"What I Believe."

[grateful1]

[heavy music starts to play ]

"What I Believe."

I believe in rainbows and puppy dogs and fairy tales.

And I believe in the family - Mom and Dad and Grandma.. and Uncle Tom, who waves his penis.

And I believe 8 of the 10 Commandments.

And I believe in going to church every Sunday, unless there's a game on.

And I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, wholesome and natural things.. that money can buy.

And I believe it's derogatory to refer to a woman's breasts as "boobs", "jugs", "winnebagos" or "golden bozos".. and that you should only refer to them as "hooters".

And I believe you should put a woman on a pedestal.. high enough so you can look up her dress.

And I believe in equality, equality for everyone.. no matter how stupid they are, or how much better I am than they are.

And, people say I'm crazy for believing this, but I believe that robots are stealing my luggage.

And I believe I made a mistake when I bought a 30-story 1-bedroom apartment.

And I believe the Battle of the Network Stars should be fought with guns.

And I believe that Ronald Reagan can make this country what it once was - an arctic region covered with ice.

And, lastly, I believe that of all the evils on this earth, there is nothing worse than the music you're listening to right now. That's what I believe.

Steve Martin on SNL

----------------------------

What do you believe?

 

[Newfie]

I believe it's almost lunchtime and I believe I'm going to have a steak sandwich and a couple of Espressos!!!

I'd seen parts of that before, but I didn't know Steve Martin did it on SNL. It's funny as hell, and I'd love to see him do it.

 

[Michal]

I believe its 5 pm and I'm going home!

 

[opusXmarco]

I believe it's almost time to light up a Partagas Short...

 

[Swifty]

I wouldn't believe in anything if it weren't for my lucky astrology mood watch.

Steve Martin from Wild and Crazy Guy

 

[PuroEsq]

I believe that right now I should be working instead of surfing the web.

 

[CoventryCat86]

I believe you've spent just a little TOO much time near an arc welder working on the Chebby and the fumes have permanently damaged your brain. :laugh:

 

[CigarStone]

Everybody's gotta believe in sump'n.....I believe I'll have another beer!

 

[Time]

:whistling:

 

[SweetMelissa]

I believe that either Steve stole this concept from the Blue Collar Comedy Tour or they stole it from him ;-) hehehe

Either way it's funny

Melly

 

[anvil]

I believe I will reply to this post simply to get closer to my 1000 post contest :whistling:

 

[JimD]

I believe that money can buy anything.

 

[AngryFishH]

I believe in a world where it rains donuts and all of the rivers are made of coffee.

Can you tell I skipped breakfast?

 

[Strayvector]

To the real men of genius,
Thank you I Believe Quoter Man. :laugh:

 

[Ginseng]

God,

Steve Martin was so funny back then. One too many "Father of the Brides" lately.

As for me, I believe in truth, justice, and the American way!



oh, and I also believe in sock pixies that sneak into my sock drawer each night and gnaw holes through the heels.

Wilkey

 

[Treamayne]

I believe in short-times, bar fines and 50 cent drinks!!

-K-