese. They all were taken with the new guy, and were very curious about what I was doing. The big dog even had this weird thing about getting between my legs and just standing there. Now, most people would at this point had put the dogs away so I could work free of interference. But, not these folks!

There was paving going on along their shared community driveway. Everyone lived on 20 acre plus lots, and had chipped into have the road paved. These folks wanted to go check it out, and asked would it be OK if they left the dogs behind while they made the hike. Me being too nice said "sure no problem!"

That's where things got really interesting....

First thing that happened was I was testing the walk-in shower in the master bathroom when I turned around and saw the black Maltese standing in there soaked, while having a great old time. I curse my luck, and go out to my truck to get a towel to dry the dog off. I get through that and go back to work, when I open the front storm door to reach around and test the doorbell. That's when the Weimaraner tries to push its way past me out to the front yard. I pulled the storm door shut on the dog and managed to grab its collar to prevent it from getting loose. That's when the black Maltese sees her chance and runs out underneath the big dog. I squeeze out the door locking the other two inside, and proceed to chase this black dog who has bolted down behind the house towards a decent size river about 150 yards behind the house, she jumps in. Now, at this point I'm flipping out worried the dog's going to drown, or get lost on my watch. But, she's just swimming around in the river having a good old time, then swims away every time I try to get close enough to snatch her. I finally catch her after about a half an hour of the shenanigans. I dry her off again with another towel, and bring her inside and set her down. Only to look down horrified and observe muddy paw prints all over the nice carpet. Shit! Pick her up, and set her in the kitchen sink to wash her off, and spend another 10 minutes cleaning paw prints off the carpet.

Finally, I feel like I'm starting to make a little headway. Still, I have to block every bathroom door as I'm filling bathtubs, because this black dog keeps trying to squeeze past, and jump in the tubs as I'm filling them.

That was until I made the big mistake! I opened the knee wall access in the upper loft without any thought to the dogs. Wouldn't you know it, but both the black and brown Maltese bolted, tearing through that blown insulation like it was a foot of snow, having the time of their lives. Of course, it was fun for them to play keep away from the old bald guy, that has to walk around clumsily in the attic space, so he doesn't fall through the ceiling.

First I catch the brown Maltese and clean all the insulation off of her, and set her back into the loft. I slid the knee wall hatch to block her entrance, and proceed to go try to catch the black one. Next thing you know I turn around and the brown one must've nudged the hatch out of the way, so she's back in the mix. In the end I probably spent 45 minutes alone trying to catch these dogs in the attic space. The homeowner wife came home right at this point, and was mortified. She couldn't believe what happened, until I showed her a few pictures I took for evidence in case I needed it. They must've felt really bad in the end, because they kept trying to hand me a small wad of money, that I tried to decline. After a lot of back-and-forth, it became very apparent they were going to insist that I took this money. Hundred dollars was a nice gesture with all the time that I lost!

View attachment 93551View attachment 93552View attachment 93553
Click to expand...

I see now why you need the relaxing weekend camping trips.
 
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