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Don't know how shes going to react but wth

Allofus123

Allofus123

Here ducky, ducky, ducky!
Joined
Aug 25, 2001
Messages
3,869
The last several months the wife has been after me to hang a magazine rack in the ummmm.. reading room. :rolleyes: Anyways, she boiled over this past weekend over it so to keep the peace I went ahead and finally installed it. Of course I couldn't just leave it at that. I typed up the following note and taped it to the rack:

Any Magazine being placed in this library must first be approved by the ethics committee chairman, X X XXXXXXXX. You may submit your request on the first Tuesday of every second month between the hours of 10 am to 12 noon. Please allow up to 60 days from the time the request is received for a decision to be rendered. All decisions are final. If request is denied you may resubmit a request after 90 days. Any resubmission must outline the reason for the request to be reconsidered. Begging is not a reason. Whining is not a reason. Pouting is not a reason. Blow jobs are a reason. Please do not waste the Committees time if you do not have a valid reason for the resubmission.

Material found to have advertisement for Jewelry, Clothing, Feminine Hygiene products, Drapery, Linens, Home Decorating, Kitchen Appliances, and other such items will automatically be disposed. Continued abuse of this policy will result in a complete ban on your rights for submissions. Consideration will be given to the above exclusions if within the same advertisement there is a picture of a Gun, dead animal, fishing pole, truck, liquor, race car, boat, big boob woman, or cigar. Bonus points will be given for combination advertisement pictures of Big boobed women and any of the others.

If nobody hears from me over the next few days please turn this over to the authorities and tell them the murder weapon they are most likely looking for is a wrought iron magazine rack. :cool:
 
Very nice... i need to come up with something like this for my wife.
 
Kenny that's funny crap, are you sleeping in the truck?
 
It'll probably go over better than when I said,
"Give me a break. Cooking all day my ass. It isn't like you had to keep the fire stoked or anything. You put a bunch of crap in a pot and turned on the heat. Then you read one magazine after another for 6 hours."

NA
 
SamClemmons said:
It'll probably go over better than when I said,
"Give me a break. Cooking all day my ass. It isn't like you had to keep the fire stoked or anything. You put a bunch of crap in a pot and turned on the heat. Then you read one magazine after another for 6 hours."

NA
Click to expand...

Oh damn... :0
 
SamClemmons said:
It'll probably go over better than when I said,
"Give me a break. Cooking all day my ass. It isn't like you had to keep the fire stoked or anything. You put a bunch of crap in a pot and turned on the heat. Then you read one magazine after another for 6 hours."

NA
Click to expand...

LOL, throw the children in that and it sounds like something I say.
 
I think we all live dangerously at times. Yesterday I bought a new vacuum and put it together. I called the wife into the living room, when she got there I showed her the vacuum and showed her where the on/off switch was, turned it on, and vacuumed the living room. She said she knew how to operate a vacuum, to which I replied "Is that why it took you 3 weeks to figure out the other vacuum was broken?"

Needless to say, it was very cold in the bed last night. Maybe we should pool our money together and rent a CP Dog House.
 
HAHAHA, after reading some of the submissions in this thread.... I seem to feel more confidant about my help around the house!! hehehe. :) Well done guys, and now I will eventually stick my foot in my mouth because of this thread!
Don
 
Wooow, I hope she has a sense of humor and irony... because it be iron that will be creasing your skull if your not careful! LOL
 
Madmidget said:
I think we all live dangerously at times. Yesterday I bought a new vacuum and put it together. I called the wife into the living room, when she got there I showed her the vacuum and showed her where the on/off switch was, turned it on, and vacuumed the living room. She said she knew how to operate a vacuum, to which I replied "Is that why it took you 3 weeks to figure out the other vacuum was broken?"

Needless to say, it was very cold in the bed last night. Maybe we should pool our money together and rent a CP Dog House.
Click to expand...


Sounds like a good idea!! :thumbs: :thumbs: :thumbs:
 
Allofus123 said:
The last several months the wife has been after me to hang a magazine rack in the ummmm.. reading room. :rolleyes: Anyways, she boiled over this past weekend over it so to keep the peace I went ahead and finally installed it. Of course I couldn't just leave it at that. I typed up the following note and taped it to the rack:

Any Magazine being placed in this library must first be approved by the ethics committee chairman, X X XXXXXXXX. You may submit your request on the first Tuesday of every second month between the hours of 10 am to 12 noon. Please allow up to 60 days from the time the request is received for a decision to be rendered. All decisions are final. If request is denied you may resubmit a request after 90 days. Any resubmission must outline the reason for the request to be reconsidered. Begging is not a reason. Whining is not a reason. Pouting is not a reason. Blow jobs are a reason. Please do not waste the Committees time if you do not have a valid reason for the resubmission.

Material found to have advertisement for Jewelry, Clothing, Feminine Hygiene products, Drapery, Linens, Home Decorating, Kitchen Appliances, and other such items will automatically be disposed. Continued abuse of this policy will result in a complete ban on your rights for submissions. Consideration will be given to the above exclusions if within the same advertisement there is a picture of a Gun, dead animal, fishing pole, truck, liquor, race car, boat, big boob woman, or cigar. Bonus points will be given for combination advertisement pictures of Big boobed women and any of the others.


If nobody hears from me over the next few days please turn this over to the authorities and tell them the murder weapon they are most likely looking for is a wrought iron magazine rack. :cool:
Click to expand...

That's some great stuff. But being a married man I'm afraid I'm not familiar with the highlighted term. What exactly is that? :laugh:
 
Well I'm still alive. :thumbs:

I greeted her at the door as I usually do and after a few "how was work" questions and answers she went and changed cloths. I was holding my breath. It seemed like forever but eventially I heard uncontrollable laughter coming from the bathroom. I thought all was well unitil later in the evening when I visited the reading room and found the magazine rack stuffed full of her magazines with a note that said:
"Removing magazines from here will alter the mood of a happy wife. Proceed at your own risk".

I think I'll let it go. :laugh:
 
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