1000 Post Contest- Kids say (and do) the darndest things

[JetDr]

Congrats on the Big 1K.

So I may be cheating and offer up one for each of my children that have been talking for over 3 months. (I have a toddler also, but not much material yet.)

Cole, 4 at the time, was with my Mother and she was taking him to pick up my Father at the barber while I and my wife were at work.

Cole: Where are we going MaMa?
Mother: To see PaPa at the barber.
Cole: (Looking up at her.) What the Fuck is a barber?


Cole was 2 and Halee was 3. It was at this time in our family that I was trying to watch what I said in front of the kiddos. As my son, Cole sat playing with his mashed potatos, my frustration built to the point that I had to bite my tongue.

Me: Cole eat your food.
Me: Cole eat your food.
Me: Cole eat your food.
Me: Cole you are such a...
Me: A...
Me: A...
Halee: Pussy Dad, Cole is such a Pussy.

My wife says I encourage them with my doubled over laughing.

 

[skrgrl74]

Ok Tuesday night we all were riding in the car listening to Christmas songs on the radio and Howard asks our 6 year old son Patrick if he was interested in going caroling around the neighborhood. Patrick asks "What's Caroling?" Howard says" When you go around the neighborhood to people's houses singing Christmas songs" and then Patrick asks "Can we put a money box out?" Howard hitches and eyebrow and whispers to me "What's a money box?" thinking I know something he doesn't. I look at him and shrug my sholders going "I don't know" So then Patrick goes on to say " You know like the people have on the street when they play music"

I almost smashed into the freeway barrier because I was laughing so hard :0


Anyway that kid can earn a buck!





edited for crappy spelling

 

[Gonz]

Well, my 3 year old put a big dent in our trying to get along with my in-laws. My wife and I have been having problems with them and they seem to have reached a boiling point during these holidays. She has her oral boards coming up first week in Jan., and the exam is probably harder than the bar and cpa exam rolled up into one. And if she doesn't pass (about a 70% pass rate) she could lose her job. And her parents are giving us grief about being a little reclusive this holiday season.

So they come over to our house last night for an early Christmas and gift exchange, and my son who obviosly had been listening to us gripe about my father-in-law earlier in the week looks at his grandpa and says, "Grandpa, did you get your attitude fixed yet?"

 

[preembargo]

:blush: OHHH, that’s gonna leave a mark! :laugh:

"Grandpa, did you get your attitude fixed yet?"

Only two more nights left. You have until Santa shows up in the Central Time zone so get your entries in and have a MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!

 

[preembargo]

These are so good that Bargogirl and I needed an extra day to choose a winner. They all met the funny/outrageous criteria so it was a tough decision but there was one that stood out because of the long term consequences.

For getting a family run out of town and ruining a poor young boys’ chances of ever checking a book or video out of the library consequently relegating him to the seedy darkened corners of Blockbuster for his video viewing pleasures, the winner is bchem; and may God have mercy on your soul!

I think some of you would do well to invest in a bar or two of soap and wash a few mouths out (and some of you may want to start with your own :laugh: .) Julie and I really enjoyed these. Thanks to all who played and congratulations to bchem. Pm me your addy.

 

[bchem]

Wow! Didn't see that one coming...there were some pretty darn funny stories thrown in there. Great idea for a contest! Thanks again!

 

[skrgrl74]

Congrats for someone not HAVING ANY KIDS!!!!

Seriously congrats and enjoy the prize and may god be with you if/when YOU ever have kids!

 

[preembargo]

Matt, I apologize for the delay; I meant to get these out last week. These will hit your doorstep tomorrow morning. Enjoy and thanks to all who played, Bargogirl and I enjoyed the laughs.

FedEx tracking
8527 4795 6964

 

[bchem]

Matt, I apologize for the delay; I meant to get these out last week. These will hit your doorstep tomorrow morning. Enjoy and thanks to all who played, Bargogirl and I enjoyed the laughs.

FedEx tracking
8527 4795 6964

Don't sweat it! Thanks in advance for the sticks. Will let you know when they arrive.

Thanks again!

Matt
:thumbs:

 

[bchem]

Got the package. All I can say is....WOW!!! Very nice selection, none of which I think I've had before. Can't thank you enough, Mike. :blush: