• Hi Guest - Sign up now for Secret Santa 2024!
    Click here to sign up!
  • Hi Guest - Come check out all of the new CP Merch Shop! Now you can support CigarPass buy purchasing hats, apparel, and more...
    Click here to visit! here...

I Drew the Short End of the Stick & Got smellysell

Secret Santa

Secret Santa

CEO, North Pole Inc.
Joined
Nov 25, 2002
Messages
5,022
I have to tell everyone, I was really pumped about this year's Secret Me event over here at CP as I waited with great anticipation for the PM to come to my Inbox. Who will it be? Maybe @CigSid? @Rod? @stogieman? You know, someone really nice that I could put a great big smile on their face! I was totally pumped and ready. Then I received the email from our dickhead dictator (or is that dicktaster?) who's running my event. Looks like Brundon stuck me with 'smellysell' and that basically sucked all the f'in life right outa me in a heartbeat, to the point I was going to cancel Christmas 2020. The whole year sucked anyway, I figured who would notice? Right? But the cheery words of malcontent @Matt R got me back on track when I read he came back for my event. If his excuse ridden, sorry ass can show up, so can I. BTW Matt, sorry to hear about your Dad, he was a good man.

So, without further ado, I propose the question that has made me famous for generations, "What the f*ck you want for Christmas?" Wait, don't tell me, craft beer & cigars. :rolleyes: While you have remained consistent in your 13 years here, that number 13 will bring you coal this year no matter what the hell you ask me for. So, try to be a little creative and think outside the box for once....and don't ask for any tranny hookers like you do every year. I'm also not getting you the Back to the Future sports book so you get better at Fantasy Football. Not even that book could help you with that.

Let's get this show on the road, spit it out kid, I have millions of good people to take care of....

Love,

Santa

Santa.jpg
 
Buckeye my ass @Acclaym . I still haven't forgotten the picture his family took when I met him the first time...

smellysell.jpg
 
Justin isn’t THAT bad Santa! But you are right about fantasy football 😂 He also loves snowboarding, and his dog... I’m sure you can put a smile on his face somehow 😊
 
While I can't disagree with most of what you said, I made the playoffs in 4/5 leagues! 😂

I'll take be happy with whatever you send, just no booze please. More of a medium-mild guys. Try not to get too excited shopping for me! 😂
 
Santa, make sure you are VERY CLEAR about what you've put in his present. :D
 
Justin is a great guy Santa, Take care of him real good!!!!
 
Justin - my apologies for the late response. I've been waiting on a few of the "slower" elves, to get their shit together and get your things ready. I've got notice that the last part of your "Introduction to NAMBLA" gift, should get there by the 17th, then I'll have it out to you. In the meantime, keep shredding dude:

1608130338961.png
 
No worries, Santa. I'm assuming you're referring to the Marlon Brando division of NAMBLA...

Glad to see you standing on that the right direction!
 
Alright, enough of this nice guy banter. I'm BACK! OK Smelly, your gift is on the way as I used the USPS elves out of my Summer residence in North Pole, Alaska. It's scheduled to arrive on Christmas Eve as long as they get their shit together and stop drinking their spiked eggnog all day. As for your new "Introduction to NAMBLA" gift, when I went to register you, they said you were already an 'Emeritus in Good Standing'. :rolleyes:

BTW: I'm not one to post delivery numbers as not to spoil the surprise, but that Brandon fella has all the info.

Let me know when it arrives and Merry Christmas Smellysack!

Love,

Santa
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top