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Need help from all lawyers!

Sweetrice80

Sweetrice80

Deaf Mofo
Joined
Jul 29, 2008
Messages
1,475
Location
Gaithersburg, Md
So, I would first like to start off that this is one of the last things I ever wanted to do as a human being, but it looks like My wife and I are going to split. I would like to give a brief background on this, Anna and I have been going through therapy for about 5 months, things seem to be getting better by her actions and things she has been telling me. However, this past Sunday with the help of 4 friends, she surprised me and said she was leaving and packed up and took everything and walked out. As you may know I am and was shocked by this, because I have been trying to make things work between us and thought it was working, thus the reason I was spending less time here.

I am already talking to a few people on this board about my legal options, but frankly I just need some advice to see if I should get a lawyer. Here are some of the things, We do not have kids, do not own a house, we have a car (which was considered hers) and a savings. Some of my lawyer friends recommended to keep lawyers out of it since they are so damn expensive, for something that requires not much dividing besides the money and such. Here are a couple things.

Does she have any grounds for me to back pay her from all the student loans that we both paid during our marriage?

Do I have any grounds to file for a diversion?

this will be all for the state of maryland.

I want to threaten her with a diversion suit, but I do want to know the ramifications of that before actually going that route, because by no means is this mutual split.


Thanks for your help,

David
 
I'm sorry to hear this news David. I hope you find the info you are looking for. Good luck.
 
That sucks David! Good luck and keep your head up.
 
Read this, then speak with a lawyer!

Good luck with things.

BTW - I'm sure he spoke to a lawyer already, that's probably why she boogied with the stuff...sorry.


<although not married...my g/f took off when I was away. Now, I know she was planning to move out but not at the time I was away...needless to say, it sucks all around!>
 
If she sprung this on you you need to Get a lawyer.

Don't shop for cheap lawyers.
Don't shop for cute lawyers.

Get a good lawyer asap. One that will fight tooth and nail for you.

I spent 2 years thinking we were working things out. On a Friday counseling session my wife told the counselor and me that she was not seeking divorce. I was served the next Monday at work. IMO, it is time to lawyer up. I know it sucks. I know it costs a lot of $$. Her out-of-the-blue actions are a big red flag. You will regret not doing this to the best of your ability in the future.

Sorry I couldn't be more positive. I wish you the best of luck.
 
I am an attorney, but don't really know anything about a divorce. People have come to me in the past and after talking with people who have do this for a living, I have come to the conclusion that as long as there are no kids, no house, no non-liquid assets (stocks, bonds, etc.) and no one is seeking alimony or other form of support then you don't need a lawyer. If it is anymore contentious than that you need to talk to someone who knows what they are doing.
 
I am not an attorney, talking to a lawyer might put you at easy for the moment, take some time, decompress, you are better off.

Pipe Smoker makes a pretty good point.
 
I am a lawyer, and I do handle divorce, and Pipe Smoker is pretty much right on. Without knowing the student loan situation details, sometimes there can be compensation back to one spouse through alimony or the property settlement in these matters. Also, depending on what she took from the house, she may need to return or compensate you for some marital property she appropriated. Are you sure she hasn't been squirreling away cash into a separate bank account? Do you have debt together, credit cards, furniture, anything like that? If you're unsure about any of this, see a lawyer. Also, since MD is a fault state there's a good chance that the court will"favor"the party not at fault so don't get screwed by agreeing that you are the party at fault if you've been trying to work it out.
 
punk_lawyer said:
rbbrock said:
Are you sure she hasn't been squirreling away cash into a separate bank account? Do you have debt together, credit cards, furniture, anything like that?
Click to expand...

Yep, you're a divorce lawyer! :thumbs:
Click to expand...

Hey, I am a product of my experiences. ;) It's just that when there's a big, obviously pre-planned, "surprise" move-out, you have to ask what other planning might have been taking place.
 
rbbrock said:
punk_lawyer said:
rbbrock said:
Are you sure she hasn't been squirreling away cash into a separate bank account? Do you have debt together, credit cards, furniture, anything like that?
Click to expand...

Yep, you're a divorce lawyer! :thumbs:
Click to expand...

Hey, I am a product of my experiences. ;) It's just that when there's a big, obviously pre-planned, "surprise" move-out, you have to ask what other planning might have been taking place.
Click to expand...

And what seems a good one at that!


:laugh:
 
Thanks for all the tips guys,


She agreed to meet with me last night, and it wasn't pretty but at least it took a load off for me. I think I have a pretty good knowledge on body language, and from our talk and her reactions and confidence, she has 0% idea on whats she is doing. Because her first comment was about how sorry she was to leave me like she did and telling me this is not a divorce and only a separation, when in fact I asked her the day that she did this if she wanted a divorce, and she said yes. Her defense to that was it was the "heat" of the moment. I told her straight up, that I refuse to sign anything until I am ready. She was putting together a plan for bills, CC, and other small things. But I told her to slow the freak down, I am not going to be the kind of guy that leaves you in the dirt, even though that is what she did to me. I know for a fact that she was not storing away money, because I did all the banking and she is worried about having enough money living on her own after moving out.

I called up our therapist and told her what my wife has done, and she was in shocked just as I was, because all during the therapy she was stating how things were better and improving. Not to sound too evil, but something is not right in her head. I told her to slow down, realize what you are doing. So hopefully if she got anything out of that meeting last night, she is able to slow down and reflect. Because I am going to be doing this same, this is the second time this kind of thing has happen. Being a psychology major and a devoted catholic, its hard for me not to forgive her for all this, as rough as it is, I always remember on how Christ himself was abandon by his close followers and can't imagine what he had to go through, but he still forgave. The Psychology Major part of me thinks there is something mentally wrong with her and that she needs to work that out before she can workout doing anything with anyone else again, whether that with me or another person.

But the meat of what people have been telling me is that, a lawyer currently is not needed, if things start heating up and heads are butting then we may need to look into that option.

David
 
Not getting too personal or even asking for an answer here, just something to think about (if you haven't, alread)... Any chance that she had someone on the side she ran to with the expectation of commitment from them, only to find out that what she had in mind, and what this other guy had in mind were not exactly book matched? So, now definitive "divorce" has turned into "separation" with chance of coming back.

Seen this a thousand times in the military. I've supervised several Airmen who found themselves in an empty house after a deployment because the spouse moved out abruptly with no notice and shacked up somewhere else. When the spouse discovered that the other party was not exactly committed or faithful to THEM (imagine that...), all of a sudden they want to bring the moving van back and "work it out".

Might be completely off the mark here, but that's the first thing I read into it from personal experience in the matter. I'm sorry you are going through this. I know it sucks, and I hope that it resolves itself soon, one way or another. Just don't let yourself get taken for a ride because you love the girl, or she'll make a door mat out of you. Good luck, man.
 
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