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Ranch Dressing

TexasTraveler

TexasTraveler

I'm kind of a big deal
Joined
Mar 12, 2020
Messages
5,475
Ok @CigarStone here you go... So some of you know that we moved to our new to us home a couple years ago. My wife Ashley and I were in the middle of remodeling, so we would often just go out back and sit and eat at a patio table on the back porch. Let me back up a little and tell you about my cat. I have had this cat since it was born literally, he was born in my closet at a previous house, his mother was my cat. He was stillborn, so I took him and rubbed him and did a move where you swing him upside down and continue to rub him for minutes and he started breathing. Well by this point I'm sure you can understand, there was absolutely no way I was getting rid of that cat... The mother is no longer with us, but let me just say, she was a badass and would kill anything that moved. Well "Mr. Mister" that's my cats name is just like his mother, except worse, literally if it moves he will try to kill it. He has even attempted to take out my poor little chaweenie puppy a few times... I have tons of stories about this cat bringing me goodies some dead, some alive... So back to my Ranch dressing story... So for about a week of going out back and Mr. always seems to follow and end up back there with us, this bird starts diving bombing Mr. So I am sure he/she must have a nest near by or something, but I figure once the bird realizes Mr. isn't messing with them, the bird will go away. Besides if Mr. wanted the bird, there is no doubt, he would kill him/her and the rest of his family as well, after all Mr. didn't get the nickname "The Assassin" for nothing... So after days of this going on, I had finally had enough and was about to go get a .22 and send this squawking bird to the upper room. Of course the better side of me, "my wife" says no you can't do that, so I told her ok then I am about to kill this bird with this ranch bottle that we had outside with us... So of course her knowing the stupid shit I have done in my lifetime she decides to film what she thinks is going to me losing my shit and making a fool of myself chasing this bird around the yard... So here is what followed...
WARNING: What you are about to see is controversial, and may be offensive to some viewers. Some viewers may find the following video disturbing. Viewer discretion is advised.

Bird Shot.jpg
 
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Finally, the proper use of ranch dressing! Now if we could only follow suit with sour cream and mayonnaise that would make the trifecta!
 
Is that hidden valley ranch? My wife wants to know what happened with the bird after this? I didn’t see it laying dead but I didn’t see it fly away either.
 
jbfurdog said:
Is that hidden valley ranch? My wife wants to know what happened with the bird after this? I didn’t see it laying dead but I didn’t see it fly away either.
Click to expand...
Yes Hidden Valley and the bird lived, but he did stop swooping down on us...
 
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