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Ethics Question - Help

S

sleepyjim

Vet and dam proud of it!
Joined
Aug 11, 2003
Messages
1,232
Ok on another board, a guy who is established and very good trader comments, posted to sell off some nice sticks to buy cheapies since has was having a rough time money wise, a temporary situation that month, anyway I sent him about 50 sticks, about 10 others sent packages as well, now about 2 and a half weeks later he starts a bombing run, now as far as I can tell he only bombed one person so far.

My question for you is, do you:

1 PM him about it.

2 Post about it on the bomb thread

3 Do nothing, maybe he's on his feet again

4 Keep kicking your dog to vent


Jim
 
Quite a sticky situation you have there Jim. To me, it seems that you and the ten other people who sent good quality cigars went above and beyond the call of duty to help out your fellow aficionado. To me, it's comparable to loaning money to a relative to pay bills, only to have them blow it on a new entertainment stand with all the goods. Two and a half weeks isn't enough time to turn things around magically, at least if you're not an athlete who gets forwarded a sum of your salary.

I think it would be a mistake to create a thread about it. That's just going to up the ante so to speak and create super-harsh feelings. Not only that, but since he is established, you will have lots of people get involved. I would PM the guy and really tell him how that made me(you) feel. Stress that you just want an explanation-use an example as listed above or something like that to illustrate your point. If he doesn't see your point or gets huffy about it, just kick the dog and let it go that he's a narcissistic ass. :D He owes you an explanation nothing more and no matter how inadequate his explanation might be. Sorry to hear that your experience wasn't a good one. :( :(
 
I guess it would worth seeing the thread and knowing how he exactly presented it. You said he posted to "sell" some "nice" sticks. So did he sell any packs? Were the cigars sent to him by you and others part of a nice stick/cheapie trade? Or did you all just send him cigars because you felt he was down on his luck? I guess some clarification on what really went down would help out, before you said anything.JMO
 
Jim, knowing personally(NST) how you can take care of someone, I know that you sent him a number of quality sticks. Add 10 other BOTLs and he'd have quite a stash of good cigars. I'd definately send him a PM and give him an opportunity to respond. No explaination and I'd feel obligated to my fellow brothers to call him out publicly. ???
 
My take is that if he was bombed by you to the tune of 50 sticks (you didn't say it was a trade for his smokes) and 10 other people say at 5 sticks (min) each he now has 100 sticks PLUS what he had before. 100+ sticks is about 3 months supply for me. If I knew my fiscal situation was going to improve in 4-6 weeks I'd have no problem sending out the extras.

This happened to me to a less extent on this board. Someone had some problems and I bombed him with 20 or 25 sticks and I know a few others did too. He got back on his feet once the insurance check arrived and then sent the smokes he didn't want onward to other deserving BOTLs. I had no problem with that as they weren't mine any longer.

What I would have a problem with is if I gifted someone a rare/hard to get/high end smoke and THEN they passed it on as their own to someone else. Even though it was still a gift something like that would jerk my chain big time.

Its Karma, what goes around comes around. A bomb for whatever reason is no longer yours to say what is done with it. If he did trade you good sticks for yours you still have no say in what he does with them. JMHO.
 
Aloha Jim!

Good advice being offered... I'd follow it. Initiate contact privately first and see if you get a satisfactory explanation before going public with it. If it happened to me I'd feel the same way as you.

Good luck Jim and I hope things work out.

Aloha,

Wade
 
Some god points made here. Definitely try to resolve it privately but in all honesty, from what you've said, it doesn't look very good in my opinion. i've seen this happen too many times and it could be a scam.

Good luck with the situation though!
 
Hey there,

Not to play devil's advocate, but he very well could have got on his feet again over night. In my business, you could be on your way to the corner with your "will work for food" sign and one million dollar home is sold (in Scottsdale of course) and you got a $30,000 check in your hand in as little as 10 days later.

I will agree with the rest of the fellas here and say he definately owes you some sort of reasonable explanation. I'd definately shoot him a PM prior to publicly making any noise.
Robert
 
Here is a maybe ;
the guy had a few good sticks of his own, but could sell or trade them to get alot of cheapies ok, , then you bomb him and he feels a lil' bad because he didn't ask for free sticks and wanted to just pass the kindness you gave on to others.
 
If it were me, I'd wait a little while. Give him a month or so. Maybe he won the lottery, maybe some deal came through, or maybe the things he's sending out are some cheap cigars he bought with the profit from the cigars you 10 sent him.

Regardless, just because he didn't post a bunch of bombs, doesn't mean they weren't sent. if there's any chance at all that this isn't a scam, you owe it to yourself and to him to hold off. You said this guy has a great rep. That doesn't come through scams or overnight.

How would you feel if you flamed this guy (or even sent a request for explanation) and then the next day his package arrived in the mail? Even worse, what if his package arrived with a note that he thanks you for your kindness in a time of need because he was paying for his wife's/daughter's/mother's hospital bills. But when the insurance check arrived right after she died three days ago, he wanted to repay everyone's kindness.

See what I mean? Give it a month or so, then approach him with a PM. You may be surprised.
 
Maybe I'm dense... Whats the issue here? Sounds like a bunch of people helped him out, and now he is returning the favor?
 
I always give ppl the benefit of the doubt untill proven wrong, makes the world a much nicer place. Some asshole cuts yah off, maybe hes havin a bad day?We've all been there. I dont understand if it was a trade or you were just helpin him out, but you did the nice thing so i would let it go at that. People like you do nice things because they are nice and think of other people, not to be rewarded. I'm such a bleedy heart when im drunk. mad props for jim guys, he hooked me up on a newbie trade :thumbs:
 
Correct me if I'm wrong but here is the situation:

The said guy offered up sticks (Opus, etc.) to trade for connies and bundled cigars. He said he wasn't having a good month selling this month and needed some bundles to get him through. Well the majority said keep your sticks and we'll just bomb you.

Now may'be he did get back on his feet or may'be he's bombing with the cigars he didn't won't or may'be he's just returning the favor. Either way take it to PM and see what's said. After that it's up to you. I know you'll do right :thumbs:
 
I would agree with others once given it's gone how ever we all like to think our gifts were recieved with the same enthusiasim as we get when we send them
I have been on both ends of the stick, my g/f gets a kick outta the way I package everything ever so carefully as I prepare a bomb or just a helping hand to a BOTL ( Ok so that one turned out rotten ... no name needed ). Or when I carefully disect the remains of our mailman from a well traveled package from A BOTL before I open it ............. and then bore the **** outta her about what someone had sent me :p
But as stated by me and others before " Once It's Gone It's Gone "
 
P.S. Just to Clarify AVB's previous comment ...

This happened to me to a less extent on this board. Someone had some problems and I bombed him with 20 or 25 sticks and I know a few others did too. He got back on his feet once the insurance check arrived and then sent the smokes he didn't want onward to other deserving BOTLs. I had no problem with that as they weren't mine any longer.
Click to expand...

Well thanks to AVB and other BOTL who know what "IT" is came to my rescue.

Here's The Story

Thanks to these brothers I was able to make it threw difficult time .

Now were the aforementioned stix went astray

which were blatantly followed by 1 box Monecristo 444
1 box Montecristo Afrique 444
1 box Trinidad 444
1 box H.Upmann Vintage Cameroon 444
1 box Mantiquella TapaNegro #38's
and singles of
2 Montecristo No. 3
2 Romeo y Jul. Maduro No.4
2 Romeo y Jul. 1875 Cedro Deluxe No. 2
2 H. Upmann Corona
1 Montecristo Serie V No. 4
1 Trinidad Corona
* can ya see a pattern here lol been grabbing JRs specials, hey I may be patriotic but I'm cheap :p and the singles where from the 10 pak Sampler from JRs magazine subscription. Anyways I was told 1st package arrived safe and sound and await eagerly the next one, they plan on celebrateing Labor Day with the cigars so I,m already working on next holiday which is Vetrens Day Nov, 11th which will be Kuwait Kare #3.
So far I ordered 2 boxes of the La Pariso that were onsale last week ....
So if any of my brother's would care to send anything along I will be sure to include it in the package I know some of our brothers had alreayinquired about sending in next box so I hope I will here from you.

And hey not is this only a pathetic act of begging it's also my 1st thread jacking :love:
 
P.S. Just to Clarify AVB's previous comment ...

This happened to me to a less extent on this board. Someone had some problems and I bombed him with 20 or 25 sticks and I know a few others did too. He got back on his feet once the insurance check arrived and then sent the smokes he didn't want onward to other deserving BOTLs. I had no problem with that as they weren't mine any longer.
Click to expand...

Well thanks to AVB and other BOTL who know what "IT" is came to my rescue.

Here's The Story

Thanks to these brothers I was able to make it threw difficult time .

Now were the aforementioned stix went astray

which were blatantly followed by
1 box Monecristo 444
1 box Montecristo Afrique 444
1 box Trinidad 444
1 box H.Upmann Vintage Cameroon 444
1 box Mantiquella TapaNegro #38's
and singles of
2 Montecristo No. 3
2 Romeo y Jul. Maduro No.4
2 Romeo y Jul. 1875 Cedro Deluxe No. 2
2 H. Upmann Corona
1 Montecristo Serie V No. 4
1 Trinidad Corona
* can ya see a pattern here lol been grabbing JRs specials, hey I may be patriotic but I'm cheap :p and the singles where from the 10 pak Sampler from JRs magazine subscription. Anyways I was told 1st package arrived safe and sound and await eagerly the next one, they plan on celebrateing Labor Day with the cigars so I,m already working on next holiday which is Vetrens Day Nov, 11th which will be Kuwait Kare #3.
So far I ordered 2 boxes of the La Pariso that were onsale last week ....
So if any of my brother's would care to send anything along I will be sure to include it in the package I know some of our brothers had alreayinquired about sending in next box so I hope I will here from you.

And hey not is this only a pathetic act of begging it's also my 1st thread jacking :love:
 
Hey Jim. Was the bomb aside from the selling of his more expensive sticks to get by? If you let him have it because he was having a bad time I wouldn't expect anything in return.
 
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