Texassdave
New Member
- Joined
- Apr 18, 2007
- Messages
- 2
HA! My first contribution to this fine site and I thought you guys might get a kick out of it! A few of us noobs started a blog to chronicle our newbie cigar experiences ... My brothers latest review had me rolling! Enjoy!
if any of you noobs feel like following along in our journey (or if you just need a good laugh) here's the link:
http://www.cigarexperts.info/
on to the review:
Enter the Maduro Mangler
April 25th, 2007
Name: Scott (Big Nasty)
Official title: Destroyer of Toilets, The Maduro Mangler
Goal in life: One cigar, two chicks, and a Monica Lewinsky “How to” book.
Favorite Cigar to Date: Padron 1926
Favorite Utility Cigar: CAO Mx2
As I sit on my patio during a rainstorm I’ve forced to reflect on how lucky I’ve been through out my 29 years of life. Maybe it’s the fond memories of the Camocho Triple Maduro that I smoked last night or the rain on my Laptop charger sending tiny jolts of electricity to my balls, either way, something is giving me that sweet warm feeling in the cockels of my inner soul. And as we all know, sweet warm cockels translates into writing indepth ratings on the cigars that I’ve recently tongued in an inappropriate manner. So let my opinion be heard throughout the land so that others can copy my knowledge and get laid at parties.
First. let’s start with what I like…. Your Mom… HA! Just kidding…. She’s a bitch. But enough about your promiscuous mother. My Favorite Cigar of the last few weeks is:
Camacho Triple Maduro
http://cigars.about.com/b/a/256117.htm
If you like a dark rich full body Cigars like a Nappy headed ho, then I demand you try this cigar at the earliest opportunity. It’s got a great flavor and a very smooth finish. It’s fairly strong so don’t operate heavy machinery while you’re smoking it. Have a seat, get a cup of coffee and enjoy the best two and a half hour smoke of the year.
It rates about a 9.2 on my Great-fucking-smoke-o-meter.
Beware: if you don’t like Maduro then don’t even stare at it for over 30 seconds or your taste buds will explode. Personal, I like Muduro like a fat kid likes standing next to a fatter kid at a dodge ball game.
Next
CAO Mx2
http://www.cigar-review.com/CAO-MX2.html
Another Maduro favorite of mine. A lot a flavor and just a hint of spice. The best part is they’re only about 5 bucks per stick. I prefer the short Robusto for a great quick smoke. Long enough to relax and short enough to finish nailing your wife before she wakes up. Again, if you don’t like Maduro then you won’t like this. Of course if you don’t like Maduro then you’re probably too busy playing with your Barbie dolls and organizing your Tampax…… pussy.
Next
Rocky Patel Vintage 1990
http://www.2guyssmokeshop.com/Rocky+Patel+1990+Vintage.html
This a standard cigar with not much to it, but it’s great for new comers to the leaf. It’s smooth, medium body, with a little spice for the hell of it. It’s a real easy smoke and will still piss off your wife or girlfriend like only a true cigar can.
If you don’t really know what flavors to go after but still want a good smoke I recommend it. Not too expensive and a relatively quick smoke.
Finally,
Acid Earthiness
http://www.coronacigar.com/b_ACID_Cigars_bid3.html
Ever want to know what a ground hogs ass taste like. Well you’re in luck. Acid Earthiness is here to give all you potting soil eaters something to look forward to. Normally I have nothing but good things to say about the Acid series, but this time Drew Estates has created an abomination of a cigar. It’s like there’s a party in your mouth and everybody is throwing up.
Upon first inspection I was intrigued by a cigar modeled after the natural decomposition of organic matter on the Earths surface. After the first draw I thought “hmmm what a unique flavor, After the second draw I thought, “man, you will not find another cigar like this”, then after the third draw I thought “wow, so this is what it would taste like if Mother Nature had diarrhea in my mouth”. Seriously, unless you enjoyed eating dirt as a child, do not try this cigar.
Well that’s all for this week. Join me next week when I go over the best way to talk your Cuban friend into becoming a cigar mule.
Texasssssssssssssssssss
if any of you noobs feel like following along in our journey (or if you just need a good laugh) here's the link:
http://www.cigarexperts.info/
on to the review:
Enter the Maduro Mangler
April 25th, 2007
Name: Scott (Big Nasty)
Official title: Destroyer of Toilets, The Maduro Mangler
Goal in life: One cigar, two chicks, and a Monica Lewinsky “How to” book.
Favorite Cigar to Date: Padron 1926
Favorite Utility Cigar: CAO Mx2
As I sit on my patio during a rainstorm I’ve forced to reflect on how lucky I’ve been through out my 29 years of life. Maybe it’s the fond memories of the Camocho Triple Maduro that I smoked last night or the rain on my Laptop charger sending tiny jolts of electricity to my balls, either way, something is giving me that sweet warm feeling in the cockels of my inner soul. And as we all know, sweet warm cockels translates into writing indepth ratings on the cigars that I’ve recently tongued in an inappropriate manner. So let my opinion be heard throughout the land so that others can copy my knowledge and get laid at parties.
First. let’s start with what I like…. Your Mom… HA! Just kidding…. She’s a bitch. But enough about your promiscuous mother. My Favorite Cigar of the last few weeks is:
Camacho Triple Maduro
http://cigars.about.com/b/a/256117.htm
If you like a dark rich full body Cigars like a Nappy headed ho, then I demand you try this cigar at the earliest opportunity. It’s got a great flavor and a very smooth finish. It’s fairly strong so don’t operate heavy machinery while you’re smoking it. Have a seat, get a cup of coffee and enjoy the best two and a half hour smoke of the year.
It rates about a 9.2 on my Great-fucking-smoke-o-meter.
Beware: if you don’t like Maduro then don’t even stare at it for over 30 seconds or your taste buds will explode. Personal, I like Muduro like a fat kid likes standing next to a fatter kid at a dodge ball game.
Next
CAO Mx2
http://www.cigar-review.com/CAO-MX2.html
Another Maduro favorite of mine. A lot a flavor and just a hint of spice. The best part is they’re only about 5 bucks per stick. I prefer the short Robusto for a great quick smoke. Long enough to relax and short enough to finish nailing your wife before she wakes up. Again, if you don’t like Maduro then you won’t like this. Of course if you don’t like Maduro then you’re probably too busy playing with your Barbie dolls and organizing your Tampax…… pussy.
Next
Rocky Patel Vintage 1990
http://www.2guyssmokeshop.com/Rocky+Patel+1990+Vintage.html
This a standard cigar with not much to it, but it’s great for new comers to the leaf. It’s smooth, medium body, with a little spice for the hell of it. It’s a real easy smoke and will still piss off your wife or girlfriend like only a true cigar can.
If you don’t really know what flavors to go after but still want a good smoke I recommend it. Not too expensive and a relatively quick smoke.
Finally,
Acid Earthiness
http://www.coronacigar.com/b_ACID_Cigars_bid3.html
Ever want to know what a ground hogs ass taste like. Well you’re in luck. Acid Earthiness is here to give all you potting soil eaters something to look forward to. Normally I have nothing but good things to say about the Acid series, but this time Drew Estates has created an abomination of a cigar. It’s like there’s a party in your mouth and everybody is throwing up.
Upon first inspection I was intrigued by a cigar modeled after the natural decomposition of organic matter on the Earths surface. After the first draw I thought “hmmm what a unique flavor, After the second draw I thought, “man, you will not find another cigar like this”, then after the third draw I thought “wow, so this is what it would taste like if Mother Nature had diarrhea in my mouth”. Seriously, unless you enjoyed eating dirt as a child, do not try this cigar.
Well that’s all for this week. Join me next week when I go over the best way to talk your Cuban friend into becoming a cigar mule.
Texasssssssssssssssssss
