Super Bowl Dog Rocket wager!

[kann]

We have a few premium SB bets going on here. Anyone up for the inverse wager? Straight Win/Lose bet -- no point spread. The losers here will actually be the winners (or will they...?). The rules:

If your team wins, you must send the loser a fiver of the cheapest, nastiest, most embarrassing sticks you can find. Now, I don't mean the mold-covered ones you've been meaning to toss, but just haven't found the energy. I'm talking bottom-of-the-barrel truck stop smokes, cheap clearance CI sticks, Acid Kuba-Kuba, even... Gurkhas. They have to be smokeable, though, because the loser here has to provide photographic evidence of them being smoked in a timely manner. The sender will have until the end of February to get the package in the mail, since I'm sure no one here actually has that sort of thing in their collection, and will have to buy or order from somewhere and await delivery. If there are multiple takers for this, I'll pair folks up.

Anyone game? I've got the 49ers. I have fond memories of them in their Joe Montana heyday as a kid, so I'm going for my sentimental pick.

 

[jacot23]

Why not, I'm in. I'll take the Chiefs.


Just so I'm understanding this correctly. 49'ers win I can literally stop by the truck stop and get some Swisher Sweets, Black & Milds, etc.. and send you a fiver of those?

 

[jbfurdog]

Why not, I'm in. I'll take the Chiefs.


Just so I'm understanding this correctly. 49'ers win I can literally stop by the truck stop and get some Swisher Sweets, Black & Milds, etc.. and send you a fiver of those?

The 9ers win. He sends you the dog and you must smoke them as the loser. If the chiefs win. You send him the Dog rockets to smoke.

 

[jacot23]

The 9ers win. He sends you the dog and you must smoke them as the loser. If the chiefs win. You send him the Dog rockets to smoke.

I had my thinking bass backwards, thanks.

Still in, Go Chefs.

 

[kann]

Excellent. Anyone else want to take part?

 

[jacot23]

Whew, that was too close for comfort. PM me your address and I'll get something headed your way in a week or so.

 

[kann]

All told, I'm glad KC pulled it off. I had a bunch of people really rooting for the Chiefs for some pretty special reasons. They deserved to have a little bit of happiness in their lives right now. Congratulations on the win -- PM inbound!

 

[jacot23]

I've got a couple things in mind, but wondering if anyone has any suggestions for kann's torture

 

[jbfurdog]

A nasty disgusting CC would really F with him.

 

[bfreebern]

Send him an Opus xXx

 

[jacot23]

Send him an Opus xXx

If I had any Opus X I'd definitely send one along with the actual dog rockets

 

[jacot23]

@kann These will be headed out later today for your smoking pleasure torture.




1. Swisher Sweets. Because who hasn't tried one of these terrible grocery store package cigars at some point in their life, if you haven't then brace yourself for some especially sickly sweet awesomeness(NOT).

2. King Edward. I used to keep some of these flavorless smoke bombs around to light fireworks. Unfortunately I quit that years ago and thus was forced to stop at Piggly Wiggly after work and get one. These are so terrible they are getting impossible to find.

3. Gurkha Kukri. I had to include a couple of premiums(yeah right) in this package so I went with one that I had tried previously. Based on other reviews the Kukri has a smooth earthy taste and I agree, they taste exactly like some poor bastard literally rolled up some of the dirt these nasty things were planted in. The wrappers are typically tight, but somehow the draw is like sucking on an empty pvc pipe.

4. Black & Mild. I've never actually smoked one of these so I'll let you tell us what you think. I had to include this just for the wood tip that no self respecting cigar aficionado would be caught dead with.

5. Acid Blondie. The other "premium" cigar I decided to include; I say premium because this on came off Cigar Bid for a whole dollar. I think you'll particularly enjoy this one. Similar to a Swisher Sweet in that it has a sickly sweet taste. These are extremely smooth and remind me of the Honeysuckle flowers that we used to eat as kids here in the South except it tasted more like the vine than the flower. If the wrapper doesn't crack immediately I'll be shocked.


Make sure to choose a better team next time you make this type bet








P.S. Don't worry, I'll include a few actually smoke-able cigars in the package with these.

P.S.S. Although I may just include the rest of the package of Swisher Sweets

 

[kann]

Oh, man... I'm going to have to smoke a few Opus afterwards just to come back down from that sick feeling...

Funny/dumb story: The night before I shipped off to basic training many beers ago, a buddy and I figured we'd make the most of the night (since chasing girls didn't pan out the way we hoped), and bought a few packs of Swishers from the gas station near the hotel. I had never smoked a "cigar" before, so inhaled them just like you would a cigarette. Between the two of us, I think we polished off three or four packs of them. Mistakes were made. I had a disgusting lump of Swisher in my chest for the entire first week of BMT, and all I wanted to do was throw up instead of getting verbally berated by our training instructor. I can already feel the tightness in my lungs coming back... :/

I will be sure to post photos as the damage is being done. I'd thank you for playing along, but I have a feeling I'm going to regret this.

 

[Scap]

Might be time to fabricate some kind of turkey baster device to "puff" on those for you. The only one I'd willingly smoke is the Blondie.

 

[kann]

Might be time to fabricate some kind of turkey baster device to "puff" on those for you. The only one I'd willingly smoke is the Blondie.

Honestly, that's the one I'm LEAST looking forward to. My last experience with Acid cigars didn't turn out so well...

 

[kann]

Uggggghhhh... these hit the mailbox today. I've been dreading this day. I was out late with the fam doing fam things, so no cigar for me today. I'll begin serving my sentence tomorrow.

Thank you for the great add-ons. They were entirely unnecessary, but completely appreciated.

 

[smellysell]

Uggggghhhh... these hit the mailbox today. I've been dreading this day. I was out late with the fam doing fam things, so no cigar for me today. I'll begin serving my sentence tomorrow.

Thank you for the great add-ons. They were entirely unnecessary, but completely appreciated.

Inhale the Swisher for nostalgia!

 

[Acclaym]

Great wager! Disgusting smokes, well done.

 

[kann]

First review is up.

 

[kann]

Second review is live.