Noob Contest

[ironpeddler]

Hello to all the new members of CP. Today I'm running a contest and the Grand Prize Winner will receive a box of cigars that I don't like!

I have a box of 'Nick's Sticks' that are not to my liking...I thought they would be a good yardgar and they were not. I smoked 3 out of a box of 20, but I filled the spaces with 3 other sticks. This particular box is in a robusto size and has a Sungrown wrapper...Perdomo calls them the "Little Havana Blend". As I love almost everything in a Sungrown wrapper, these were a bit too mild for me...hence, a Noobie Contest!

To Qualify:

1) You must be here LESS than 6 months.
2) You must have more than 75 meaningful posts...I WILL check.
3) You must use the SHIFT Key on every post you make.
4) You MUST like milder cigars...please don't take them and not smoke them.
5) You MUST not be a complete A-Hole, Ex: when other members hear your name, they must not cringe and shake their heads.
6) If you've ever posted the word or a picture of "popcorn"...YOU ARE NOT ELIGIBLE.
7) If Doc has scolded you publicly and used terms like, "shit for brains" or "maybe he's not a smart ass, maybe he's just stupid"...YOU ARE NOT ELIGIBLE.
9) If Jonesy has ripped you a new one and then apologized...YOU ARE NOT ELIGIBLE (Chances are his wife made him say he's sorry but he was right to begin with)
10) If you know who 'Coventry Cat' is...YOU ARE NOT ELIGIBLE
11) If you have used Punk_Lawyer as an attorney...YOU ARE NOT ELIGIBLE (how the hell did you get past #5?)
12) If Pugman likes you...YOU ARE NOT ELIGIBLE.
13) If Tomthirtysix has yelled at you publicly...YOU ARE ELIGIBLE
14) If you know why LOS is such a douche....you win automatically.

OK, now that you qualify and don't know why LOS is a douche, all you have to do is answer these questions correctly:

1) What is my son's first name?
2) Who are the 3 people I admire the most and who did they smoke a cigar with recently?
3) Do I own Cats or Dogs?
4) How tall am I?
5) What is my new favorite scotch?
6) What were the 2 cigars I smoked exclusively for almost 25 years?
7) What brand of humidor do I own?
8) Do I wear a beard or a goatee?
9) How far do I live from Snooki's house?
10) What's the square root of 33,295,826...times 680...divided by 3.14?

Good luck to all that play

 

[Jonesy]

Hello to all the new members of CP. Today I'm running a contest and the Grand Prize Winner will receive a box of cigars that I don't like!

I have a box of 'Nick's Sticks' that are not to my liking...I thought they would be a good yardgar and they were not. I smoked 3 out of a box of 20, but I filled the spaces with 3 other sticks. This particular box is in a robusto size and has a Sungrown wrapper...Perdomo calls them the "Little Havana Blend". As I love almost everything in a Sungrown wrapper, these were a bit too mild for me...hence, a Noobie Contest!

To Qualify:


2) Who are the 3 people I admire the most and who did they smoke a cigar with recently? Me, Los, and Jay
3) Do I own Cats or Dogs? I hope you're a pussy man
4) How tall am I? 4'9
5) What is my new favorite scotch? Whatever is the cheapest
6) What were the 2 cigars I smoked exclusively for almost 25 years? Grape and watermelon White Owls
7) What brand of humidor do I own? Swisher
8) Do I wear a beard or a goatee? Nutsack tickler
9) How far do I live from Snooki's house? You're her Grandfather, she lives with you
10) What's the square root of 33,295,826...times 680...divided by 3.14? 69

Good luck to all that play

Did I win?

 

[b.dawgson]

Geez... I think you made it too hard for them, Gary

 

[Franco593]

As far as the Los/Douche thing goes Gary....it's pretty simple

Met Fan = Douche

 

[JDriver77]

Hmm, #3 disqualifies a lot of people... :whistling:

 

[Joebunaga]

I'm game, time to do some digging!

 

[ironpeddler]

As far as the Los/Douche thing goes Gary....it's pretty simple

Met Fan = Douche

Good point Frank....although I think it's something way deeper :laugh:

 

[ironpeddler]

I'm game, time to do some digging!

Go get 'um Joe!

Hmm, #3 disqualifies a lot of people... :whistling:

Sounds like you're quitting before you even started :whistling:

...and here I thought #7 and #9 would have eliminated most new guys!

Geez... I think you made it too hard for them, Gary

If it was easy Ben, any Noob could do it! :laugh:

Looking for someone with a sense of humor and a little drive!

I hope you new guys that read this understand this is tongue in cheek and your response should be the same!

In other words...the funniest response wins!

 

[engspot]

What the heck is a robusto?

 

[Joebunaga]

1) What is my son's first name? Jonesy
2) Who are the 3 people I admire the most and who did they smoke a cigar with recently? Larry, Moe and Curly. They're herfin with the big G.
3) Do I own Cats or Dogs? Pussy magnet
4) How tall am I? Its all about girth
5) What is my new favorite scotch? Billy Connolly
6) What were the 2 cigars I smoked exclusively for almost 25 years? Travis Clubs and Finck's Rejects
7) What brand of humidor do I own? Omaha Steaks styrofoam cooler, with extra duct tape
8) Do I wear a beard or a goatee? Van Dyke
9) How far do I live from Snooki's house? About 4 feet, under Snooki's bathroom
10) What's the square root of 33,295,826...times 680...divided by 3.14? 7210561044.585987

 

[Tall Paul]

1. Your son’s name is Anthony and I must say he looks just like you. Great pictures from the Quad State Herf by the way. Looks like it was a great time with some great people! Stogie man knows how to throw a good Herf I see.
2. Jeff Weaver, Jason Giambi and Jaret Wright. George Steinbrenner is their sitting around talking about how much money and stress they caused you the fans and of course the Yankees! Boy I bet your glad there gone.
3. A Dog and judging by your profile picture he loves a good smoke just like you and I!
4. Well I’m Tall (6’8”) so to me I would call you short and judging by all the crap you catch here on CP about your height you must almost be considered a midget. I know how it is to catch crap for your height I have to answer 2-3 tall questions a day.
5. Ron Whites urine after a long night of stand up comedy!
6. Swisher Sweets and Philly Blunts but your right on track with your new favorite dog rocket Al Capone’s. All flavored of course.
7. Aristocrat, 8 Desktops, and two coolers… WOW That’s got to be like 1 million Swisher Sweets!
8. Goatee! It makes you look taller!
9. 20 miles which is way to close and if I was you I would be hitting the brick before you get crushed by her 15 minute of fame ego driven “POOF”. I mean really what’s with this POOF Craze!
10. 1,249,609.05 Next time make it a little harder with some “powers” or some negative #’s

Thanks for throwing this out there for all us newbies. I had a good time coming up with some of these answers.

Enjoy the game tonight!

Paul


Edit Spelling and I forgot to use my shift key... Boy that was close!

 

[Audi_kraut]

As far as the Los/Douche thing goes Gary....it's pretty simple

Met Fan = Douche

Good point Frank....although I think it's something way deeper :laugh:

That's what she said. :thumbs:

Good luck guys (sadly I've broken multiple rules).

 

[Jonesy]

Hey Shorty, are you ignoring me on purpose or did I miss them all? I was pretty sure I was close on the height anyways.

1) What is my son's first name? Jonesy

Damn, you're not looking to make any friends, are you!

 

[ironpeddler]

Hello to all the new members of CP. Today I'm running a contest and the Grand Prize Winner will receive a box of cigars that I don't like!

I have a box of 'Nick's Sticks' that are not to my liking...I thought they would be a good yardgar and they were not. I smoked 3 out of a box of 20, but I filled the spaces with 3 other sticks. This particular box is in a robusto size and has a Sungrown wrapper...Perdomo calls them the "Little Havana Blend". As I love almost everything in a Sungrown wrapper, these were a bit too mild for me...hence, a Noobie Contest!

To Qualify:


2) Who are the 3 people I admire the most and who did they smoke a cigar with recently? Me, Los, and Jay...I said admire, not perspire
3) Do I own Cats or Dogs? I hope you're a pussy man...)O, you got one
4) How tall am I? 4'9...only if I stand on a half a dozen Manhattan phone books
5) What is my new favorite scotch? Whatever is the cheapest...2 right
6) What were the 2 cigars I smoked exclusively for almost 25 years? Grape and watermelon White Owls...WRONG! They didn't make watermelon until 1993!
7) What brand of humidor do I own? Swisher...Nick?
8) Do I wear a beard or a goatee? Nutsack tickler...OK, now you got 3 right
9) How far do I live from Snooki's house? You're her Grandfather, she lives with you...and she missed her rent payment for August
10) What's the square root of 33,295,826...times 680...divided by 3.14? 69...do they teach Math below the Mason/Dixon line?

Good luck to all that play

Did I win?

Wait a second Cock Bag, I just checked, you're not even close to 75 meaningful posts...

DISQUALIFIED!

 

[ironpeddler]

1) What is my son's first name? Jonesy...all my kids have hair
2) Who are the 3 people I admire the most and who did they smoke a cigar with recently? Larry, Moe and Curly. They're herfin with the big G....Shemp
3) Do I own Cats or Dogs? Pussy magnet...one right
4) How tall am I? Its all about girth...how true
5) What is my new favorite scotch? Billy Connolly...3 right!
6) What were the 2 cigars I smoked exclusively for almost 25 years? Travis Clubs and Finck's Rejects...but close
7) What brand of humidor do I own? Omaha Steaks styrofoam cooler, with extra duct tape...close again
8) Do I wear a beard or a goatee? Van Dyke...Dick or Jerry?
9) How far do I live from Snooki's house? About 4 feet, under Snooki's bathroom...we have a 2ft water table here
10) What's the square root of 33,295,826...times 680...divided by 3.14? 7210561044.585987...7210561044.585988

Close! :laugh: :laugh:

 

[ironpeddler]

1. Your son’s name is Anthony and I must say he looks just like you. Great pictures from the Quad State Herf by the way. Looks like it was a great time with some great people! Stogie man knows how to throw a good Herf I see....that's one
2. Jeff Weaver, Jason Giambi and Jaret Wright. George Steinbrenner is their there sitting around talking about how much money and stress they caused you the fans and of course the Yankees! Boy I bet your glad there they're gone....minus 2 for spelling!
3. A Dog and judging by your profile picture he loves a good smoke just like you and I!...he died a year ago, he sits in a box in the cigar room...
4. Well I’m Tall (6’8”) so to me I would call you short and judging by all the crap you catch here on CP about your height you must almost be considered a midget. I know how it is to catch crap for your height I have to answer 2-3 tall questions a day....2 right
5. Ron Whites urine after a long night of stand up comedy!...WTFDTM?
6. Swisher Sweets and Philly Blunts but your right on track with your new favorite dog rocket Al Capone’s. All flavored of course....3 right
7. Aristocrat, 8 Desktops, and two coolers… WOW That’s got to be like 1 million Swisher Sweets!....1,000,007 to be exact
8. Goatee! It makes you look taller!...I love you man
9. 20 miles which is way to close and if I was you I would be hitting the brick before you get crushed by her 15 minute of fame ego driven “POOF”. I mean really what’s with this POOF Craze!...you get the 2 back for the spelling!
10. 1,249,609.05 Next time make it a little harder with some “powers” or some negative #’s....I'll take your word for it!

Thanks for throwing this out there for all us newbies. I had a good time coming up with some of these answers.

Enjoy the game tonight!

Paul


Edit Spelling and I forgot to use my shift key... Boy that was close!

Very, very close! :laugh:

 

[Tall Paul]

1. Your son’s name is Anthony and I must say he looks just like you. Great pictures from the Quad State Herf by the way. Looks like it was a great time with some great people! Stogie man knows how to throw a good Herf I see....that's one
2. Jeff Weaver, Jason Giambi and Jaret Wright. George Steinbrenner is their there sitting around talking about how much money and stress they caused you the fans and of course the Yankees! Boy I bet your glad there they're gone....minus 2 for spelling!
3. A Dog and judging by your profile picture he loves a good smoke just like you and I!...he died a year ago, he sits in a box in the cigar room... Sorry to hear that. My Bad!
4. Well I’m Tall (6’8”) so to me I would call you short and judging by all the crap you catch here on CP about your height you must almost be considered a midget. I know how it is to catch crap for your height I have to answer 2-3 tall questions a day....2 right
5. Ron Whites urine after a long night of stand up comedy!...WTFDTM? I dont know much about scotch but do know he drinks a ton of it during his stand up performance. So you could probably get drunk off his piss. It may be strait scotch.
6. Swisher Sweets and Philly Blunts but your right on track with your new favorite dog rocket Al Capone’s. All flavored of course....3 right
7. Aristocrat, 8 Desktops, and two coolers… WOW That’s got to be like 1 million Swisher Sweets!....1,000,007 to be exact I had a feeling you loved those!
8. Goatee! It makes you look taller!...I love you man I have a beard because it makes me look shorter...LOL Who am I kidding you could cut me off at the knees and I'd still be tall!
9. 20 miles which is way to close and if I was you I would be hitting the brick before you get crushed by her 15 minute of fame ego driven “POOF”. I mean really what’s with this POOF Craze!...you get the 2 back for the spelling!
10. 1,249,609.05 Next time make it a little harder with some “powers” or some negative #’s....I'll take your word for it!

Thanks for throwing this out there for all us newbies. I had a good time coming up with some of these answers.

Enjoy the game tonight!

Paul


Edit Spelling and I forgot to use my shift key... Boy that was close!

Very, very close! :laugh:

There, their and they're! Be happy my dumb ass put all the "R's" in the post! You know they don't teach proper english in MA so grammer is out as well!

Thanks again fot the oppurtunity. Hope you enjoied the Yanks come back victory last night. Now Sox are only 1/2 a game up. Boy this is tight with only 28 games left. Can't wait till the end of September for the last series of Sox/Yanks! Wonder what the standings will look like then.

Hope you and yours have a good holiday weekend!

Paul

 

[Joebunaga]

6) What were the 2 cigars I smoked exclusively for almost 25 years? Travis Clubs and Finck's Rejects...but close...Dutch Masters?
8) Do I wear a beard or a goatee? Van Dyke...Dick or Jerry?...Dick, you don't look like a banjo picker.

 

[ironpeddler]

6) What were the 2 cigars I smoked exclusively for almost 25 years? Travis Clubs and Finck's Rejects...but close...Dutch Masters?... :laugh: that's 4
8) Do I wear a beard or a goatee? Van Dyke...Dick or Jerry?...Dick, you don't look like a banjo picker....looks can be deceiving :whistling:

Closer!

1. Your son’s name is Anthony and I must say he looks just like you. Great pictures from the Quad State Herf by the way. Looks like it was a great time with some great people! Stogie man knows how to throw a good Herf I see....that's one
2. Jeff Weaver, Jason Giambi and Jaret Wright. George Steinbrenner is their there sitting around talking about how much money and stress they caused you the fans and of course the Yankees! Boy I bet your glad there they're gone....minus 2 for spelling!
3. A Dog and judging by your profile picture he loves a good smoke just like you and I!...he died a year ago, he sits in a box in the cigar room... Sorry to hear that. My Bad!
4. Well I’m Tall (6’8”) so to me I would call you short and judging by all the crap you catch here on CP about your height you must almost be considered a midget. I know how it is to catch crap for your height I have to answer 2-3 tall questions a day....2 right
5. Ron Whites urine after a long night of stand up comedy!...WTFDTM? I dont know much about scotch but do know he drinks a ton of it during his stand up performance. So you could probably get drunk off his piss. It may be strait scotch.
6. Swisher Sweets and Philly Blunts but your right on track with your new favorite dog rocket Al Capone’s. All flavored of course....3 right
7. Aristocrat, 8 Desktops, and two coolers… WOW That’s got to be like 1 million Swisher Sweets!....1,000,007 to be exact I had a feeling you loved those!
8. Goatee! It makes you look taller!...I love you man I have a beard because it makes me look shorter...LOL Who am I kidding you could cut me off at the knees and I'd still be tall!
9. 20 miles which is way to close and if I was you I would be hitting the brick before you get crushed by her 15 minute of fame ego driven “POOF”. I mean really what’s with this POOF Craze!...you get the 2 back for the spelling!
10. 1,249,609.05 Next time make it a little harder with some “powers” or some negative #’s....I'll take your word for it!

Thanks for throwing this out there for all us newbies. I had a good time coming up with some of these answers.

Enjoy the game tonight!

Paul


Edit Spelling and I forgot to use my shift key... Boy that was close!

Very, very close! :laugh:

There, their and they're! Be happy my dumb ass put all the "R's" in the post! You know they don't teach proper english in MA so grammer is out as well!

Thanks again fot the oppurtunity. Hope you enjoied the Yanks come back victory last night. Now Sox are only 1/2 a game up. Boy this is tight with only 28 games left. Can't wait till the end of September for the last series of Sox/Yanks! Wonder what the standings will look like then.

Hope you and yours have a good holiday weekend!

Paul

Paul, if I didn't correct you...do you know how much sh*t I woulda taken from the Grammar Police? :laugh:

Mo almost blew it in the ninth again, as has been the case against the Sox lately...each game is a heart attack waiting to happen!

Keep at it...you're not out of the running yet!

 

[ironpeddler]

As far as the Los/Douche thing goes Gary....it's pretty simple

Met Fan = Douche

Good point Frank....although I think it's something way deeper :laugh:

That's what she said. :thumbs:

Good luck guys (sadly I've broken multiple rules).

Let me be the judge of that Michael...

...and that I think about it, as of last month, we have become 'Pass Brothers' and does earn you a Special Exemption! :laugh:

Give it your best shot :whistling: